By Kate Northrup Moller on January 11, 2012
A week and a half ago, I sat on the phone with my coach, and the simple act of uttering the words, “I need a break,” made my voice crack and my eyes start to well up. Thirty-two thousand miles by car, at least another 30,000 more by plane, 10 months living on the road with no permanent home, three ended business partnerships, a book deal, moving in with my new man, and a life that is unrecognizable compared to the one I was living a year ago: I was wiped out.
What crazy alien planet was I living on for it not to occur to me after the year I’ve had to take a break? As I told my coach my truth, I heard it for the first time. I realized I hadn’t taken a break in 10 months. Damn.
Take a moment right now and ask yourself, when was your last real break? If you’re anything like me, you may not even be able to remember.
My coach has given me an assignment. Every week I’m to sit by myself with no distractions (no book, music, phone, etc.) and do nothing for an hour. For some that would be sweet relief. For me it’s torture.
I have been obsessed with productivity since the time I could even pronounce the word. I had a Day Timer starting at the age of 14 and have relished the process of blocking out my time for various activities since.
For me, and a larger number of other people in our culture I would imagine, productivity is next to godliness. As much time as I’ve spent practicing yoga, meditating and reading spiritual texts, it’s extremely difficult for me to simply be. Though I’m vigilantly working to let go of this, I have a tendency to equate my worth as a human being with how much I’m doing. Can you relate?
Yet I know my compulsion to produce, limits my access to the grace and connection that can only bubble through when I’m still. Our ability to tap into our inner guidance, the divine, our higher power, God (with a little or big “g”) or whatever term you’d like to throw in, is at times amputated by our need to constantly be doing.
So here’s what happened last week during my break: I gave myself permission to do nothing. Each morning I would wake up whenever I was done sleeping, meditate for 10 minutes, and then check in with myself to see what I actually felt like doing or not doing. Did I feel like taking a shower or going back to bed? Did I feel like reading or watching a movie? Did I feel like cleaning out my sock drawer or taking a walk? There was no such thing as a wrong answer. I simply did what I felt like doing.
My break started on Thursday. I took aimless walks, watched a lot of movies, slept a lot, talked on the phone and hung out with my man. By Monday I felt positively invigorated. I spent the entire day Monday diving into a project I had been putting off since May. Was I productive? You bet I was. But I was productive in a new way. I wasn’t focused on checking off my to-do list. Instead, I was fully in the flow of my creative juice and my work was feeding my energy.
I produced great work on Monday. I was not only extremely proud of the results, it also felt really good to work on the project. I savored every moment of creative bliss as I clicked away on my keyboard translating thought into word. High on the vibes of blissful completion, I also managed to implement David Allen’s organizational system from “Getting Things Done” and cleaned out my entire inbox — digital, physical and mental. It felt amazing. (Oh, I also happened to make more money in my business the week I took a break than I’ve made any other single week this year.)
Clearly I don’t have the “being” thing figured out. I love how I feel after a great day of producing. I love producing good work. I love doing. I love being productive. But here’s what I’ve learned: I cannot produce good work without occasionally doing nothing. This is not rocket science, but I suspect you need to be reminded as much as I do.
There is beauty in taking a break. It lets us get in touch with ourselves, with grace and with the divine. It allows us to quiet all the activity so we can better make out the whispers of our soul. And then, taking a break allows us to shine in a way we couldn’t have while exhausted, when we’re ready to come on back out and shine.
So here’s your assignment:
1. Sit down at your calendar and pick at least four days in the next two months that you can give yourself permission to do nothing. This may require you to leave home if you have young children and other responsibilities. If this isn’t a possibility for you, just do the best you can. Ask for childcare help and prepare the meals for that week ahead of time so they can just be put in the oven.
2. Protect that time like it was your newborn child. Get fierce for yourself and don’t schedule anything during those four or more days.
3. When your sacred break time comes around, sleep until you wake up and then meditate first thing in the morning. Just a few minutes watching your breath is great if you don’t already have a regular meditation practice.
4. At the end of your meditation, breathe into your heart and your pelvis and ask yourself what you feel like doing. Wait for the answer to come from your heart and pelvis. Most likely you’ll get an automatic answer from your head. Thank your head for sharing, and wait to see what the rest of you feels like.
5. Do the thing your heart and pelvis told you. When you’re done with that, check in and ask yourself what you feel like doing again.
6. Repeat every day for four or more days.
7. Relish in the calm and restoration of a real break.
8. Notice how you feel when you revisit your work. Know that you have access to this level of calm energy all the time.
9. Schedule your real breaks as often as necessary.
For more information to optimize your life, visit http://katemoller.com/
Photo credit: Gauri Ma
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By Marie Forleo on September 23, 2011
It was the first time I’ve ever walked out of a yoga workshop in my life. Let’s be clear — the teachers were fantastic.
But after my fourth downward dog, I started breaking into a cold sweat, got nauseated and my head began throbbing so hard it felt like it was about to explode. “Oh great,” I thought.
What I originally thought was a 24-hour stomach bug turned into an entire week of being completely out of commission. And I do mean completely. For seven straight days, I was a hot, sick mess.
After the first three days with no signs of improvement, I started to get concerned.
“Is it salmonella? Hmmm … There was a big egg-recall recently. Some kind of nasty-ass 10-foot-long parasite or tapeworm? Maybe, but highly unlikely. A life-threatening stomach disease? Boy, would that would seriously suck.”
“You’re pregnant!” was the first thought my girlfriends all had. Nope. No shot in hell.
Then my friend Kate made a very astute observation: “I think you’re having an upper-limit problem, Marie.”
Interesting …
Cut to day four. I was deathly pale and emaciated. My boyfriend was back from L.A., and it was clear to him that whatever I had was not going away on its own.
We went to the doctor to run tests. Later that same evening, I wanted to get out of the house, so we stopped by my girlfriend’s house for tea. One by one, everyone took bets on what was causing my mystery illness.
Then Rachel, Kate’s uber intuitive cousin, said: “Marie, I really think those test results will come back negative. It’s definitely an upper-limit problem. You’re going through some major growth right now, and I’ll bet this is just part of you busting through your upper limits and increasing your capacity for success.”
In case you’ve never heard of an “upper limit problem,” what Kate and Rachel are referring to comes from Gay Hendrick’s incredible book, “The Big Leap.”
Here’s the basic idea: Each of has an internal thermometer for how much success, wealth, happiness, love and intimacy we’ll let ourselves experience. That’s our upper limit setting. Kind of like our success comfort zone.
When we exceed our internal thermostat setting, and life gets super duper OMG good (we have an influx of money, get healthy, find a great relationship) — we unconsciously do things to sabotage ourselves, so we can drop back to the old, familiar place where we feel in control.
Upper limit problems can manifest like this: You’ve just had a huge win, and then you get in an accident, break a limb, fry your computer, over-drink, over-eat, over-spend, start a fight with your significant other, get really sick, etc. You know, fun self-sabotaging stuff like that.
The truth is, I was so ridonkulously excited about the success of Rich Happy & Hot B-School and the miracles aligning for my annual Rich Happy & Hot Live event (partnering with Donna Karan’s Urban Zen; securing all of my dream speakers, etc.) that I didn’t just bump into my upper limit, I demolished that sucker with a sledge hammer.
So, yeah. I guess I was bound to have a little readjustment time.
Cut to Sunday morning. I’m reading “Breaking Dawn” in bed when the phone rings. Test results time.
“Hi, Marie. It’s Dr. Mott. Really good news here. There’s nothing wrong with you. No bacteria, no parasites or anything we need to worry about. You got a regular old stomach virus. Keep doing what you’re doing, and you’ll be just fine.”
Suu-weet!
So here’s what I did: I gave myself total permission to chillax. Zero computer time. I told everyone in my world not to expect anything work-related from me for a few days. Released myself from guilt and totally indulged in healing, coziness and every guilty pleasure I could think of.
Funny enough, the moment I stopped beating myself up for being sick, my body kicked into speed-recovery mode.
How to dismantle your upper-limit problem
Unless you understand this whole upper limit thing, you may mistakenly believe that you’re flawed or simply not “good enough” to handle a big jump in your success or happiness.
It may feel like you’re always on the verge of a life-altering breakthrough, but you either can’t seem to ever get there or maintain it.
I can tell you firsthand that everyone on the planet has varying degrees of “upper limit problems.” Thankfully, they’re a snap to overcome if you’ve got the right tools and an open, willing heart.
Step 1. Get that dealing with “upper limit problems” is a necessary part of the journey.
Look. No one escapes this shit. So don’t feel weak, bad or alone if any of this sounds familiar. Thankfully, upper limit problems can be super-easy to dissolve when you bring compassion and self-awareness to the table.
Which, of course, means checking both your ego, and your victim-y “Why does this always happen to me?” B.S. at the door.
Important note: Moving through upper limit problems is not a one-time event. If you’re committed to continually expanding your levels of wealth, love and happiness, strap in for the ride, baby.
Step 2. Increase your tolerance for how good you’re willing to have your life be, starting right now.
What’s this mean? For starters, it means treating exactly where you are and what you have with all the love, honor and respect you can muster. And this isn’t just a mental exercise, you need to act on it.
Tell your family that you love and appreciate them; be truly grateful for whatever money you have in your bank account; take care of your physical environment and the roof over your head; thank your clients for their business, and nourish your body and soul in every way you can possibly imagine.
Step 3. Go on high ULP (upper-limit problem) alert when loads of good stuff starts to come your way.
Pay special attention to your thoughts, behaviors and actions when things in your business and life start getting OMG good. Here’s a question to regularly ask yourself: “How much wealth, love and happiness am I r-e-a-l-l-y willing to have?”
If “a shit bunch!” is close to your answer, then make sure your behaviors and words line up with that answer.
Then, keep a watchful, observant eye and open heart. If you catch yourself about to start an argument, go into some manufactured mental drama or make a royally stupid and rash business decision, stop. Take a few deep breaths. Call your most grounded friend, and have a chat.
Remember, any time you’re in the midst of busting through your own upper limits, it’s bound to be a little scary and uncomfortable. You may want to pull back and contract.
Don’t. Hang with the discomfort. It’s a good sign.
It means you’ve just increased your capacity to experience wealth, happiness and love — both for yourself and for us all.
For more on how to shatter your upper limit problems, visit MarieForleo.com.
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By Elizabeth Castoria on August 24, 2011
Ahhhh. Wait, let’s all do that again. Ahhhhhhhhhh. It’s summer. The air is warm, the sun shines, the grass smells cut, and the birds chirp like maniacs. If it wasn’t already hugely obvious, I love summer. Not to put too fine a point on it, but it’s hot weather (which is the best kind), there is often ice cream, and, even when the majority of any given day is spent at work, there are weekends and hours after work that are ripe with possibility. Oh, and you can get sun. Sun is the end-all be-all of things that you can get. Any day spent in the sun is a good one in my book, and basking on a little patch of hot sand (or in a pinch, grass) is my idea of heaven. The world can pretty much float along on its little orbit, tilting on its little axis, doing whatever little worldly business it has to do, so long as I can soak in a few minutes of delicious sunshine.
“But!,” screams the overachieving Type A in my head, “Isn’t that wasted time?” The whole question of whether roasting in the sun is bad for you (which most people defnitely seem to think that it is) or not (which I’d rather believe) aside, shouldn’t I be doing something? From barbecuing to kite surfing to rock climbing to volunteering or catching up on reading or something? To paraphrase “The Simpsons,” should I really settle for being a human being, when I could be a human doing? With so, so much to do in the world (including everything from trying to make the world a better place, to captivating readers’ interest and curiosity about the highly excellent vegan lifestyle, to finally giving my tub a good scrub), is there really time to just lie there like a lump?
Here’s the thing about summer and its attendant relaxation: It is a time unto itself. Of course, there are many times during the year (particularly if you live in San Francisco, like I do) when you simply cannot bust out a bikini and lie around. There are plenty of days when you are required to be inside, for perfectly respectable purposes like gainful employment or the fact that it’s raining and dreary out. Summer is not one of these times. Summer is when you are able to cast off the shackles of clothing layers and simply enjoy. And what happens when you fully unwind, in the way that only a person who is currently warmed by the sun without any pressing obligations can? You think better! In short, summer is the time to simmer.
When our minds get a break from the incessant stimuli that surround us, something really wonderful happens: things sink in. My brain begins to realize trends like the fact that I’ve seen the same color featured in a few different magazine layouts, that there have been more than a couple headlines about a certain subject, or that salted caramel seems to be everywhere suddenly. When the deadlines are, even momentarily, turned off, my mind starts thinking about the things that it wants to think about – like characters who could work themselves into a little short story, or the texture of a favorite comfortable chair – and forgoes temporarily the things it needs to think about – like what the best headline is for a given story, or what the cover text for our next issue should say.
I’ve practiced Bikram yoga on and off for the last 10 years, and, at the end of every class, there’s a blissful time called Savasana, when the posture you’re meant to be in is simply lying on the floor. Most teachers insist that this is actually one of the most important postures of the entire series, as the stillness found in being supported by the floor allows your body to absorb the benefits of the preceding 90 minutes of hot, sweaty effort, and the same is true for the mental gymnastics our brains go through every day. Creative problem-solving creates neural pathways that keep our minds active and engaged, and once those pathways are pumped, flexed and stretched from an overtaxing work week, they’re ready to soak in a little relaxation, so that non-urgent ideas can come shining through.
They say that necessity is the mother of invention, and you can certainly always push an idea out at the 11th hour, but is it your best idea? Is it the one that you’ll be proud to claim as your own once everyone else has seen it? See what happens after an hour spent lolling on the grass. Slather on your favorite cruelty-free sunscreen, pack a bag with ice, cups and the makings for Dark and Stormys, and head to your nearest sunshine. Let your skin, and your psyche simmer in the warmth of summer, and see if it doesn’t pay off when you eventually (and somewhat begrudgingly) head back inside.
For more information on how to optimize your health, visit www.vegnews.com/.
Photo credit: José Manuel Ríos Valiente
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By Frank Lipman, MD on July 11, 2011
In my integrative and functional medicine practice, hardly a day goes by when I don’t see several patients suffering with a touch of corporatitis maximus (CM). While you won’t find CM defined on Wikipedia or easily searched on Google, you will find it lurking in the minds and bodies of stressed-out, over-extended, over-committed employees of corporations, everywhere.
So what exactly is CM? Well, to be honest, it’s a catchall phrase I use to describe the cornucopia of mind/body ailments that tend to arise when a patient’s life and how they’re living it is in direct conflict with who they are or wish to be. Over time, these conflicts begin to express themselves via a number of physical symptoms that diminish a patient’s quality of life to the point where they feel lousy most of the time, inadvertently setting the stage for larger health complications and even diseases down the road. Simply put, though CM starts in your head, before long, it takes your body along with it. Prolonged periods of exhaustion and being perpetually out of sorts start to wear down our immune systems, eroding the body’s ability to heal itself and enabling the body to slip out of balance with frequent colds that go on far too long, allergy flare-ups, aches and pains, headaches, digestive problems, constipation, irritable bowel syndrome, sleeplessness and moodiness, testiness, depression and listlessness.
If all this sounds disturbingly familiar, then you may be in the wrong job. Realistically, though, there are mortgages to pay and kids to educate, so for most of us simply “dropping out” is not an option. The question then becomes, then, “How do we combat corporatitis — short of moving to a hut in Tibet?” I suggest taking the integrative approach and battle the corporatitis beast on both the emotional and physical fronts. To do that, try a few of my corporatitis-busting tips to help restore balance, regain your health and start living again:
Step away from the water cooler. In other words, be aware of office scuttlebutt and gossip, but don’t be an active participant. Gossip is rarely positive and mostly speculative, so why fill your head with scenarios that may never come to pass, or events you can’t control? If you’re going to keep your spirits up, don’t allow yourself to be pulled into the fray.
Allow obsessive thoughts, to a point. Set a time limit — or even an egg timer — on how long you will allow yourself to obsess over a work problem. Be it 10 minutes or 45, when time’s up, move on. Come back to the problem later in the day, but give your brain a rest now, so it can come up with a solution more organically later. Give your head a chance to go with the flow.
Just say no, graciously. Many of us have trouble saying “no” to coworkers, friends and relatives, so we say “yes,” and wind up taking on far more than we can reasonably handle. Next time, instead of saying “yes,” deliver the bad news with a positive spin, using phrases like, “That’s a great idea, but…” or, “I would love to, but…” or, “That sounds wonderful, but…” Follow the “but” with a polite reason why you can’t honor the request. It will make saying “no” a lot easier for you to say, and easier for them to hear.
Push back with finesse. Saying “no” to the boss is a bit more challenging, particularly if you plan to keep your job. One way to do it is to ask the boss to help you prioritize your current projects as new ones are assigned. Not only will this remind the boss of all you’re working on, but it will also make your boss accountable for clarifying and identifying priorities.
Keep moving. Incorporate exercise into your life every day, even if you have to break it into 15 minutes in the morning and another 15 minutes after work. Just move! Exercise will enhance mood, encourage weight loss, calm the mind, improve the function of just about every system in the body and help take the edge off some of those not-so-nice feelings you might have about your toxic boss. Not a lot of spare time to exercise? Then take a tip from one of my patients who recently installed an inexpensive exercise peddler under her desk at the office, and now pedals her way through her daily conference calls.
Then, put on the breaks. Just as important as exercise is relaxation. While it’s unlikely you’ll have the time to stretch out for a lunchtime power nap (a la “Mad Men’s” Don Draper), after work, take time to do a bit of restorative yoga, a short meditation or a few deep breathing exercises. Try self-massage, using your body weight on a foam roller or tennis ball rolled over pressure points and sore spots.
Give yourself a time-out with meditation. Take a few minutes off during the day to try one of the thousands of free guided meditations available online to help refresh your mind and spirit. How to find the time? Download a meditation and listen to it on the train to work or find a quiet spot to tune in during your lunch break. Meditation is a great way to re-center yourself, clear your mind and give yourself a bit of much needed “me time.”
Give yourself a Sabbath, and stick to it. Ideally, try to unplug from your electronic devices for one day a week. If that’s not possible, then at minimum, commit to not being accessible for brief periods of time. Unplug responsibly, though, by letting staff and/or bosses know when you’ll be unavailable.
Unstuff your life. Take steps to liberate yourself from the oppressiveness of keeping up with the Joneses and embrace the joys of a simpler life, a smaller house and the ease of owning (and owing) less. Not convinced stuff makes all that much of a difference? Watch a couple of episodes of “Hoarders” or “Enough Already” to get a sense of the tyranny of too much stuff.
Sleep it off. Corporatitis gains the upper hand when the quality of your sleep is poor or you don’t get enough. Take at least one hour to prepare yourself for sleep. In that transition time, do something relaxing, like taking a hot bath or some restorative yoga. My favorite chill-out pose is reclining belt pose. When it’s time to hit the hay, make sure your bedroom is cool, quiet and dark. Banish light with blackout curtains and cover lights from charging phones, flashing caller ID boxes, sleeping laptops or light-up alarm clocks with a bit of electrical tape. And if you can’t darken your room completely, get an eye mask.
Replace “dieting” with eating intelligently. Stop or cut down radically on sugar, processed foods, refined and junk foods. Slowly switch your diet over to predominately plant foods, ideally fresh and organic if possible. Although you should know how to read a food label, most of the food you eat should not have labels. Try eating a variety of different foods — the more colorful the better. Follow these basic principles as closely as you can to create a leaner, stronger, more resilient body that’s less prone to corporatitis-induced illness and weight fluctuations.
Supplement your health and happiness. Do this not with wine or Ambien, but with natural, health-supporting nutrients and supplements that encourage the body to return to a healthier, sustainable state of wellness. For optimal function, we all need to take various supplements depending on our age, diseases, stress level etc., so work with your health care practitioner to create a personalized supplement plan to help you achieve and maintain optimal health in a challenging world.
Connect with a community. Step outside of the office and connect with a community that’s not work-related. The idea is to broaden your circle of friends and acquaintances to literally open up your world, your heart and your perspective. Be it an informal book group or organized neighborhood committee, joining a community is a great way to step outside the daily office grind and connect with others.
Practice Ubuntu. We all tend to get caught up with our own “dramas,” which keeps us in our heads and takes up a lot of energy. When we stop focusing on ourselves and are sharing or being compassionate to others, we let go of a lot of unnecessary anxiety about our own dilemmas. In fact, we often actually receive more than we give.
For more information on how to optimize your health, see http://www.drfranklipman.com/.
Originally published on HuffingtonPost.com
Photo credit: Oscar D.
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By Kris Carr on December 31, 2010
Each year at this time I sit down and write many drafts of my new year’s resolutions. This year I’m changing it up a bit. Instead of resolutions, I’m writing intentions. Instead of making a long list (most of which I don’t stick to or even remember for that matter), I’m focusing on the power of three. After all, three is a holy groovy number. Rather than burying my intentions in my journal, I’m posting them on my super-powered vision board. This way I’ll be reminded of the three things I can do to uplift my life each and every day throughout the glorious new year.
Wait … Hold the phone … Did I really commit to just three? What the @%&$?
OK, after much deliberation, here are my winners …
1. Say “Yes” more. Instead of finding reasons to keep it the same, be open to change, to meeting new people, getting in the car, on a plane, in a boat. Say “yes” to opportunity and yes to learning along the way. Say “yes” to positive thinking and finding the diamond in the coal. You may think I say “yes” all the time, but I can be a negative hermit like everyone else in the world. More “yes” in 2011. Play big or go home, KC!
But let me be clear, saying “yes” more does NOT mean overextending myself. I say hell NO to that. It means being positive and open to the people, work and experiences that add magic to my life.
2. Refuge. I went to Omega (not as a teacher – though I’ll be teaching there twice next year) but as a student, on retreat, alone. It was magical. My intention is to take myself on retreat once (maybe twice) next year. To study with someone who inspires me, someone I look up to and want to emulate more, and to spend solo time reflecting and growing.
3. Expand my cooking repertoire. I have 1,000 cookbooks (exaggeration) and yet at home we stick to simplicity. Next year I want to wow my husband, our families and guests. Time to dust off my apron and expand my skills! My grandma would be really proud. She was a professional chef – damn good too. Hey, maybe you’ll get a Crazy Sexy Cookbook out of my efforts.
I hope my intentions inspire you in someway. Share your intentions, OK? I’d sure love to read them – you may even inspire me to make yet another round of edits before the ball drops! Dear Lord …
Peace & change,
Kris
PS- I’ve been holding the intention to share my latest book, Crazy Sexy Diet, with you for so long that I still can’t believe the big week is just around the corner! In case you missed my last vlog, I would be oh so thankful if you would WAIT until the week of January 16-22 to purchase CSD for yourself and/or cherished friends and family members. Buying it then could help me rocket this book to the best seller list. Together we can teach a much bigger audience that it’s super hip to be healthy. Now that’s HOT.
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