5 Easy Tips to Supercharge Your Affirmations

by Danea Horn

Affirmation: “I am abundant.”
Thought: “Wait, what about all that credit card debt?”

Affirmation: “I am filled with vital energy.”
Thought: “I don’t think so. It took a giant cup of coffee to open my eyes this morning.”

Affirmation: “I give and receive love freely.”
Thought: “Yeah, right.”

Affirmation: “I am happy.”
Thought: “Nope. Not even close.”

Affirmation: “I am fully present in this moment.”
Thought: “What is it that I have to do later today?”

Affirmations are touted to be the wonder cure for manifesting dreams. However, sometimes affirmations feel like you are trying to pull one over on yourself. With great conviction you affirm your deepest intentions and immediately hear a nagging internal voice that says, “Nope, I do not think so.” After weeks of trying to desperately convince yourself of something that is not true, you give in, declare that affirmations don’t work for you, and move onto the next self-help technique.

I’ve been there – in debt, lacking energy, searching for purpose and trying to talk myself into a new life that was clearly not part of my current reality. From the depths of that experience, I learned a few tricks to turn on the power of affirmations. It all starts with feeling.

Words are just that – words. They can mean everything or nothing at all. Affirmations become effective when words entice strong feelings. It is the feeling that carries the energy to manifest change. The goal with any affirmation is to feel how you want to feel when the words have become a reality. If your affirmations feel like a lie, then you are creating the opposite effect than you intended.

Determining Belief
Sometimes it can be confusing to know if you really believe in the affirmation that you are using. When you say the affirmation, ask yourself the following two questions to determine how effective your words are.

1. How does my body feel when I make this statement?
Our bodies are a keen feedback mechanism to let us know how we feel. An affirmation that you do not believe will cause your muscles to tighten, or you may feel an uncomfortable sensation in the pit of your stomach.

2. Where do my thoughts go when I say this affirmation?
Do you begin listing all of the reasons that the affirmation is not true for you? Does your mind create barriers to manifesting the affirmation? Your mind will automatically send its reaction to your self-talk into your awareness. By listening to your thoughts, you become clued into what your mind is programmed to believe.
It is important with affirmations to begin by meeting yourself where you are. That means if affirmations feel like a lie, allow that to be your starting point. Personal honesty is the doorway to change.

Finding Truth
The opposite of lying is telling the truth. It is the truth that allows positive feelings to accompany words of affirmation. Use the five techniques below to engage the feelings you want to feel when your affirmations are your reality.

1. Add the words “choose,” “willing,” or “potential” to your affirmations.
“I am abundant” may be hard to believe if you have debt. However, “I choose to be abundant” promotes feelings of empowerment and motivation to create change. Similarly, “willing” and “potential” shift affirmations away from a reality that may not exist and toward an attitude that can be cultivated now.

2. The thing you think you want is not what you truly desire.
Four years ago my goal was to pay off all of my credit cards. I asked myself what I really desired by paying off my debt. The answer was love – nothing to do with money. I wanted a stress-free relationship with my husband. The debt was a dark cloud that lingered in our conversations, and I wanted nothing more than to have the freedom of unconditional love back in our household. Love is what I began affirming, and love is what I felt when I said my affirmations. Over the next six months, our income unexpectedly increased and allowed all of the debt to be paid off. To key up your feelings, ask yourself if you are affirming the thing that you truly desire.

3. Get in the zone.
It is a select few who actually focus themselves when they say affirmations. Affirmations are an afterthought as they move through their day. If you give yourself 10 to 15 minutes each day to relax, breathe and visualize your intentions, you will find that it is easier to transport yourself into the life you dream of. It is in this space where your affirmations are true, even if just for 10 minutes in your mind. Research shows that our subconscious does not know the difference between reality and visualization. Your imagination can be the catalyst to sending out the feelings of the experiences you desire to attract.

4. Smile.
Just as our bodies are adept at letting us know how we already feel, they are also skilled at shifting our feelings. Grinning from ear-to-ear while you say affirmations will put your mind in a state of joy and possibility where your dreams have the potential to come true.

5. Begin with gratitude.
If you are still having a difficult time convincing yourself of a reality that is only in your mind, begin with looking at your life as is. Make a list of all of the things for which you are currently grateful. Sincere gratitude is an affirmation. Start by recognizing and giving thanks now to attract more things to be thankful for in the future.

Say, repeat and feel your affirmations as true now, in this moment, and one morning you will wake up to a reality that once only existed in your mind.

Danea Horn’s life has been about healing. Managing her health has graced her with insights around how vitally important positive thinking is. As a certified life coach and motivational speaker, Danea is an expert at helping people design and implement strategies for a fulfilling life when facing health challenges.

Photo credit: ashley rose,

Your Friend, Anxiety

Tummy trembles. Brain fuzz. That discombobulating feeling that you’re not quite sure what you should be doing, but you should be doing something to keep your act together. Anxiety.

Sometimes it slips away with a few deep breaths, other times you need to beat it off with a stick or some little white pills. Naturally, we want to try to get as far away from anxiety as possible – which usually just results in us being anxious about being anxious. You resist, and so it persists. But what if rather than pushing it away, we actually welcomed anxiety when it showed up?

What if, rather than dreading the discomfort it brings, we looked at anxiety as a delivery service of inner truth and other such soul goodies? Because every time anxiety shows up, it’s our psyche’s way of saying, “Knock knock, I’ve got something to show you about yourself that you really should see.”

Danish philosopher Søren Kierkegaard explained anxiety is a natural condition. (How liberating!) He believed that anxiety is “a cognitive emotion that reveals truths that we would prefer to hide but that we need for our greater health.” And that it’s a valuable tool for shaping our ideal lives.

Think of it this way: beneath the butterflies in your stomach, behind the clouds in your mind is your greater truth … and it’s trying to break on through.

TURNING ANXIETY INTO POWER

Step 1: Face reality.

“I’m anxious.” Simply notice your anxiety.

Firstly, you need to be aware of your actual indicators of anxiety … they can be different for everyone. A lot of times anxiety is trying to talk to us and we’re just not picking up on the physical or mental cues. For me, anxiety manifests in what I call, priority confusion. If I wander from room to room in the house, unsure if I should tidy, check my email, walk the dog or write a novel, then I know something is up. I’m typically very laid back and laser-like decisive, so if I can’t figure out what’s first on the to-do list, I know that anxiety has come callin’.

When you see the signs of it, all you need to do is simply state it. “I’m feeling anxious.” There. You said it. You probably feel better already. Getting real is always the best first step.

Step 2: Inquiry.

“So, why am I anxious?”

This is the step that requires real work. It’s the kind of inquiry that calls for both concentration and compassion … a tricky combo. Having an “inquiry image” might be helpful. I often see dilemmas as layers of soft, earthy sediment within myself, and each question is a drilling down through the silt. “So why am I anxious?” I ask myself. “Because I don’t want to be late.” Not quite, that doesn’t feel true. “So why am I anxious?” I repeat. “Because I’ve got so much to do.” Nope, that’s not it either; it’s not making sense to my heart. “So why am I anxious?” I drill down. “Because I’m afraid that when I show up I’ll be rejected.” Bingo.

When you get to the true reason for your anxiousness, and there may be more than one explanation, then there’s usually a softening that occurs when you come across it.

So you called it like you see it. That’s powerful. And you’ve identified the reason – even more powerful. Now you’re ready to rise above it.

Stap 3: Take responsibility.

This is where your real power comes in. This is the fun bit, where you get to be a creative grown-up, the master of your own domain. Once you’ve discovered why you’re feeling anxious whether it’s fear of failure, or a memory of past hurt or humiliation, then you need to counter the fear and negativity with courage and optimism. It’s that simple – and that challenging.

Whatever you want to call it: positive thinking, re-framing, self-encouragement, ra-ra-rah, this is where you need to step up to the plate, look at your fear head on and confront it with your truth. The truth being that you manage to get through every day whether with grace or grit; that fear will not kill you; that your God, or your friends, or your grandma in heaven will have your back; that you have risen above before, and that you will rise above again; that it’s only life after all.

Anxiety doesn’t come bearing the solution. It’s just there to direct your attention to the problem. It’s like a headache that signals to you that you’re hungry. The headache reminds you that your body needs nourishment, and then it’s up to you to feed yourself. Self-care is a divine responsibility. To befriend anxiety is to choose your deepest strength. It’s turning brain fuzz into brilliance, and the jitters into vital fuel to help you shine brighter than ever.

Action is the Antidote to Despair

By Zoe Weil

You’re making all the right choices. You’re an organic locavore. Whenever possible, you bike, take public transportation, or walk instead of drive, and when you drive it’s a hybrid. You choose cruelty-free, toxin-free personal care products. You’re a member of a dozen different organizations all with missions you wholeheartedly support. Compact fluorescents? Of course. Bottled water? Never. Yoga and exercise? Regularly. A positive attitude? Absolutely.

But perhaps you, like me, have those dark nights of the despairing soul when you worry whether we really can turn things around on our beleaguered planet. You present a sunny disposition, but deep inside, you sometimes struggle with your own hopelessness. And then you head to your Zumba or Pilates class to sweat away your anxieties and have a shot of wheatgrass to give yourself a boost. You focus on your good choices to stave off any bad feelings lurking below the surface.

But there’s a way to truly lighten your soul, and that is to take all that passion that drives your healthy, humane and sustainable choices and put it not only toward your daily decision-making but also toward your active participation in affecting change.

Mahatma Gandhi was once asked by a reporter, “What is your message?” Gandhi had a big message, of course. He was trying to free his country from British rule using only nonviolent methods, and he was rarely averse to sharing his beliefs with others. But on this particular day, he responded to the reporter by jotting down on a piece of paper, “My life is my message.”

When I first read this, I was stunned by the universal truth of Gandhi’s statement. If Gandhi’s life is his message, I surmised, then my life is my message. Each one of our lives is our message, whether we like it or not. The real question then becomes, “Am I modeling the message I most want to model?” “My life is my message” became a mantra for me, and I sought to make sure that the choices I was making modeled the message I wanted to spread. Readers of this blog know all about this because you do it every day. And that’s fantastic.

But, and this is the hard (gelatin-free) pill to swallow: in today’s world with the huge problems we face, from global warming to escalating worldwide slavery to the horrifying rates of species extinction to unimaginable institutionalized animal cruelty, etc., modeling one’s message isn’t enough. We must also work for change.

There are myriad systems that need transformation: food production, electronics production, energy, schooling, conflict resolution (can’t we come up with an alternative to war?!), architecture, suburban sprawl, transportation, and so on. Even if our individual daily choices do have a positive impact, that isn’t enough to fully transform unsustainable, destructive, and inhumane systems into ones that are restorative, healthy, and just.

But here’s the great news: when we not only harness our energies toward making healthy daily choices, but also uncover our most creative and viable solutions to solve systemic problems, we discover that we have never felt more alive, joyful, and purposeful.

So, what issues do you care about most? What skills and talents do you have? What great ideas do you carry around inside of you that, if enacted, could actually help change an unhealthy system and create a wonderful new avenue for peace?

Here are some ideas others have enacted:

Dara O’Rourke got to thinking as he rubbed sunscreen on his 5-year-old daughter that he should look into what’s in it. When he found out that he was smearing toxins on his daughter, he decided that more people needed to know what he knew. With a team of scientists and researchers he launched http://www.goodguide.com/, creating a business that now allows each of us to learn all sorts of important information about our products. His work enables us to make more conscious choices aligned with our beliefs.

When Katie Redford was in law school, she visited Burma and discovered the horrifying human rights violations perpetrated on the Burmese by a military dictatorship in cahoots with a U.S. oil company. She then wrote a paper invoking an obscure law, the Alien Tort Claims Act, arguing that U.S. citizens have the right to sue American companies for their human rights violations abroad. It took nine years and a group of fellow lawyers to win her case, which set a precedent and thereby changed a system.

Mohammad Yunus was an economics professor in Bangladesh during his country’s terrible famine in the 1970s. He wondered what all his education was for if he couldn’t help his own people, so he went into the village and asked 42 people what they needed. Their answer? A combined $27 to bring rice to market. This launched the microcredit movement, which has since lifted millions of people out of poverty. Yunus created a new banking system so that people with no collateral at all could borrow small amounts of money. He has since won the Nobel Peace Prize. (Notice he didn’t win the Nobel Prize for Economics, but rather for Peace, because lifting people out of poverty creates peace.)

Joan Baez once said, “Action is the antidote to despair.” If ever those dark nights of the soul threaten your peace of mind, remember that your efforts to harness your imagination and creativity on behalf of meaningful, systemic change will not only make a powerful, positive difference in the world but will also bring you incredible satisfaction and sense of accomplishment.

What a wonderful combination: model your message and work for change, two sides of the same coin, one that will fund a peaceful, healthy world for all.

Zoe Weil is the president of the Institute for Humane Education where the world becomes what you teach. She is the author of “Most Good, Least Harm: A Simple Principle for a Better World and Meaningful Life,” “Above All, Be Kind: Raising a Humane Child in Challenging Times,” and “The Power and Promise of Humane Education.” Visit her blog.

Self Trust: The First Secret to Success

By Jen Louden

I wish I could claim that title as my own, but it’s from the illustrious Ralph Waldo Emerson. It may seem strange to start a post about self-trust with someone else’s words, but trust also means knowing when someone else can say or do it better than you can yourself.

Isn’t it amazingly weird that learning to trust ourselves actually makes us more able to take in useful guidance and learning? When we don’t trust ourselves, we often close down or pretend to know it all because we lack any internal sense of what fits for us and what doesn’t.

We’re living in a time when self-trust is assaulted at every turn. Think about how often you are bombarded with other people’s “expert” opinions, advice, thoughts, and input. There is this unspoken idea floating around that somebody knows better than you. My daughter was watching a reality TV show about dating in which a man told young women how to date. I kept asking her, “Why should they listen to him?” The assumption is that if he is on TV (or on the radio, or on Oprah, or has 100,000 followers on Twitter), then he knows best. When we are overwhelmed and confronted daily with unprecedented amounts of information and change, we grab for whomever and whatever guidance we can get.

There is nothing wrong with outside guidance—except when it is all you get. When everyone else knows better than you, you begin to distrust your own desires, your own opinions, and your own instincts. Not only does that make you vulnerable to late night infomercials promising answers to everything from improving your wrinkles to your sex life, but it is exhausting, which contributes immensely to the feeling of being overwhelmed. It becomes harder and harder to be present and know who you are.

I believe that you know what is best for you. I believe—no, actually I know from working with thousands of women—that by developing trust in what you know, you can build the fulfilling and joyous life you yearn for. It’s hard-wired into your DNA, just the same as your green eyes, love of poppy bagels, and your thicker-than-you’d-like thighs. The trick is to stop dismissing what you know, what you want, what you feel, and to quit thinking someone else knows better.

This idea of self-trust and living a genuine life is a deep one. It’s an idea that I revisit again and again on my blog, in my retreats, and on my membership site, the Comfort Cafe. In fact, one of my life projects is to show women how to find the good in their lives and in themselves, and live that goodness by trusting it daily.

Here are some simple ways to tune into that inner truth, right here and right now:

Turn off the noise. Shut off the TV, log out of the chat rooms, and stop reading the how-to books from the so-called experts. YOU are now the expert in your life. After all, no one knows you better than you know yourself. The first few minutes of quiet—even the first hour—may feel awful. That’s a good sign; keep it up!

Take a break from self-improvement. What if you were okay and perfect and good, right now? What would your life feel like if you didn’t have to change a single thing about yourself? Try to move into that space and own it, if only for a few minutes at a time.

Acknowledge what you know. This may mean, for example, that when you get an uneasy feeling about a new client, you stop and pay attention to it. This may mean that when you have a craving for Ben and Jerry’s Phish Food ice cream, you let yourself notice the craving instead of immediately making it wrong. This may mean picking a new pair of shoes without asking for input from your best friend. This may even mean asking yourself throughout the day, “What do I need most right now?” and then acting on that answer, even a tiny bit.

Building self-trust is one of the most radical ways to claim your life and find the good in yourself. It liberates energy, passion, and makes life a whole lot easier. Start by asking yourself right now, “What do I know that I need to do next?” and trust what you hear.

Jen Louden shares her wisdom, gained from 20 years of helping women find the good in their lives, through her blog, retreats, books, and kick-butt coaching. If you would like to find out more about how to build self-trust and live an authentic life, sign up for Jen’s free “Find the Good Booster Pack,” or visit Jen online.

Spiritual Intimacy

By Cora Poage

“I just don’t know if Ben is spiritual enough for me.” I found myself saying this to a fellow Spiritual Psychology student last weekend regarding my partner of 8 years.

“Or maybe he doesn’t go as deep in conversations or something. I just don’t feel like I am completely heard or seen by him. I don’t think we have much spiritual intimacy. It’s almost like we speak different languages about this stuff.”

“Hmmm…” my wise counselor responded. “Do you think you have EVER felt this kind of spiritual intimacy with Ben?”

I closed my eyes, blinked back tears, and remembered the first summer we met: It was the Exploration Summer Program, Boston, 2002. I saw him from across the room at the Staff Orientation. Our first conversation felt like magic; the flow to our communication, so organic, even Divine. “Who is this angel in a (hot) male’s body?” I wondered.

His blue eyes danced with spirit, his laugh, deep with connection to Source, and his very Being personified faith. It felt simple then to surrender to his love, our love. We were so innocent. Spiritual intimacy was natural. The term “soul mates” even comes to mind. We were best friends in a breath, partners in a heart beat…in love with each other for life.

“Yes, yes,” I said. “Absolutely, I have felt this kind of intimacy with Ben.”

“Would you like to tell me more about what has happened since that first summer?” she asks.

Our Story flashes through my head, my heart. What has lead us to where we are now?

My own Irrational Beliefs around marriage and men come to the surface in a torrent of emotion. I hear them: “All marriages end in divorce. It is only a matter of time before someone is unfaithful. Husbands try to tie their wives down. I have to have four kids and cook like Martha Stewart to be loved. He says he supports my dreams, but I don’t believe it.”

Deep Breath. Are any of these really true for Us? No. Not at all; although I don’t think Ben would mind a pot roast dinner once in awhile. Hell, neither would I!

Deep Breath. Self Forgiveness: I forgive myself for buying into the misunderstanding that all marriages end in divorce. I forgive myself for assuming that because my parents got divorced a couple times, I will, too. I forgive myself for judging Ben as a chauvinistic tyrant. (Couldn’t be farther from the truth!)

I look up in my counselor’s face and I see love, support, light. “This is helpful. I feel more open to my marriage. But what about this whole spiritual intimacy thing?”

I close my eyes again, and I hear him. Who? ECKHART TOLLE… I didn’t even know I had this quote memorized!

“Outflow determines inflow. You can’t receive what you don’t GIVE. What you think the world is withholding from you, you already have.”

The tears flowed, with gusto this time. I pictured Ben’s beautiful face and I realized the Truth. My irrational belief that Ben wasn’t “spiritual enough” came from my own FEAR of intimacy. WHOA!

My fear is that if I open up from my deepest Authentic Self, from my place of Divine Love inside he will leave, get scared, or abandon me. Suddenly, I feel a strange mix of both empowerment and deep annoyance. “You mean this is up to me? I have to take action?”

And a new voice from within: “Yes, honey. This is up to you. You built the walls. Now you get to knock them down.”

Deep Breath.

Deep Breath.

Deep Breath.

“If you let yourself be truly seen, then you can be truly loved.” -Susan Ariel Rainbow Kennedy (SARK)

I dedicate my Blog Post to you, Ben. My lover, my teacher, my partner in life, and my very best friend. I vow to break down the walls, brick by brick, as I open up to you more and more, as I “let myself be truly seen.” Forgive me for these irrational beliefs that I have held around you and marriage up until now. I am releasing them; they do not serve me. I am open to a spiritual intimacy with you and I am enthusiastically and lovingly holding a safe space for you to open up to me as well.

In closing: When Ben and I were engaged, I shared a story with him about a woman who had been divorced once. When her boyfriend requested her hand in marriage, she said she really had to think about it. She was delving into an amazing career and was really focused on self-care, her son, and her own dreams. She asked for two weeks to go up to her family’s cabin and deliberate.

After only one week, there was a knock on the cabin door. There was her boyfriend with a box in his hand. “I know I was supposed to let you be alone for two weeks, but I wanted to bring this to you.” She opened up the box, and inside there was a rock and a feather. “I’m the rock, and you are the feather,” he said, “Go pursue your dreams, your independent goals. I am here for you. I can be your home base.” She decided to marry him.

I shared this story with Ben. I said, “Can’t you relate? Don’t you think I’m the feather, and you’re the rock?”

He smiled at me, took my hand, and said, “You are my rock AND my feather.”

I am choosing Love. I am choosing Faith. I am choosing to believe in that highest good of all.

And Ben, you are my rock AND my feather.

Cora Poage lives in New York City with her incredible husband Ben (her “other” soulmate) and her two crazy kitties. She is the owner of Super Woman Health, a company offering wellness coaching for learning to eat, exercise, and live intuitively.