Empowered Health

There’s something so annoying about getting sick. Whether it’s the common cold, flu-like symptoms or being hit with the cancer stick – it really is most inconvenient! And let’s be honest, it’s never a good time to get cancer. “I have things to do, thank you very much – you are mucking up my life plan, god damn you!” was my response to my “incurable” disease.

I have never been one to do things by halves; it’s just not in my DNA. I went for 24 years without ever having to step inside a hospital (apart from the time I faked hurting my back falling off the garden swing because I didn’t much fancy school that day) and then in an instant, everything changed, and my life revolved around scans, hospital waiting rooms and Mr. Oncologist. Yes, I got cancer. And that sucked. But then I got “better.” And then four years later, I got it again, and was told it was “incurable.” That really sucked!

During those four years, I did a lot of reading, a lot of researching, and a whole lotta learning, and now those golden nuggets are coming in handy as I have set about helping my body to heal naturally. Yep, these days, I self-medicate with stuff you can’t get in a bottle and that no one can manufacture. If you’re wondering what those things are, I’ll get to that.

But first, let me tell you that this is the stuff I wish I had known back then. During my first diagnosis, there seemed to be very little information available to help people help themselves. I felt I had to ride the rollercoaster cancer journey alone and work out for myself how I could heal the “incurable” lymphoedema that had developed in my right leg after my treatment (which I did heal successfully, by the way!) I had to find more natural ways to relieve the constant constipation from treatment, deal with the diarrhea days, overcome the nausea, the extreme fatigue, learn how to get the best out of the doctors seriously lacking in social skills and even re-educate friends and family on how to communicate with what I had become: a cancer survivor.

All of this and more, I wish I had known. But most importantly, I wish I had known at the beginning that I could have taken back the reins on my health at any time. It’s so easy to roll over and give your power away to your doctor, close your eyes and wish they would just “fix me.” But the truth is, there is always something you can do to help yourself. Whatever your health, and whatever path of treatment or non-treatment you go down, there is always something you can do to move from feeling disempowered to becoming an empowered participant in your health and well-being.

So what are these things I have learned along my path that allow to me feel healthier and happier than ever before, despite this inconvenient “incurable” cancer?

1. Understand your illness. Come to grips with the facts, learn what makes it tick and what stops it in its tracks so you can make better food and lifestyle choices.

2. Get support. Don’t be afraid to ask for help. The belief that we have to do everything alone is often more painful than the reality of the situation. Give yourself permission to be a little bit selfish for once. Prioritize your health – you deserve that.

3. Deal with the mind monkeys. The fear and uncertainty around your illness can often be paralyzing, so it’s important to manage them and realize you are not your thoughts. Drop the fear-based thinking and choose positive and loving affirmations instead.

4. Take care of your emotional needs. Dealing with the emotional aspect of having an illness is a little bit like watching “Little Miss Sunshine.” Sometimes you’ll laugh, sometimes you’ll cry and sometimes you’ll have no idea what to feel, but it’s vital you deal with the waves of emotions. See a therapist, write a journal or find a creative outlet in some form of therapy to ensure the emotion is released.

5. Practice stillness. Everything exists within a larger context. The chair you’re sitting on, the computer you are reading this on, the glass you are drinking from. It’s all stuff. Stuff exists within space. Take time to notice the space around the stuff and the stillness that is omnipresent. Take time to tune in to it and let it be your guide. In the stillness, you’ll find that peace exists.

6. Eat consciously. A clean, green diet is where it’s at in terms of optimum wellness. Flooding your cells with vitamins, minerals, enzymes and super-sexy oxygen boosts immunity, improves mental clarity, positivity and improves energy levels.

7. Get moving! Exercise helps the body flush out the toxins, kick-start the immune system and get the lymph system pumping. Whether you are a yoga bunny, kickboxing fanatic or just prefer a leisurely stroll, get your body moving!

So whatever journey you are on and whatever health storm just blew into town, ask yourself what you can be doing. You have the power in every moment to make a different choice. Choose to think and act differently. Take positive steps to help your body heal and choose to become an empowered participant in your health.

Polly Noble is author of “The Cancer Journey – Positive Steps To Help Yourself Heal,” inspirational speaker, holistic health coach and raw food coach. Polly coaches people to take back the reins on their health and happiness so they can live a life they love.

Five Tips for Establishing & Maintaining Healthy Boundaries

One of the most common questions I am asked as a mental health professional and someone living with and healing from a “chronic and progressive” neurological disease, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (RSD/CRPS), is how to establish, maintain and enforce (when needed) healthy interpersonal boundaries. This topic is especially important when one is living with chronic, acute and/or terminal illness because unhealthy interpersonal relationships and stressful life events can flare up and even aid in the progression of many dis-eases. When trying to heal, spirits need to be flying high and stress needs to be kept low. Even as a healthy individual, stressful interpersonal relationships can put a major strain on your mind-body-spirit. Learning how to set and maintain healthy boundaries is a must for maintaining proper health and well-being throughout all areas of your life.

Many of the questions I get asked center around the other person, stating, “I’ve set my boundaries, but this person won’t change.” Establishing and maintaining boundaries in your life is not about forcing others to change, but it is about deciding what you will and will not tolerate followed by establishing how you will enforce those set boundaries if they are tested or simply ignored. Below are my five tips for establishing and maintaining healthy interpersonal boundaries.

1. Communicate your boundaries. Communicating your limits firmly, consistently, succinctly and without strong emotion (without blame and/or judgment) is imperative because one never accomplishes his/her goals by putting the target audience on the defensive. You don’t want to create more conflict. Try saying something like, “It is super important that I avoid stress in my life so that I can heal, which includes X, Y and Z.” Do not justify or rationalize your boundaries. This is not a two-way conversation but rather a polite, calm, firm and respectful statement of your needs – no discussion needed.

2. Communicate the consequences. Once you have communicated your boundaries, be sure to follow with the consequences for violating your boundaries. For those people in your life who are particularly manipulative, controlling, abusive or overbearing, stay firm, be very specific about what you will and will not tolerate, and be even more specific about the consequences that you will enforce if your boundaries are tested and crossed. For example, “If you continue to criticize me, I am going to end our conversation.”

3. Stay firm. Boundary setting is not a two-way conversation. There is no negotiating your boundaries and the consequences you put in place for when your boundaries are violated. Stay firm when it comes to what you will and will not tolerate in your life. You come first, and that is OK.

4. Practice makes perfect. Learning to set boundaries can take time and, like any other skill, you will improve with practice. For many, the idea of standing up for yourself and communicating your desires may feel totally foreign. Don’t worry, with time, it will become a staple in your health and wellness tool box.

5. Lose the Guilt: It is quite common for individuals, especially us people-pleasers, to feel guilty or selfish when establishing boundaries and saying “no,” but it is important to recognize that you have the right to take care of yourself without letting limiting belief systems get in the way of your mind-body-spirit health and wellness. Remember, saying “no” to someone often means you are saying “yes” to yourself. Start saying “yes” to yourself today.

You deserve unbounded happiness, you are worthy of luscious miracles, and you belong in healthy, loving and respectful interpersonal relationships. If you require some daily affirmations to help yourself through the beginning stages of setting and enforcing your boundaries, repeat the previous sentence over and over again several times a day while adding: “I have the right to take care of myself.” If you don’t, who will?

Maria Mooney, MSW, LSW, is a raw vegan, licensed social worker living with a progressive neurological disease, Reflex Sympathetic Dystrophy/Complex Regional Pain Syndrome (RSD/CRPS). On her blog, Maria reflects on lessons learned through her health challenges, shares her experiences with alternative and traditional treatments, enjoys life to its fullest and heals herself.

Photo credit: Oni

Is Healing Your Body a Full-time Job? Tips for Easing the Overwhelm

Does this sound like a typical week? A doctor’s appointment, a massage, acupuncture, daily yoga, therapy, 25 daily supplements, morning green juice, daily meditation, cardio, cooking, and that’s after cleaning the house, getting the kids to school and finishing the sales presentation. Wow, I’m tired just thinking about it.

Healing your body from illness can seem like a full-time job on top of your regular life ? a job you didn’t even apply for.

How do you manage it all without going crazy or making yourself sicker? One option is to ignore your self-care and go on with life as usual. I’ve seen this work for some, but usually not for the long term.

Alternatively, you can try to do it all at once and get overwhelmed under the weight of juggling all your healing tasks with your family and career obligations. Early on, when I was healing myself from multiple sclerosis, I spent more nights at the dinner table crying from overwhelm than I like to think about.

I eventually found a third way between overwhelm and denying the disease. I found a way that honors the healing process without having it consume or define your life. Here are some those lessons.

Start slow.

It can be natural for some of us to take on all the healing modalities at once. That was biggest the mistake I made. I was so determined to stay out of a wheelchair that I jumped in with both feet. I don’t advise it. It’s not possible and it’s not wise.

Instead, start with a few items and build up your self-care muscle. Start with green juicing or 20 minutes of meditation every other day. Any one of these can give you more energy so you can later add yoga or massage.

Self-care is a project.

While you might not have asked for this job, it is yours. Put it on your to-do list. Not just the appointments, but also the juicing, the baths, the supplements – everything.

But don’t put it at the bottom where you will forget it. That’s easy to do without a deadline. Instead, place healing at the top of your list.

I know this sounds like it will create more stress. But it works to shift your paradigm, and put self-love front and center. If you are notorious for taking care of yourself last, illness marks the end of that.

Don’t get me wrong; I’m not saying sales reports and soccer practice aren’t important. Yet if you are sick or too fatigued, you won’t make those anyway. There is a reason they tell you to put your oxygen mask on first.

Plan, delegate and execute

OK, all your healing tasks are on your to-do list. Great. But that doesn’t by itself make it any less overwhelming. Just like that big project at work, break down the tasks, plan them out, efficiently multitask and engage help when needed.

Here’s an example. You want to make green juice each morning, but you also need to get the kids and yourself out the door. Plan it out. Sunday afternoon clean, cut and prepare all the produce for the week. Then put enough for a day in seven separate bags. You can even have the kids help. Each morning, grab a bag, juice it and head out the door.

Make healing fun.

Ask a person who loves their job what they love about it and they will almost always say, “because it’s fun.” Why not make self-care fun?

Spice things up. Try Thai massage. Practice yoga naked. Dance in your skivvies to Lady Gaga instead of going to the gym. Play soccer with your kid, and score parenting and self-care points. Be creative.

Make healing sacred.

OK, the shot I give myself every day is not fun. Having to down all those supplements three times a day is no joy either. How do you get through the yucky stuff?

Make those moments sacred. Take a deep breath. Burn a candle or put on a relaxing sacred CD. (I love Tibetan singing bowls.) Then as you pop that pill or insert that needle, imagine it is a magic potion going directly to the source of your illness and restoring your health. Not only does this take the dread out of these tasks, you also incorporate the power of guided imagery that may even boost the healing effects of your medicine.

Be kind to yourself.

I imagine self-care like a serving tray overflowing with beautiful dishes. There are so many dishes piled up that occasionally one falls off. No worries, I just place it back on the tray and continue on. The same is true of all your healing methods.

Know that on any given week or day, something will fall off. You will forget your midday supplements. You will be too tired for yoga. It’s OK. Don’t beat yourself up. Expect it to happen. Why? Because you are human.

What do you do when it happens? Get back on the bike. Pick up the task the next day.

But one word of caution: Create boundaries around the ultra-important healing tasks. Those are the ones that will set your healing back big time if it falls off the tray. For example, I never miss my daily injection, no matter what. For you it may be a pill. Or yoga. Regardless, create strict boundaries around those one or two things. And then don’t cry over the other stuff.

How will you organize your week so you have the time to make self-care an integral and non-overwhelming part of your life?

Laurie Erdman is a holistic health coach and the Chief Wellness Hero at Chronic Wellness Coaching. She helps her clients take the overwhelm and confusion out of their healing journeys.

Photo credit: Tyler Axtell

Reclaim Your Mornings

Start the day on your own terms, and change your life for the better.

Every day, millions wake with a sense of urgency. Jerked from sleep by an alarm, we lurch directly to the coffeemaker, to our email, to the day’s news headlines, or some other up-and-at-’em directive.

One way or another, we abruptly press the day’s “on” switch, and before we’re entirely conscious, long before our brains and bodies have nudged themselves into first gear, we’ve thrown them into overdrive.

As a result, we may wind up feeling frenzied, reactive — and taking that energy into the rest of our day, infusing it into all our interactions and projects.

We also miss out on a lot of insights and creative impulses available to us during the brief “twilight state” of theta brainwave activity that exists almost exclusively between sleep and waking awareness. What a waste!

So, I’m making a case for reclaiming our mornings — or even some small part of our mornings — as an act of defiance against the less-than-satisfying status quo, and as a delightful and potentially transformative act of self-care.

My sister, Andrea, has this down to a sacred science. She gets up before anyone else in her house, lights a candle and a stick of incense, then puts on relaxing music. She unrolls her yoga mat, sits, and — at minimum — takes three long, centering breaths.

Generally, those three deep breaths lead her into a gentle yoga practice that may last anywhere from five to 30 minutes. At the end of her practice, she meditates for a few moments, sending loving thoughts to her friends and family, and setting some key intentions for the day.

When her mat-based practice is complete, she makes tea, has breakfast, and only then does she turn on her phone, consult her calendar and begin the active portion of her day.

Understand, this is not some idealized nice-when-it-happens thing for my sister. It’s a rock solid deal. She’s missed maybe half a dozen days in the past several years. That’s because she has a very simple, default-minimum commitment: Unroll the mat, sit, take three breaths. That’s it. The rest is negotiable.

Sometimes, things come up, of course, and when a longer practice isn’t possible, Andrea adjusts the program accordingly. But she never gives up on unrolling her mat, centering and taking those three deep breaths.

If she can get that far, she says, she almost always finds the time and willingness to do a little more. And she says these few high-value moments she devotes entirely to herself help establish a conscious tone and rhythm that carries through her entire day — and by extension, her life in general.

Then there’s my friend Brian Johnson, founder of PhilosophersNotes (insightful six-page summaries of books on optimal living, the reading of which make for a great morning practice in and of themselves). Brian starts his day with a whole series of what he calls “blissiplines” – daily disciplines he’s found to be fundamental in creating the conditions for his best, most blissful life.

Brian’s blissiplines include about a half an hour of meditation and movement, followed by time spent journaling and reading. Like my sister, Brian says he’s found these practices so essential for optimizing his productivity, creativity and happiness that he can no longer imagine going without them.

Of course, it does take a certain amount of willingness and discipline to establish a morning ritual, particularly if your current a.m. routine is so dull and drudging that you’ve never paused to consider it.

Happily, you don’t have to devote hours to a morning ritual in order to benefit. You just have to have a ritual and do it consistently — ideally, even (and perhaps especially) when you don’t feel like it.

I suggest keeping your ritual short, easy and very doable to start with, knowing that you can always expand it if and when you like.

When I first started doing my own morning practice (about eight years ago) it simply consisted of having a cup of coffee out on the porch, listening to the birds chirp, and pulling a wisdom card to help me start the day on a calm, conscious note. Total time: five minutes, max.

I’ve had more leisurely rituals, too. They’ve involved everything from candlelight journaling and guided visualizations to guitar playing.

Every year or so, I like to tinker with my ritual, working in various meditations and creative practices, gentle exercise, music, time outdoors, wisdom literature, poetry, or whatever appeals to me at the time.

Lately, I’ve gotten into following my sister’s example and doing morning yoga. My current minimum commitment is five minutes, but like her, I often wind up doing a bit more.

Maybe it’s the track of the Tibetan meditation music I play during my practice (it runs for about seven minutes, and it’s so mesmerizing, I can’t bear to pull away from my reverie before it ends). Or maybe it’s just that I really dig the mellow vibe I’ve created for myself by choosing to be before I do.

Whatever the case, I’ve come to love this Revolutionary Act (Read all of them here: “101 Revolutionary Ways to Be Healthy”), and I highly recommend it to anyone hungry for a little more centering and a little less stress in his or her life.

You can learn more about why the very first (and last) moments of our days count for so much, and get ideas for how to develop calming rituals in your own life by reading these articles: “Bookends,” “The Things We Remember, “ and “The Morning Rush.”

Meanwhile, is there a small step you can take toward reclaiming your own mornings, starting now?

Do you already have a favorite morning practice of your own? If so, please share your ideas in the comments section below.

The more of us who choose to start our days on our own terms, the less frenzied this world of ours will feel. And the more opportunity we’ll all have to make the best and most conscious use of the waking hours at our disposal.

For more information on how to optimize your life, visit ExperienceLife.com.

6 Steps Towards Emotional Wellness

by Jennifer Reger

I’ve spent the past five years on the quest for wellness, with much of my time, efforts and money devoted to better food choices. I bought organic, read label after label, avoided processed food, and experimented with various food plans before choosing a vegan, plant-based diet. With all my energy focused on food, and more recently a regular fitness routine, I managed to overlook a crucial component of health: emotional wellness. And with everything else going on in my life, you’d think I would have worked on this sooner.

I felt a lack of direction in my career. My job was paying the bills, and I was grateful for that. But I knew I needed a creative outlet, and my passions were going unfulfilled. I hadn’t been able to find a relationship that stuck, which in hindsight was a blessing, but nonetheless painful. Bottom line: I had mistakenly relied on social identities and external factors (things and people) for happiness, which left me feeling less than stellar. So while emotional wellness should have been at the forefront of my health venture, food was my main priority and a distraction that I could control in terms of outcomes. I soon realized I needed to cultivate a daily practice focusing on emotional health that I could do as I dealt with my work and relationship situations.

Here are some of the steps I’ve recently taken in creating emotional wealth:

Take an internal inventory: Identify emotional triggers. I began my journey by acknowledging things in my life that drained me and that fueled me. Cheryl Richardson’s book, “Take Time for Your Life,” is a great resource and starting point; she provides a list that covers all grounds to explore: job satisfaction, relationships, spirituality, physical health and dwelling place. While a person is so much more than any of these parts, it’s important to recognize how we connect our emotional well-being to the quality of our experience with these aspects of our lives.

Practice self-care religiously. Nutrition, movement, quiet time (be it meditation, yoga or spiritual reflection), sleep and positive self-talk are essential. While they are components to general well-being, I’d argue they are integral to emotional wellness too. Ever experience anxiety or unexplained feelings of sadness after eating a super sugary cookie? Feel irritable after only five hours of sleep? How do you feel after a jog or green juice? Nurturing the physical, spiritual and mental aspects of your life will have you feeling pretty darn good and balanced.

When the going gets tough, give yourself some extra lovin’. Regardless of how well you might be feeling in general, bumps in the road are inevitable. It’s nice to have some “go-to” goodies when we need a little pick me up. This might include a feel-good movie (heck, it might be a tear-jerker to release pent-up emotion!), a favorite CD, a friend to lean on or hug or a cup of tea. And don’t forget to include some affirmations. They are powerful in creating a positive outlook on any situation. Love and light will come from you and to you. It’s amazing how saying (and believing), “Today is going to be a good one,” never ceases to result in a kick-ass day.

Mind the gap. I realized that I was spending way too much time inside my head, worrying about the future and regretting some things that had happened in the past (over which I had no control). I was both the prisoner and the warden in the cell of my mind. Yikes! If you find yourself fixated on anything besides the here and now or engaging in negative self-talk, check out Eckhart Tolle’s book, “The Power of Now.” His exercise of “watching the thinker” is revealing and freeing. After practicing detachment from both the mind and the ego, I was brimming with happiness and ease. Emotional wellness is indeed dependent on the state of one’s mind.

Nurture and expand your perspective; exercise connectivity. It’s so easy to get lost in our own worlds, the direction we are going or wish to go, and what means of fulfillment we are seeking. When done excessively, we can lose sight of the bigger picture or miss out on something great. A gratitude journal helps me recognize all the kind and generous things people have done for me that day and that I’ve witnessed being done for others. I have started to give a wink and a nod to challenges too – those perceived roadblocks, which are often the greatest teachers.

And if you’re feeling particularly low or isolated and the gratitude journal just ain’t doing the trick, there’s an awesome exercise in connectivity that you can do anytime, anywhere. Notice how everything you have experienced in a day – the bus you rode, a building you work in, the salad you grabbed from the deli, the shoes you’re wearing, the paper or book you’re reading – were all created and touched by others. Even if someone didn’t do something noticeably nice for you that day, there were many hands involved in the way you got to work, the food you ate, the book in your hands, what you wore. I always feel nurtured after this exercise.

Receive. I’m sure you’ve heard this before, but it’s worth repeating. Giving to others is great, but if you give and give and give there will be nothing left for you. And it sends the wrong message to the universe, too. Emotional wellness calls for balance and by giving too much without receiving, we deplete our energy sources. I’ve noticed recently that I regularly decline people’s help and attention, not wanting to be a burden. When someone asks how I am, I often deflect the attention by saying, “I’m fine. How are you? What’s going on with you?” I realized that such actions will keep things from coming into my life. It’s only in being open to receiving and being interdependent that we get the things we need. I’m still working on this one. Are you?

None of these practices is rocket science; they are quite simple. And chances are that the wellness warriors of the Crazy Sexy Life community are doing some of these very exercises. But in our fast-paced, information-overload world, it’s so easy to get off track. And it’s nice to get a reminder now and again to slow down and take a breath.

Jennifer Reger is creator of the wellness blog Holistic Health Junkie. She lives in Philadelphia.

Photo credit: Mr. Anathema