How to be a Manifesting Maven

We are always manifesting. Each thought we have creates an energy flow within and around our physical being. This energy attracts its likeness. So if you’re thinking, “I suck,” then your energy kinda, well, sucks–and you attract sucky experiences.

The opposite experience occurs when you think high-level thoughts like, “I rock!” When you think and feel, “I rock,” you exude an energy of confidence and in turn attract great experiences into your life. Each thought you have informs your energy, and your energy manifests into your experiences. Your thoughts and energy create your reality.

Manifesting Mishaps
Manifestation has become a buzzword lately. Though it’s totally awesome that the Law of Attraction is now trendy, it also can be a bit misleading for folks who are unwilling to do the heavy lifting. If you truly want to use your energetic power to manifest greatness, you must clear all that blocks you from believing in your greatness.

“A Course in Miracles” teaches that on some level, you’ve asked for everything that happens in your life. Your intentions create your reality. There’s no need to beat yourself up: simply recognizing how your low-level thoughts negatively affect your life is the first powerful step toward changing your experiences. Begin your manifesting process by getting honest about how your low-level thoughts, energy and feelings of disbelief block you from receiving what you desire. Once you get clear about the blocks, you can begin to clean them up to clear space for positive manifestations to occur.

Many people, when trying to manifest, focus too much on the outside form rather than the internal condition. From A Course in Miracles’ perspective, what’s important is our internal experience: whether we choose to experience love or fear. When we commit to our internal experience of love, we begin to attract more love. Many people approach manifestation from a place of “How can I get something to feel better?” Instead, the focus should be: “How can I feel better and therefore be an energetic match for attracting more greatness into my life?” The emphasis must be placed on healing the internal condition, not getting a hot new car or boyfriend.

The Five Principles for Manifesting Your Desires
Below are my five key principles for genuine manifesting. When practicing these steps, make sure to stay committed to the goal of feeling good first and attracting stuff second. Continue to remind yourself that when you feel good you energetically attract goodness into your life. When your primary function is to be happy, then whatever comes to you is irrelevant. Happiness is your true manifestation.

Principle One: Clear Space
Before you begin the manifestation process you must take the necessary time to release all your disbelief in your power to be happy. One of the best ways to clear the blocks of disbelief is to pray for release. Begin a daily prayer practice of asking the Universe to set you free from all the limiting beliefs that block you from believing in your greatness. Stay open for signs from the Universe and show up for the assignments that are brought to you. Universal assignments come in many forms. Maybe you’re guided to the relationship that brings up all your shit so that you have to finally heal your fear. Or maybe you lose your job so that you can learn the lessons of self-reliance and strengthen your self-love. Trust that these assignments, however tough at times, are incredible opportunities for you to clean your energy and clear space to call in what you desire.

Your job in this step is to pray for guidance to clear all that blocks you from believing in your greatness. Then allow the Universe to help guide you to whatever assignments you need to aid in the healing process. Show up for the assignments and trust that the more you clean your thoughts and energy, the more positive experiences you will attract into your life.

Principle Two: Get Clear
Clarity is king when it comes to manifesting your desires. You must have clear intentions for what you want to call in–otherwise you can manifest a lot of what you don’t want. Focus on what you desire and then make a list of all that goes along with it. If you’re getting clear about the job you want, make a list of all the things about the job that make you happy: the office, the people, the salary, etc. Be unapologetic about what you want. This list helps you clarify your intentions and access a vibrant mental picture of what you desire.

The most important part of this step is to clarify how you want to feel. When you get clear on how you want to feel, you can begin to access that feeling. That feeling is what makes the manifestation come into form. You can write a thousand lists and make a million vision boards, but if you don’t clearly feel what you want to experience, it will never truly manifest into form.

Principle Three: Think It, Feel It, Believe It!
Now let’s put these steps together. Take your clear intention and spend time every day sitting in the feeling of what it is that you desire. You might access the feeling through meditation and visioning exercises. Or call on the feeling when you’re in nature or doing a form of exercise you love. Let the thought inform the feeling and let the feeling take over your energy. The more you feel the feeling of what you desire, the more you believe it is on the way. From a metaphysical perspective, if you believe it then it is already here. So make time for contemplating, thinking, feeling and believing.

Principle Four: Chill!
The next step is crucial to the manifestation process. In order to truly manifest your desires into form, you gotta chill out! A Course in Miracles teaches: “Those who are certain of the outcome can afford to wait and wait without anxiety.” Take this message with you and allow your faithfulness to guide you into the belief that what you desire is on the way. Also trust that the Universe has a much better plan than you do. Though you are clear about what you want, you cannot control the timing or the form in which it comes. Stay calm, relax and trust that the Universe has your back!

Principle Five: Know the Universe Has Your Back
When you’re in the know you’re deliberate about what you want. When you’re in the know you no longer vibrate energy of fear or disbelief. You just know. As your disbelief wilts away, wanting is replaced by knowing. Getting into the know happens naturally. When you diligently practice steps one through four, you will clean house, get clear and feel happier. This process is healing and powerful, and it leads to a deep inner knowing that you are right where you need to be. Accepting your greatness in this moment, right now, is what manifests more greatness. Being in the know helps you accept that you already are living in your desired manifestation. When you feel it, you live it–regardless of what is happening on the outside. In time, the Universe catches up with your energy and your desires come into form. This process of allowing the manifestation to follow your internal faith is the true process of co-creation.

Stay Committed to Happiness
Stay committed to this five-step process and trust that you’re exactly where you need to be. Is your main desire to feel good? Trust you will be given everything you need to create that feeling. Know that feeling good is the true manifestation–and everything else is the icing on the already delicious cake!

Do you want to deepen your understanding of the manifestation process? Join Gabrielle Bernstein on April 27 in NYC and Livestream video for my awesome Manifest Your Desires lecture. Get the details: http://gabbyb.tv/manifest-your-desires-lecture

Photo credit: Walt Jabsco

The Key to Manifesting Your Dreams

I’m obsessed with personal growth and have spent my life devouring everything I could get my hands on regarding how to make dreams come true, all the way to becoming a Handel Life Coach and running the life coaching arm of The Handel Group for the last four years. Many teachers of the Law of Attraction would lead you to believe that whatever you can see in your mind’s eye and concentrate on, you can have. But I have found, it is not that simple.

The truth of the metaphysics behind the Law of Attraction is that what you can feel, you can attract; what you resonate consistently with, is who you are, and you attract accordingly. Also, when you become clear about what you want, you become more likely to see signs pointed towards it and can more quickly draw yourself and it together.

But, there is a lot more “fine print” they don’t tell you.

Personal integrity (aligning your heart, your mind and your actions) is actually the foundation of being able to manifest that which you desire. To have that thing/experience you desire, you have to believe you and it belong together. How do you learn to believe? Not easy, right? Think of all that’s in the way of you believing in having:

-A beautiful body that you honor consistently.

-Deep, true lasting love.

-An amazingly successful and easeful career.

-Abiding self-love.

What’s between you and your dream is all your past experiences and choices and how they impact you, not to mention your constant inner dialogue filled with worries, detractions, reminders of your (or another’s) inadequacies, and general brattiness.

So how can you quiet your mistrust of yourself and your noisy mind? There are many ways, but the best is to develop personal integrity, which means living according to your ideals. It means doing what you said you’d do. It means making and keeping promises (this is the exercise that builds the muscle). It means lining up your heart, mind and body.

Whatever your dream is, it is the law of attraction that will determine how quickly you achieve that dream (how much do you resonate with it?). If you want to use the law to your advantage, develop personal integrity. Here are a few steps to get started:

Step 1: Articulate your dream. Dare to feel it and share it even if you don’t believe it yet.

Example: I live in a warrior’s body: strong, proud and free to experience all of life’s pleasures.

Step 2: Write out your internal dialogue about why you can’t or don’t have your dream yet. Then, analyze this for bad logic, excuses, skewed theories, unresolved past experiences, etc.

Example: I’ve never accomplished this in the past, nobody supports me, experts have told me certain things are impossible, etc.

Step 3: Undo the bad logic and skewed theories you uncovered in step 2.

Example: Try to find the flaws in your distorted thinking and replace negative thoughts with more positive ones. Be mindful of negative thoughts as they arise and question their validity.

Step 4: Make a list of promises that take you to your dream and keep them! Action makes you feel different.

Example: I will drink eight glasses of water every day, start the day with green juice, write a letter to my body apologizing for my crimes against it, etc. Tell supportive people about your dream, write up a plan, start asking for help and accountability.

Coaching begins with covering these steps in all the important areas of your life. You can see how this causes an enormous shift in how you think and act. Yes, how you feel impacts how you think and act. But how you think and act utterly impacts how you feel. The easiest access to changing your thoughts and feelings is acting in accordance with your dream. Lucky you, you can dive in and start doing that today.

One more recommendation:

Come play with Elena Brower and me for a daylong experience on the subject of raising your vibration. Yup, we’ll be “om-ing” and “saluting the sun,” but there is so much more.

Raise Your Vibration Urban Retreat

This one-day urban retreat is designed to raise your vibration and to give you practical techniques to live a happier, calmer and more inspired life. Imagine what your daily life would look like infused with (short) practices for self-awareness, self-love and manifesting your dreams. Every moment is an opportunity to raise your vibration and each one counts. Instead of waiting for your dreams to come to be happy, start being happy first and watch your dreams come, as a result.

This special retreat is led by two expert teachers: Elena Brower, founder of Virayoga, and Laurie Gerber, President of Handel Group Life Coaching. They have extensively practiced and taught the methods you will learn and they are prepared to hand over the whole bag of tools at once! Retreat includes: yoga, meditation, breathing, gratitude, heart opening, listening, writing exercises, getting freedom from your mind, how to have hard conversations and Law of Attraction practices.

November 6, 2010  2:00 pm – 9:00 pm at the Benjamin Hotel, 125 East 50^th Street, NYC

Learn more…

Laurie Gerber is the president of the private coaching division of The Handel Group, a corporate consulting and private coaching company that specializes in teaching personal integrity as the key to happiness.

Photo Credit: Dawn Huczek

When The Universe Plays Hard To Get

Jen Garam

I often think that the Universe needs a lot of help from me to move things along in the exact direction I would like them to go. And I comply by: doing, doing, worrying, stressing, obsessing, and then doing some more. This results in me being exhausted and frustrated without a lot to show for it, and what I like to call the, “I’m banging my head against a brick wall and it ^@$*^% hurts!” feeling.

After pushing very hard for a very long time with my business, I decided to use this past summer to take a step back. I had been too busy doing, to be mindful and deliberate about what direction I wanted my business and my writing to go in, so my goal was to do less, and see what clarity emerged from what I hoped would be (relative) stillness.

When I stopped adding endless items to my to-do list to keep myself busy and creating extra work for myself, and eased up on my tyrannical goals, little magical things started to happen, and there was movement where before there had only been that damn brick wall. Things didn’t unfold in the way I had anticipated, but I was pleasantly surprised by the unexpected ways they did. Many opportunities came to me once I stopped trying so hard, and one example is particularly relevant to this post…

Several months ago, a local writer told me that she had just been asked to write for this new blog called Hip Slope Mama, so I checked it out and thought, “I would like to write for this blog.” A few weeks later I saw a stack of Hip Slope Mama business cards in a Park Slope coffee shop so I threw one in my bag, and then forgot it was there and carried it around at the bottom of my bag for months. In June, my friend Hilary McHone mentioned that she had guest blogged for Hip Slope Mama and I thought again, “That is something I would like to do.”

A month later in mid-July, I checked my email and was surprised to find a message from Hip Slope Mama herself, who was responding to an old Craig’s List post about my writing classes for women. I was like: “I totally want to write for your site!” And so it unfolded, because I was holding an intention that this was something I would enjoy doing, without pushing to make it happen or being attached to the outcome.

Similarly, with dating, I wanted to do everything in my power to make it happen. These days it seems like online dating is the only form of dating there is, as everyone is too busy to meet someone in real-life circumstances, and too hurried to be relaxed and receptive enough to allow that. However, I quickly got frustrated and disappointed with online dating, and felt like I was just no good at it. When eHarmony promised to match me with men on “29 points of compatibility” and my inbox was flooded daily with men with whom I sensed zero compatibility, I wanted to take a very long nap. I pushed myself to keep trying, keep doing, and stay positive, but I kept coming up against that brick wall and getting a headache.

Until one morning, I woke up to the relieving realization that I have no idea how I’m going to meet Him. I don’t have to be the Best Online Dater of All-Time and make a relationship happen, and meeting someone is not entirely dependent upon my efforts, like, if I go on x (eHarmony dates) then my y (probability of meeting The One) will increase by z%. I can meet my one-day husband or at least boyfriend-with-long-term-potential through online dating, or in countless other ways, in the most random of places, at the most unexpected of times. To realize that there is a certain amount of surrender necessary, with a dash of trust and a twist of faith, took immense pressure off me.

I think that, in this way, the Universe plays hard to get. When you are coming at Life flailing about with all your action and activity and working hard to make it happen, what you want stays frustratingly out of reach, on the other side of that brick wall, which, who knows, you may actually be holding up with all your frantic efforts. When you take a step back, take a breath, and create some space, the Universe takes a step toward you to fill that space. You just have to stop racing around, be still, and let go enough to allow the wall between you and your goals and wishes to come tumbling down. You have to surrender and say to the Universe, “I have no idea how this is going to happen so I am going to stop chasing after You. It’s your move.”

Jennifer Garam is a Brooklyn-based writer whose writing has appeared on Health.com, The Huffington Post, DivineCaroline.com, the blog “Hip Slope Mama,” and in Interview magazine, and a yogini who has been practicing yoga for the past 11 years. As the founder of WRITEOUS CHICKS, she has created and taught writing workshops for women with an emphasis on personal growth, self-care, and having fun, and writes the blog “One Writeous Chick.”

Originally posted on Hip Slope Mama

Soul Mates

Martha Williams

The new year is upon us and full of possibilities. That was hard for me to imagine not too long ago, when I was single and wanting a boyfriend….feeling desperately single in my 20’s and 30’s and early 40’s. I had a great life in many ways, I just wanted someone to love and to love me. I barely let myself imagine ever being married to a wonderful man.

Fear not! This post has a happy ending, one filled with hope and possibility! I’m now 47 years old, and I got married for the first time last year, at age 46. See that? It is possible!

Here’s my story: I first heard about Tom, the man who would become my husband, from my cousin Kathrin, when I saw her in 2004 at my brother’s wedding. She had the feeling that Tom and I would be right for each other, and two years later, at her wedding, she introduced us. (The funny part was, Kathrin and Tom had dated for ten years, and his mother, brother, and sister were all at her wedding!) There was definitely a spark between us, but he went back to Maine, where he was living at the time, and I went back to Massachusetts.

After a month of exchanging e-mails, I invited Tom to Kripalu (a large yoga and holistic health center, where I work) for a yoga weekend. He’d never even taken a yoga class, but he was up for it, and I arranged for him to attend an introductory yoga program. I took a program on shamanism the same weekend, and we met up between program sessions for meals and attended an evening swing dance event together. We had a great time, but things were still a bit up in the air when he left. We kept e-mailing, though, and when I found out he was hosting a Christmas party, I sent him a message along the lines of, “What’s a girl got to do to get invited to your Christmas party?” Just writing that note was an indication that I was ready for this relationship in a way I had never been before. Typically I would wait for the guy to make the move, but this time I honored the commitment I had made to finding a partner. I stretched myself outside my comfort zone, and that made all the difference. Of course Tom sent me an invitation to the Christmas party right away, and when we met up that night, the sparks really started to fly. Eight months later, we were talking about getting engaged, and the next year, we were married.

I believe one of the biggest factors that allowed our relationship to develop with such ease and grace was the fact that I was in the place to receive it. When I met Tom, I had had a regular yoga practice for three years and had tried various alternate therapies, including chiropracty and a number of healing sessions with a shaman, and together these experiences had opened my heart, my mind, and my energy channels. I was in such a strong place mentally, physically, spiritually, emotionally, and energetically that I attracted love into my life.

Looking to find that special someone in 2010? Here are some tips that worked for me:

-Do what you can to be the best you can in body, mind and spirit. That could mean a regular yoga practice, a regular work-out routine at the gym, eating foods that are healthy and nourishing; get enough sleep at night, be mindful of what you feed your mind (avoid news programs, movies and books that focusing on fear, death, violence); and find time to be quiet each day, develop a consistent meditation practice, connect with others who share your view of life and why we’re here on this planet and develop that understanding through gatherings, reading and discuss.

-Engage in any number of alternate healing modalities: chiropracty, acupuncture, shamanic healing, bodywork, Reiki, etc to help clear blocked energy and open up your heart center to receive big love

-Get clear on the qualities of the person you want to share your heart and life with; write down the values that are important to you and that you want to share with that person; imagine the life you’d share with that person, right down to sharing a cup of tea or a meal with them. What would the conversation be like? What would you do on the weekends?

-Try out different rituals and exercises around loving and attracting love: volunteer at an animal shelter, soup kitchen or an after-school program; create a romance altar in your bedroom; write the history of your relationships with men, then burn it, sending prayers out to all the men in your life, past, present and future

-Focus on the kind of life you want to be living and do what you need to do make that happen: this could mean a job change, a new home, getting clear on whether or not the people you spend time with feed your soul or drain your energy, then there’s the healthy mind, body and spirit matter.

-Be gentle with yourself, have compassion for yourself, love yourself. Some of us need a therapist to help us understand how to make a shift in how we talk to ourselves; other healing modalities can help with this, too. It may be cliché but it’s oh so true that when we’re able to love ourselves our heart opens up to others and the love is so big and incredibly sweet.

Attracting a soul mate is about taking responsibility for yourself first, clarifying who you are and who you want to be with. It’s about being ready to bring the best of yourself into the world and into a relationship.

Good luck and big love in 2010!

Martha Williams, MSW, is a 47-year-old newlywed who drew on the practices of the law of attraction as well as a range of wellness and healing techniques, to create the opportunity for her soul mate to find her. A yoga teacher, she has worked for the Kripalu Center for Yoga and Health for five years and is leading the Soulmate Attraction workshop in January 2010.

New Year’s Resolutions: 10 for ’10

Holy Glitter – we made it through another decade! For me, it was the decade of diagnosis, rock bottom, a creative explosion, empowerment, marriage, the loss of cherished family members, the addition of Lola (the best rescue dog ever!), physical and emotional healing and a loving Crazy Sexy global community. So many lessons learned, so much gratitude felt. And yet I’m just getting started! That’s a fantastic and spooky feeling. Can you be a grown up while still growing up? I sure hope so.

With oodles of thoughts swirling through my head, it’s a perfect time to scribble some resolutions: 10 for 10 – I hope you join me. Yearly goals help set our inner coordinates so that we can sail into the warm sunshine.

Take some time and reflect on where you are, where you’re going and where you missed the mark in the past. Then grab a pen (and a bikini) and swan dive in.

Here goes…1-2-3…SPLASH!

1. Take a yearly honeymoon and do not talk about work.

2. Take a yearly trip with friends (no spouses allowed).

3. Meditate for 20 minutes in the morning and 20 minutes in the evening. If it’s good enough for the Beatles, it’s good enough for me!

4. Take guitar lessons and sing Neil Young songs.

5. Exercise please. The ass won’t take care of itself.

6. Therapy please. The head won’t take care of itself.

7. Watch more good films and less bad TV.

8. Start a manifestation posse, share secrets dreams and be held accountable.

9. Take a break from nutrition books and read delicious literature

10. Listen more; talk less and forgive, forgive, let go, forgive.

…Bonus resolution: Toss fear and smile. Money, health, career, love – they’re all there for the taking, but only if my hands are wide open. Fists suck!

There, that seems pretty doable. I often shoot too high and then splat. Can you really be an astronaut, the best chef ever, save every animal and solve global warming in 12 months? Oh, and have Madonna arms too? Maybe if I’m more realistic I’ll find a deeper happiness in the simple things. If I have extra energy, I’ll win an Emmy. If not: Fuck it.

Hmmm, I like this list a lot. In fact, I’m gonna keep it handy and check in with you from time to time. Buddies certainly help keep things on track.

One last thought before I close up shop for ‘09…

Go for it – don’t wait or procrastinate! And above all, don’t tofu chicken out! Life is moving at a fast clip…are you living it? Am I? Some of my nooks and crannies are still very junked up with stuff that holds me back. If you feel the same way then let’s do a little spring cleaning in January. That’s right, grab some Mrs. Meyer’s lavender scrub and get crazy sexy busy! I’ll bring the rags, you bring the tissues, the universe will bring the freedom.

Many blessings for an abundant and healthy New Year!
Kris