Join the Pleasure Revolution

Have you ever just flat-out celebrated the privilege of being a woman — for no reason?

Have you ever partied with your Inner Bitch?

Owned and operated any men lately?

Would you like to make ecstasy your reality?

Welcome to the Pleasure Revolution at Mama Gena’s School of Womanly Arts.

The Pleasure Revolution is a complete redux of the paradigm called woman.

Women were never taught to guarantee their joy. They were taught to guarantee the joy of others, take care of others and then, whatever crumbs were left from that were theirs.

But when a woman reverses the order and really pays attention to her pleasure, making sure that each choice feels absolutely right to her and absolutely gratifying to her, she’s going to makes choices that enhance her life and enhance the lives of others.

Pleasure was not something we had the luxury to explore in the 20th century. We were simply shooting for equality back then. But equality is inadequate to the heart, soul, passion, fire, potential and flat-out incandescent privilege of being a woman. It is the privilege and pleasure of being a woman that is the new cutting edge in the 21st century. It is something the world is very hungry for. The absence of pleasure has created an enormous amount of suffering. There is currently an international epidemic of self-doubt, self-deprecation and self-hatred among women. A woman is a terrible thing to waste on fear, self-loathing and self-hatred. The School of Womanly Arts is a playground to teach a woman how to celebrate every side of herself — from her darkness to her light. Self-acceptance is not enough. Self-celebration is the new minimum daily requirement to live an impassioned, empowered, extraordinary life.

Every woman is a phenomenon. It is fantastic to have that much power at your fingertips—a great privilege and a great responsibility. Women have not been conscious of the opportunity and the fun that exists just by virtue of being born women. It is an idea whose time has come.

In our culture we are taught that pleasure is frivolous, dangerous, and unproductive. There are so many negative viewpoints surrounding pleasure, but pleasure is of the utmost importance, because it is the connective tissue between a human being and her own life force.

In the beginning, I was as suspicious of pleasure as everyone in our culture is. In fact, I was an unwilling student. It was simply because I, like so many women in this culture, felt depressed, alienated, and disconnected from my own womanhood. Pleasure was the elusive missing bulb in the string of Christmas lights that ignited everything for me.

I had access to parts of my own confidence and enthusiasm and voice that I’d never had prior to the study of pleasure; and what I found more astonishing and more surprising was that with the inclusion of pleasure in my life, the desires that I had had for many, many years began to manifest much more quickly.

It happens that way, not only for me, but also for every student who walks through the door of The School of Womanly Arts. Pleasure adds jet fuel propulsion to whatever it is that a woman wants. The most extraordinary and incredible things happen.

Women are able to create the relationships they want, revive marriages that were seemingly doomed, and redefine and recreate relationships with their children so that they aren’t drained but are actually engaged, and their relationships are filled with joy and generate enthusiasm from both ends. There are huge strides in a woman’s abilities to ask for generous monetary compensation from the jobs they are in, or start the new careers they have been longing for.

It is astonishing to me every time I have a class session to see what the consequences are for a woman when she begins to value pleasure.

We were always taught, “Don’t be playful because you have to work now,” but it turns out that playful is the key to really operating at your top form and having everybody operate at theirs. Who knew?

It is so easy to live a miserable life, and it takes great skill to live a pleasured life. You have to be so disciplined. Pleasure is not for sissies. It is for the courageous. You have to have a lot of guts to insist on your pleasure. Most people are not encouraged to be the source of their own fulfillment and their own joy. They are encouraged to be victimized by the culture, or the circumstances, or being a woman, or their upbringing. Pleasure forces you to take responsibility to really get yours. It is the new bandwidth that is required to create a life of extraordinary value and meaning, which more and more women are beginning to tune into. That’s why we call it the Pleasure Revolution.

For more information on how to optimize your pleasure and your life, visit MamaGenas.com and check out her Virtual Pleasure Boot Camp – starts soon!

The Secret to Self Promotion: Radiance and The Facts, Jack

Dear Danielle,

“Can I ask a question? I love working for myself and don’t want it any other way, but it seems that when you work for yourself you have to be a salesperson. I’m not a huge fan of salespeople and hate feeling like I’m pushing something on someone. If you have any opinions on that I’d love to hear them!” – Dani Griffin (via Facebook)

Dear Dani and the leagues of people who hate self promotion:

I never really understood people who are loathe to sell themselves or the stuff they make. But then again, my whole twenties (OK, and thirties) was solar-powered by the rays of my seduction. From boys to gigs to new age notions, I had a deal for you! “I got what you want and you don’t even know you want it. And I make house calls.”

Now? Meh. I’ve got what I’ve got, which is a lot. If that warms your cockles, let’s talk. If not, my engine is running, and I trust that your tribe is waiting for you elsewhere. Meep meep.

Do I sell my self? Damn straight I do. Every day, all day. I’m doing it right now. I’ll do it on Twitter, CBC TV, Facebook, this week’s speaking gig for the Travel and Media Association of Canada, and when the waiter asks me what I do for a living. But I’m no longer trying to convince you to believe and buy. Rather, (and this has been one of my most gnarly, redeeming spiritual journeys) I radiate and state the facts. That’s it. And it’s a helluva lot more efficient than sales.

So, why do you hate self-promotion?

1. Because … it makes you feel like you’re pushing something on someone? Passion is a force – and an essential one at that. If you’re not passionate about your service or your product, you shouldn’t be selling it in the first place. If you’re not passionate you have to fake it, and that’ll just make you feel like a sleazeball.

But let’s assume you are fully and truly turned on, and you’re offering the world something that you wholeheartedly believe in. Repeat: you’re anchored with integrity to purpose and meaning. That being the case, and the premise for everything I’m about to say after this, let’s proceed:

Don’t burn energy trying to assume how people will perceive you. What some people will read as enthusiastic stamina, others will interpret as pushy intruder. It’s your job to show up as you, passion and all, and let the right customers make up their mind about you.

2. Because … you’re shy? You have three choices here: a) Get over it. Nothing like motivation to put food on the table or achieve your life dreams to cure shyness. It happens all the time. b) Let someone else do the selling for you – a writer, a rep, an agent, a virtual assistant-type. c) Pray that your good intentions and the high quality or originality of your offering will attract customers and prosperity. This tact, on it’s own, never ever works.

3. Because it’s not a “strength” of yours? see #2.

4. Because you’re afraid that people will think less of you? That you’ll be less of an artist, social steward or true professional if you’re hawking your wares or blowing your own horn.

Then I have bad news for you: everything you do is promotion, so you may as well do it with aplomb. The good news? Everything you do is promotion. You are always radiating. From the personalized note that you tuck into your product shipment, to what you say at a party when someone asks you what you do, to how you pitch the art gallery or the corporation to get the big account – to the message you leave on a Facebook page.

HAPPY SELF PROMOTION = RADIATE your passion + STATE THE FACTS of what that passion generates – the results it brings for you and your customers.

I’ll go first: I’m really passionate about the practical applications of love and consciousness in life and entrepreneurship. I write and speak about it in every way possible. I ran a think tank without any formal education, I wrote a book that got the attention of Oprah’s producers, and now, in my current incarnation, I’m booked four to six weeks in advance with clients – many of them say they got enough love ‘n strategy in one hour to blow their circuits. I’m writing my next two books now and will launch them online this year.

That’s the passion, backed by the facts. Sometimes, at the start of your journey, all you may have in your inventory to “sell” is passion. And sometimes, that’s enough to open doors.

If you’re loving what you do and believing that it’s going to make a positive difference in people’s lives – whether it’s your wedding photography, your coaching methodology, or your zero point energy invention, then, you my friend, are ahead of the game. You’re light years down the path from the sorry sods who are grinning and bearing it in soul-sucking j-o-b-s.

So please, don’t devalue your currency. I’m so emphatic about this, I’m willing to get all Hallmark on you: a gift isn’t a gift until you give it away. Put a bow on it.

With much Love,
Danielle

Photo Credit: Anastasia Photography

Plan B: Don’t Do Anything

I don’t have any New Year’s resolutions, and I’m okay with that. I’m actually more than okay with it. I’m glad about it. Enough already with the lofty goals. And even with the small ones. It’s too much. A friend recently voiced how bad she felt because she wasn’t working, wasn’t making any money, wasn’t feeling like a productive member of society. She said she felt like she had a big “L” on her forehead for “loser.” Luckily, a very wise acquaintance of hers gently and smartly offered that, “Maybe the ‘L’ is for ‘learning.’”

Archimedes said, “Give me a place to put my lever and I shall move the world.” Being that he was a mathematician, physicist and engineer, he likely meant it in the physical sense – that with the right placement, a lever could move anything. But to me, it reads, “Give me a place to put my energy and I shall change the world.” And I fully believe, wholeheartedly, that each one of us has the power to do just that. Which is all good and fine when you know exactly what it is you were put on this planet to do. But more than ever, it seems like so many of us are lost and floundering. We don’t know what we’re supposed to do with ourselves, our passions, our lives. And that can be pretty uncomfortable – painful, even.

So maybe it’s time to do nothing, in a sense. I’m not suggesting we all loaf around in our bathrobes, depressed and lethargic, watching TV and stuffing down feelings with food. (Although everything has its time and place.) I’m suggesting a purposeful and mindful stepping back, and recollecting and reconfiguring. But not too much reconfiguring. More of an allowing. A creating of space – a quiet, simple, reflective, meditative, open, encouraging, fecund space – a mental, emotional, psychic arena that allows an inflow. An inflow of what, I don’t know. And that’s exactly the point. This isn’t “Figuring It Out 101.” This is getting still and quiet for however long it takes to silence the mental noise, the outside noise, the parental noise, the neurotic noise, the coulda-shoulda-woulda noise, and finally being able to hear what’s been there all along. Every single one of us has a divine purpose. A divine talent. A divine calling. But it’s really hard to hear when we’re buried under work, responsibilities, dysfunctional relationships, computers, cell phones, and the myriad of addictions that are slowly but surely snuffing out all our light.

Yes, “The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.” (Lao Tse, philosopher) But that was never followed up with, “So hurry up and get crackin’.” Maybe the first step is a step backward, or a step down, or an unsteady, unsure step. It’s okay to not know what you’re doing here and now. It’s actually more than okay, it’s perfect. “Be patient toward all that is unsolved in your heart and try to love the questions themselves, like locked rooms and like books that are now written in a very foreign tongue. Do not now seek the answers, which cannot be given you because you would not be able to live them. And the point is, to live everything. Live the questions now. Perhaps you will then gradually, without noticing it, live along some distant day into the answer.” (Rainier Maria Rilke, poet)

We weren’t born into these bodies in these lifetimes to have all the answers. We came here to learn and experience and grow. So maybe, just for now, don’t swim against the current, or try to solve the puzzle of your life. Maybe the answer is much easier and simpler. Like, “Take rest; a field that has rested gives a bountiful crop.” (Ovid, poet)

Photo credit: Richard Hume

Find Your Purpose By Following Your Heart

The animal loving, totally bohemian, so very emotional Cancer in me somehow managed to ignore my inner purring instincts and chose a fast-paced career that was completely ill suited for me. I went straight from college, to law school, to a big New York corporate law firm. I could only describe my career at a law firm as feeling like I was walking in someone else’s shoes, stiff plastic shoes that didn’t fit me at all.

Every morning I’d wake up and feel a pit in my stomach because I knew I’d have to put those blasted shoes back on. They weren’t my size or my style. And then I’d kick myself because my shiny plastic shoes were fancy, and those suckers were expensive! It was a constant battle: me versus the shoes, day in and day out for six years. I was proud of my law degree, but damn those shoes hurt.

Looking back now, I realize where I went wrong. I had never really taken the time to get to know a very important person in my life: Me. I was doing what I thought would make people proud of me. I was aiming for a status symbol instead of a soul fulfilling, identity-fitting, rock-my-inner-girl, running-through-the-woods-barefoot kinda purpose. I was not being true to myself.

About four years into my law firm life, I decided I’d start dating myself. Me and myself started off slowly: a day volunteering at an animal shelter here, a photography class there, a horseback ride here, a Spanish class there, a dog adoption. It was sweet. I courted my passionate side; I seduced my creative side. Soon I was discovering I might even have an activist side. Before I knew it, I was falling in love. The emptiness in my plastic shoe wearing soul started to feel some sparks.

As me and myself started to become one, clarity came with the speed of a sucker punch. I wanted to devote my life to animals. I wanted to make a difference. I didn’t want to negotiate commercial bank leases any more. But I had a whole lotta loans to pay and no clue how to jump my life train onto a different track.

Not too long later, I began planning my wedding and honeymoon. It was the first time we were taking two whole weeks off, and I didn’t want any ordinary vacation. I convinced my husband that we needed to volunteer with rescued elephants in Thailand. And so we did, for half of our trip anyway.

The week we spent at the elephant sanctuary was quite possibly the best week of our lives. I felt more alive and inspired in that one week than I had in the previous six years at my firm. My spark was “en fuego!” But I also learned the horrifying realities elephants face in the name of tourism. An unimaginable degree of abuse is behind the elephant rides, performances and paintings, which tourists find so entertaining but often know nothing about.

From that trip my dream was formed. I wanted to create a travel company that helped people go abroad to help animals and educated people on both the tourist activities they should avoid and the responsible ones they should engage in. A few months later – after the bubble burst and the economy crashed – getting laid off allowed me to work on just that. I handed in my overpriced plastic shoes and said goodbye to my blisters. From now on, I was gonna do me, and “me” was all about the animals.

It can be so painful to learn about the endless things we inflict on animals for our own, often superficial, pleasures. I wanted to challenge people to put animals above those superficial interests, because they deserve at least that much. There are so many ways to help animals and doing so during your travels can transform an ordinary vacation into the experience of a lifetime.

Instead of learning about animals through zoos, theme parks or circuses, learn about them through volunteer work. Instead of seeing them in unnatural environments like cages or tanks, see them on safari in the wild. While you’re at it, help your health, the environment and the animals by indulging in some yummy vegan dining. More and more vegan restaurants are popping up all over the world! We as tourists, as consumers, as humane people, hold an enormous amount of power, and that power can be exercised in every choice we make.

I don’t know why it took me so long to give this passion of mine the acknowledgment and respect it deserves. All I know is that I’m grateful I had a job that forced me to really figure me out. Now it all seems so painfully obvious. I’ve always felt a special connection to animals. As a child, I was extremely shy, but when I looked into the eyes of an animal I felt a sense of peace, acceptance and understanding that I didn’t always feel as easily with people. Animals were always in my life, so perhaps I took that connection for granted not realizing how truly valuable that part of my identity was.

One thing I’ve learned from my journey is that we all have a unique set of gifts and passions that give us our purpose in life. When you’re not being true to yourself, you’ll never have inner peace – your feet will always hurt when you’re trying to walk in someone else’s shoes.

Once you start living in accordance with your true self, the pieces of your life will fall together. Even things that appear to have nothing to do with each other will suddenly fit together like a puzzle. The Spanish and photography classes I took before even coming up with the idea for my company were the two things that helped me the most when I traveled to South America to scout out volunteer organizations. I’ve always loved travel, but ironically it’s the transactional skills I acquired as an attorney that are perfect for arranging itineraries abroad. When you’re true to yourself, suddenly all of your skills and interests work together as one big happy whole.

Once I started following my heart, I found my purpose, and now my faux leather vegan boots fit me perfectly. How do your shoes fit?

Liz Longacre is the founder of Your Time Travels, a travel company for animal lovers. Whether you want to volunteer abroad, go on safari, enjoy amazing vegetarian/vegan resorts, or travel with your own adorable pets, her company can get you there! Visit her blog here.

In Defense of Intense

I was born a month premature because I had better things to do than sit in a womb all day and waste my time. True story. Although to be clear, my impatience – a quality I’ve yet to outgrow – was not without grand repercussions. In my haste, I arrived in this world “sunny side up” and developed transient tachypnea – a fancy term for rapid breathing caused by an abundance of fluid in the lungs. The punishment? Ten days in an incubator and two very frightened parents – a steep price to pay for a guy who’d only been alive a couple minutes. Still, that measly slap on the wrist wasn’t about to dent my budding precocious spirit or weaken the ever-growing tenacity that was already coursing its way through my veins. It only encouraged me.

The story goes that when the nurse took me from my mother, I closed my eyes in adamant protest. For the next ten days, I laid in that stuffy plastic box with eyes permanently shut, willfully denying what I considered to be unfair treatment. Finally, more than a week later, I was returned to my mother’s arms and only then did I allow my pupils to bask again in the brisk rays of the fluorescent hospital light. Sweet victory was mine! The nurses all agreed: this baby was going to be intense.

Since those first ten days, I’ve been called that seven-letter word more times than I could possibly count. For most of my life I viewed this accusation as a negative and would justly argue the claim. (Word to the wise: Intensely debating your lack of intensity only makes you appear more intense). The truth is that I never found myself to be particularly intense; I still don’t. But my friends do. And the women I date do. And the people I work for and with do. So, based on unanimous feedback from just about everyone, I eventually made the conscious choice to not only accept this word, but to embrace it with the kind of unmitigated fervor that only the truly intense know. Still, that doesn’t mean it’s always easy.

In this current “age of cool,” casual nonchalance is far more socially acceptable than ardent ferocity. In a society that too often rewards passivity, vibrant boldness is not always appreciated. One glaring example of said prejudice is the famous Tom Cruise Scientology video that made it’s way around the Internet just a few years ago.

While discussing how Scientology can help relieve many cultural challenges (Author’s note: I have no affiliation with Scientology), Cruise says with laser beam focus, “Look I wish the world was a different place. I’d like to go on vacation … but I can’t. Because I know … I have to do something about it … because I can’t live with myself if I don’t and that really is it. I don’t care if someone thinks it’s hard or easy. You’re either helping and contributing everything you can, or you’re not.”

There’s no question that Cruise’s performance makes him look, well, sort of crazy (the driving music and overdramatic voiceover doesn’t help either), but his words are right on point. So why did the overzealous delivery upstage the message? I’ll give you a clue: It’s the same reason Howard Dean lost the primary in 2004. The most important part of intensity is learning how to accurately adjust one’s internal barometer to effectively achieve the desired results.

My good friend is the parent of a young child who’s constantly getting into trouble at school. The teachers say he’s too rambunctious, overly excitable and unable to stay quiet in class. Sound familiar? After one particular outburst where he lashed out at a student who’d pushed another student off the slide, I sat down and had a word with him.

I explained that being outspoken and passionate (regular symptoms of intensity) is like having a really special superpower. And like all good heroes, one must learn how and when to use their gift. If the Green Lantern just randomly went around blasting rays of energy all over the place, he’d end up doing more hard than good.

I suggested he keep a “Superhero Log” (a journal), and write down all the situations that sparked those intense feelings. Later, he could go through the log with his parents (we called this “Superhero Debriefing”) and learn better ways to channel his energy. He loved the idea and is now an avid journal writer. What’s more, he’s learning how to refine his intensity to create better results for everyone.

While it took me over 20 years to accept this characteristic about myself, today it’s the quality I most value. Intensity is what drives movements and inspires innovation. It’s the battery in the timepiece of progress and has the power, if used correctly, to legitimately help make the world a better place. Gandhi was intense. Martin Luther King was intense. Bill Clinton is intense.

So the next time somebody points out your intensity as a negative, simply jot it down in your Superhero Journal, adjust your internal barometer, and keep going strong. I promise you this, my friends, intensity always wins the day. Always.