5 Tips For How To Be Spiritual About Your Money

Money always has two frames of reference: the big, all-encompassing world and the individual, YOU-specific version. Neither version gives us the information we need to have a successful relationship with our money, because both shift the discussion to blame and doubt, rather than promote financial peace and balance.

How much does it matter what is really going on “out there?” We might grumble, “the economy did this to us,” but that is an abstract villain — everything that happens in the economy is caused by humans. The economy and government are groups of human beings. We can choose to see ourselves as victims of a dehumanized system, or acknowledge that we live in a society where stuff goes wrong ,and we can participate in setting things right.

Once we quit blaming the external environment, then we tend to blame themselves. We move to self-condemnation and punishment for our poor financial decisions. But the blame game doesn’t absolve the individual any more effectively than it did the corporate and governmental entities that helped get us here. Blame doesn’t actually solve anything, and it doesn’t necessarily motivate us to higher awareness.

Bottom line, the situation that puts us in the least spiritual frame of mind is when we literally can’t pay our bills. This is the circumstance that gets the least attention because it’s also the scariest for most people to acknowledge. It’s not macro-environmental . . . it’s YOU. There’s no group to appeal to, no self-congratulations that you bought a purse at Target and not Coach; it’s fundamental, life-or-death, meeting basic needs. Immediate security is the issue.

The thing is, the scariest circumstance provides the greatest opportunity for spirituality. You don’t have the choice of thinking about things later because the problem is so immediate. You get to see, firsthand, how things can unfold when you quit looking outside of yourself for security. And you get to see how secure you can feel without doing a darn thing about the outside world.

The spiritual money journey is the choice to move beyond the fear. Every money circumstance in your life can be perceived from two places: the external world and the internal world. The external world is judgment, anger, blame, worry and a million other negative emotions. The internal world is comfort, support, forgiveness, hope and love. Here are some steps to get you there:

1. Name your fear. Get specific about fear and keeping drilling down. Once when I only had $50 in my bank account, I started panicking because I believed that I didn’t have enough money. So I got specific: For what don’t I have enough money? I discovered it was about groceries; I had enough until my next deposit for basic bills, but I thought I needed groceries for the weekend. So I drilled down further: Did I really need groceries? Come to find out, when I searched my cupboards, I had all of the makings for lasagna. Never let your non-specific worry or fear take hold of you without questioning it pretty thoroughly, because you’ll find that many times it’s completely unfounded.

2. Quit the comparison. You probably don’t want everything in Oprah’s life, but you might want some things. Use your desires to be a detective about yourself. What is it that is so attractive to me about having a beach house hideaway where I can have 12 people stay at a time? It’s the sense of gathering, community and retreat. How can I get that now and feel those things prior to (or instead of) getting a beach house? Your money power comes back the minute you realize you can have what you want BEFORE you get the thing you thought would bring it to you.

3. Support yourself. No one ever felt better about their money life by punishing and condemning themselves for past mistakes. In fact, you can’t BE spiritual at all until you’re ready to let past mistakes and decisions go. You have to forgive, and be hyper vigilant of that internal voice that tells you bad things about yourself. Every time you have a negative or punishing thought, ask yourself if your best friend would ever say that about you. And then be your own best friend.

4. Bring good energy. Once we dismiss the external world as the reason for not having what we want in the moment, we start to focus on the internal world of energy, emotion and thought. By the same token, we can bring that “internal world” energy to our external world dealings and start to bring the group mind into alignment with higher thought. When I had financial difficulties, I chose to bring positive energy to my dealings with creditors and found those interactions to be some of the most helpful and joyful of the entire ordeal. Imagine hanging up the phone after speaking to the IRS and smiling because the service rep was so darn nice to you! But I started it, with my intention.

5. Give yourself credit for the journey. When you make a choice to lose fear and behave more spiritually about money, it would be great if that once you made the choice, everything fell into place. But it doesn’t; you’ll have good days and bad, and you’ll experience fear and worry along the way. Just remember, you can never return to the place you started; even if you feel like you’re back-sliding, take comfort in the fact that you can never slide all the way back to ground zero. If you are persistent in returning to your choice to build your spirituality around money, you will attain higher levels, even if you can’t see the progress right away.

Money can be a challenging area to integrate into a spiritual practice because of all of the real-world repercussions of not having enough. But I promise, if you choose the spiritual path, you’ll see it’s also one of the most rewarding journeys you can take.

Mindy Crary, MBA, is a CFP® practitioner and financial coach who helps people become a lot more educated (never inundated) about not just money — but the whack job behind it. She offers free classes and spiritual money guidance on her website Creative Money.

Photo credit: Julie Falk

Safe Cosmetics: Five Tips for Frugal Shoppers

If you’ve kept up on the latest news about toxic chemicals in cosmetics, you may be wondering if it’s possible to find safe products without breaking the bank. The good news is, you can protect yourself from toxic exposures while saving money too – it just takes some creative accounting and a willingness to look at the big picture.

I like to think of money as energy, and I want to put my energy into creating the kind of world I want to live in. So I buy all my personal care products from companies I trust; companies that share my vision of a healthy world. These tend to be small, independently owned operations that don’t use air-brushed celebrities to hawk their toxic anti-aging creams.

All of us have the power every day to make a positive impact on the world by spending money in ways that advance our values and offsetting the cost by refusing to spend money on the things that don’t. In this way, I actually spend less money than I used to on products that are better for my health and the planet. Here’s how:

Less is more – Companies love to make us think we need a different lotion for every part of our bodies, a different cleaning product for every room in the house. Better to buy one high-quality, non-toxic product from a company you love. An advantage to getting to know your local manufacturers is that sometimes you can get a great discount! (Thanks Grateful Body!)

Bye-bye hair dye (and other expensive toxic stuff) – Hair dye, relaxers, perms: Anything that changes the shape and color of hair tends to be quite toxic chemically, not to mention messy and expensive. Giving up the hair dye saves hundreds of dollars a year, and this is where I save the most money. Sometimes I miss the highlights, but my theory is that most women actually look better with their natural hair color. (Check out my Bye Bye Hair Dye page on Facebook.)

Make your own – Coconut oil and sesame oil make great lotions, and baking soda and vinegar are excellent cleaning agents. Here are some cheap green cleaning recipes and ideas for making your own cosmetics. I also love these ideas from the Zero Waste Family lady.

Just say “No” – to gratuitous products that add unnecessary expense and chemical exposures to our lives: perfumes, body sprays, vaginal sprays, air fresheners, dryer sheets, bubble bath.… It feels great to discover how much we actually don’t need! And after taking a break from all these synthetic fragrances, you start to notice how gross they actually smell.

Get political – No matter how smart we shop, we can’t avoid toxic exposures as long as companies continue to pollute the environment with toxic stuff. So we need to get behind laws like the national Safe Cosmetics Act that will shift whole industries to safer products.

Extra bonus points: Save lots of cash by turning off the TV! How much do people spend on cable these days? I have no idea because I don’t even own a TV. Most shows I like run for free on the Internet without all the brainwashing ads that try to make me think it’s a good idea for the scent of laundry detergent to last for seven days!

For more savvy tips, visit Stacy at notjustaprettyface.com

Photo credit: eyeSPIVE

Bringing Sexy + Inner Beauty Back

Forget the champagne and lingerie. Women all around are finding a new way to look and feel sexy, and it’s called financial freedom.

What is financial freedom?

It’s not a “one size fits all” term. Financial freedom is removing YOUR financial barriers and healing YOUR relationship with money so you can choose the life YOU want. It’s about being in control, independent and rich on the inside and out. It’s about feeling confident and sexy.

Some women are in financial “prison,” carrying around a dirty little secret that they don’t have it all together. They walk around in a state of stress, fear and insecurity, hoping that their secret isn’t exposed.

When you get organized and gain control of your money, you will feel and look sexy.

You FEEL Sexy

No more freaking out that your partner is going to find out about all that debt you racked up during your wild college years. Gone are the days of letting your money stress come between you and your spouse’s quality time or sitting around waiting for Prince Charming to rescue your bank account.

You will choose your relationships for the right reasons and approach them feeling powerful and independent – two very sexy qualities.

When you gain control of your finances, you start to feel better on the inside. You make better, mindful choices and your inner beauty and sexiness shine through.

Feeling sexy isn’t about putting on more lipstick or showing extra cleavage. Feeling sexy is the confidence that you have taken full responsibility for your life and knowing that you can have it all.

You LOOK Sexy

Don’t you love the feeling of looking feminine and sexy?

It’s difficult when we poison our beautiful bodies with financial stress. It destroys our relationships, drains our energy, weakens our immune system and ages our beautiful skin.

When you’re organized, in control and choosing how you spend your money, you relieve stress. You start to look better because less stress means fewer wrinkles.

When you heal your relationship with money, you live in a place of financial peace. Your relationships will improve, you’ll have more sex, dress better, eat healthier and look sexier.

Your true, authentic beauty comes out because you are no longer clouded with money noise.

Financial Freedom Tip #1: Fixing Your “Money Mishaps”

Write out anything you view as a “money mistake” that you don’t want your partner or future partner to know about. Under each “money mistake,” write one thing you can do immediately to improve your situation.

For example, maybe you have excessive credit card debt. Your action step could be hiding or freezing your credit cards until they’re paid off to keep yourself from racking up any more debt.

Financial Freedom Tip #2: Shut Down Your Money Noise

Stop the stress! Simplify and streamline your accounts. There’s no reason to have four different checking and savings accounts. It’s difficult to keep track of and can be overwhelming.

Automate your bills and savings so you have less to think about. You’ll also avoid late fees, writing checks, stamps, and licking nasty envelopes.

Schedule 15 minutes a week to have a date with your money.

Financial Freedom Tip #3: Create a Pleasurable Spending Plan

NOT a strict budget that’s going to drive you crazy that you’ll never follow. After you automate your bills and spending, what do you have left?

Take the leftover money and choose how you want to spend it. Let it be something that’s going to bring pleasure and add value to your life.

For example, a facial at your favorite spa instead of buying three new shirts that you don’t need and will hang in your closet with the tags on. Or plan a dinner date with your best girlfriend instead of spending money every day at lunch on dry sandwich that you really don’t care about.

When you’re trying to reach a financial goal and feel true financial freedom, this will keep you from overspending or feeling deprived.

Are you ready to bring your confidence, sexy and inner beauty back?

Karie Hill is a financial freedom coach for women. She focuses on removing financial barriers and healing relationships with money from the inside out.

Photo credit: massaimara

Turn Your Financial Fear Into Financial Freedom

When you think about your finances, what word immediately jumps into your mind? What feeling do you get in your body? What visuals do you see? Does money have the power to constrict you?

Recent studies confirm that financial distress remains the top stressor in Americans’ lives and is the number one reason for marital discord. As a therapist in New York City for 14 years, I have learned that having money does not necessarily equate to achieving happiness. In fact, many of my more privileged clients have major issues with money that create guilt, dependency, low self-esteem and an array of other issues. Money in family relationships is never as simple as dollars and cents. It can be used to love, punish, control and reward. The financial culture in your family has informed all of your financial choices.

The first step to decoding your relationship to money is to understand your financial culture. You have a blueprint of “How It Really Is,” according to your family of origin, which was downloaded into your subconscious mind as a child. I use the term “blueprint” because your internal financial belief system is like the architectural blueprint for a house … that someone else designed. If you came from a culture of financial fear and lack, you may pinch your pennies, be wary of investing and, regardless of how much money you save, still feel there will never be enough. However, just like the architectural blueprint, you can change your mind’s framework. If you want to move from the fear of financial lack into the freedom of financial abundance, the first step is to understand your current blueprint and what you can do to change it. Answer the questions below to gain clarity.

• What was your family culture about money?
• Who controlled the finances?
• Was money used as a reward?
• Was money withheld as a punishment?
• As a child, did you worry about money?
• Were your basic needs met?
• Did your parents fight about money?
• What were you taught about money from your parents or caregivers?
• Was there an open or closed dialogue about money in your home?
• Did your family consider themselves wealthy, middle class or poor?

Take time to really marinate on your answers and allow yourself to dig deep and really feel what the financial climate was like growing up. Once you write down your answers, you will gain insight into your downloaded money myths.

The second step in creating a healthier relationship to money is to realize that there is no “reality” about abundance. Your parents taught you what they did and that became your reality about money. That does not make it reality or a permanent belief. Many parents pass their money fears down to children thinking they are protecting or preparing them for “the way it is.” The way it was for your parents does not have to be the way it is for you. Family systems that teach children money-management skills, a strong work ethic and concrete tools create a more abundant blueprint. Financial fear creates constriction around money. Since we are all made up of energy, feelings of constriction block your flow of abundance and cloud your ability to see potential opportunities for financial gain.

So if you don’t like what you have discovered about your inherited money blueprint, fear not. The best news is that you have the power right now to re-draw it.

Below are the first action steps for your New and Improved Money Blueprint.

Be Here Now. By creating the ability to be present in your life, you create the opening to catch the fearful thought before it gets filed in the “reality” bin. The only way to change ingrained thought patterns is to be aware enough, in the present moment, to stop and change the thought. You can achieve this through breathing exercises, daily meditation and awareness. Changing anything on purpose is almost impossible if you don’t have internal stillness and silence daily. You need to slow down enough to become the observer of your thoughts, to sort through them and figure out which are fear-based and not serving your purpose and which are opportunities for you to create the life of your dreams.

Words Have Wings. Be aware of the way you talk about money and change all of the language that is not in line with your goals. Use positive words of abundance instead of negative words of fear and scarcity. Change “We have to pay off debt” to “Our abundance flows with ease.” We create change with the words we use, the thoughts we hold in our mind and the feelings they inspire.

Manifesting Nightly Ritual. As the last thing you do before you fall asleep, take time to think about what you want to create in your financial life and conjure the feelings of having it. Then release it (don’t hold onto those feelings or begin to worry about how you’re going to become wealthy, debt-free, etc.) and doze off into la-la land.

Seeing is Believing. Create a vision and feeling board of what you want in your life. Look at the board a few times a day and engage all of your senses to create the full experience of actually having what is on the board.

Changing your mind about anything is work. The realization that you can change your mind and your fiscal lot in life is the start. This is not magical thinking, but science. New neural pathways are formed in your brain as you change your habitual thoughts, language and feelings from fear to freedom. So quiet your doubting mind, try something new and see what transpires.

There are a plethora of other factors that go into the psychology of money and abundance. If you believe that your financial dysfunction is too deep for you to negotiate on your own, find a good psychotherapist to guide you on this journey.

Whether you go it alone or hire a professional, trust me, changing your mind is the first step to transforming money fear into money freedom.

For more on living fearless and free, visit terricole.com.

Photo credit: Don Buciak II

Your Fascinating Relationship with Money: How Healing Your Finances Can Heal Your Life

Money is at the core of our fears and anxieties. As an individual, family, country and world, it affects us on every level, among people of all races and economic backgrounds. We all have a “money story” that begins in our childhood and continues into our adult life in the form of a love/hate dysfunctional relationship. It is one of the top stressors and can destroy our relationships, self-esteem and health.

• “I can’t lose weight because healthy food is too expensive.” We continue to abuse our bodies and health.
• “I can’t start this business because I can’t afford to leave my job (where I’m overworked and drained).” We stay in jobs that no longer serve us.
• “I have to stay in this relationship because I can’t afford to leave.” Our children continue to be brought up in unhealthy homes.
• “I can’t go on vacation because I don’t have any money.” We use money stress to keep us from really experiencing life.

Take a look at your life. Do you feel abundant, peaceful and in control? Are your relationships calm, happy, effortless? Or do you feel anxious, out of control and in denial? Now take a look at your financial life. Do you see similarities? The state of our finances is often a direct reflection of the state of our lives. How do you want your life to look?

There is a common misperception that gaining control of our finances means sacrifice, restriction and pain. In reality, gaining control and healing our relationship with money means freedom, control and peace.

Everywhere you turn there is fear. Fear of another recession, home foreclosures, a stock market crash. We have to stop perpetuating the fear and start creating healthy habits. Think of how our world would look if each person made their financial house a priority and really lived their best life. Imagine the lives that would change and the families that would be saved. It has to begin with each of us. With these four steps, begin the process of healing your relationship with money. Be a part of a greater change in the world.

Forgive
The first step in healing any relationship is forgiveness. If you feel like you have made any money mistakes, write them down all down on a piece of paper. Take a moment to breathe and truly forgive yourself. Know that whatever pain you’re feeling isn’t permanent. Take the piece of paper and shred it. It’s time to start fresh and look view your world from a place of peace and abundance.

Choose
Now that you’re ready to start fresh, it’s time to choose the kind of life you want to live and let money be the tool to get you there. Think about what you really want your life to look like. Where do you want to live and work; what kind of food do you want to nourish your body; how you want your relationships to make you feel? What does your best life look like? Decide, and let money be just a tool to get you there.

Act
Write down two things that you are going to start doing immediately to get you closer to your desired life. For example, I will start paying attention to how I spend my money. Conscious spending is all about matching your values (desired life) with your actions. Decide exactly what you’re going to do to start paying better attention, and write it out.

Witness
Witness your life change. Take notice of how you feel – less stressed, less strain between you and your partner, increase energy, more clarity. When you get rid of your money noise, your life starts to open up.

“Be the change you want to see in the world.” – Gandhi

Karie Hill is a financial freedom coach for women. She focuses on removing financial barriers and healing relationships with money from the inside out.