Being Yourself

My mother, who has what some people refer to as an “alpha” personality (others might say “benevolently dictatorial”), was chatting with an acquaintance whom she’d met while volunteering. Mom runs the Commission on Disabilities in our county, and for the last year or so we’ve had the pleasure of referring to her as “the Commish.” Since she’s the boss (and a nice person), she’d invited her fellow commission members over for a social lunch. As they were talking, her friend interrupted her, saying that she was totally surprised and impressed that Mom is the same person at home that she is in meetings or at official commission functions. “Who did you expect?” she responded.

Being the same person no matter what the circumstances might seem like a given, but think of all the interactions during which you fulfill a role. Do you speak to your boss the same way you speak to your neighbor? Do you chat with friends the same way you talk with clients or your mother? While there are obvious reasons not to be exactly the same (you know, clients really don’t need to hear the nitty gritty of last night’s date), there’s a strength of character in being yourself, no matter who’s listening.

Think about these three situations and how you typically act in each:

Work. No matter what your job title, you have a role at work. Do you find yourself telling your boss that you love her pantsuit, even though the very word “pantsuit” makes you gag a little? Do you agree with creative decisions that you’d have set on fire if there’d been an incinerator handy, just to save yourself from having to come up with a new idea? It’s probably not a good idea to go blabbing about your weekend exploits, but neither is it a good policy to be someone other than yourself at work. Voicing your opinions, ideas, and personality honestly and politely will clear your work life of stress.

Home. It’s easier to be yourself in your own space, of course. But! Perhaps you should not be so much “yourself” at home. Taking a cue from your work life might just help things run smoother around the house. For example, you’d never snap at a coworker when you’re in a bad mood; that’s called a professional courtesy. Thinking of your personal relationships in the same way that you think of business relationships can be immensely beneficial. You keep your cool under pressure at work, and the people who share your personal life deserve the same consideration. By expressing yourself the same way at work and at home, you’ll be more authentic in your interactions in both places.

Everything else. Well, there’s a handy little umbrella term if there ever was one. But really, in whatever else you do, be you! Sharing yourself and your passions with the world in a real, honest way—whether you’re waiting for your favorite treadmill at the gym or chatting in line at the supermarket—makes each day more rewarding. Sometimes this can be a tricky arena for those of us who advocate for animals. There’s a fine line between sharing your vegan passion and berating the gal next to you on the bus about her ham sandwich. When your love of a cruelty-free lifestyle is a natural part of your personality, everyone you meet will have had a positive experience with a vegan (yep, that’s you!). Even though speaking up for animals can seem scary or rude, but it won’t come off that way unless you are a scary, rude person at heart.

Being true to yourself, your passions, and your values is just about the most liberating thing you can do for yourself, and you can do it anywhere, any time! Heck, you might even make your mom proud.