The Scale – PART 1

Hi LADIES! – And the few brave gents willing to put up with this post. LOL!

This week is National Eating Disorder Awareness Week. Wow, the government has given us the green light to vent! They are sooooo kind, doing such a great job too (massive sarcasm). So without further adieu, I give you a delicious rant on LBS….

The scale is a bunch of numbers that mean nothing and EVERYTHING. That pesky, dangerous box is a booby trap full of good and bad news math. I hate math, I hate the scale. When I was a bun-head ballerina I would weigh myself everyday and then punish or praise myself accordingly. On punishment days I’d yack. Tis true, tis pathetic, tis my history, a golden nugget that makes me wise and human. However, that BOX is just that, a small container to cage ourselves. Prison is not sexy. No matter how cool it looks in the movies, prison is not a place to voluntarily visit.

Food: We adore it, despise it, worship and pray over it, we obsess and curse the voodoo grip it has over us. Food is the worst and best kind of lovah. Just when we think we’ve got it all figured out, stress and/or an emotional poop pie welcomes a malaise that lulls us into a state of gluttony. Or does this just happen to me?

Back in my meat eating days I would speed through the drive-through dragging my scratched-up sage voice behind. “STOP! PLEASE! You’re gonna regret it!” she’d shout. “Fuck off you damn goody goody, I’m chowin’.” Been there? I’ll share another lovely reminder of the issues in my tissues. My recent scan was really good. HOWEVER, the scale barked numbers that I had never seen before. I KNOW, IT’S RIDCULOUS, but I couldn’t help but wonder how the heck this happen? Where was I when those LBS hijacked my temple? PS. No Deb, I’m not preggers. You are naughty.

How is it possible that I’m not perfect? I’ve spent 3.5 gazillion dollars on high quality therapy and people pay me for my thoughts. Even if I hid in a cave, wore a loincloth and tattered bra and meditated forever, there would still be times when I craved heroin and cupcakes. And guess what? Some days I have the damn cupcakes – heroin, not so much.

CanSer creates an enormous pile of stress in our lives. Most of us developed a bunch of eating issues long before the wake up call. Now canSer. The little “c” can make you feel like you have no more excuses. Yeah, OK, but the power struggle with food still exists – perhaps more than ever.

After much trial, error and Scream Fests (’03, ’04, ’05, ’06 – the reunion tour of ’07 and now ’08), this is what I know for sure: Eating is a source of comfort and happiness for everyone! When life is out of control the easiest thing to grab is a snack. Snacks and feedbags = control. When babies realize that they have control over what goes in and out of their bodies, all hell breaks loose. Like everything else, it’s a practice; it’s a life long compassionate experiment. I can’t amputate my problems, but I can work to get in front of them, to issue spot and see them coming a mile away. When the storm brews it’s a sign that I am out of balance. Ok, great revelation, but the damn storm is coming so what do you do? Prep yourself.

Hurricane Twinkie pig-out check list:

1. Junk OUT of my cabinets and fridge. I cannot be trusted.
2. Healthy snacks on hand, pre-cut/washed veggies and juice stuff prepped and ready in Tupperware containers.
3. Quick and easy side dishes ready and waiting to accessorize my big nightly salad. Rice pasta, quinoa, sweet potatoes, millet, soba noodles, garden burgers, hummus, Ezekiel bread, manna bread, etc.
4. Other staples, almond butter, tahini, nuts, oil cured nuts, great oils, hemps seeds, flax seeds, avocados, avocados, avocados…
5. Lots of yummy teas and lemon for my groovy lemonade which I sip constantly – (lemon, water, stevia).
6. Time carved out for smoothie/juice breaks.
7. A wee bit of fruit and a few healthy sweet treats (even though CanSer doesn’t like sugar, I do and I can’t always say NO).
8. A clean bathtub to hide in – with candles.
9. My rebounder OUT and ready for jumping.
10. A long walk ASAP.

The rains will pass, and when they do – get back on track. 80/20. Which for me means that I am raw till noon and then 80% of every meal I eat is raw and 20% is cooked. Better translated: Look at your plate and break it down like a pizza pie. 80% is salad and raw delight. 20% of the portion is your side dish. Make sense? PS. Dee had a great description of this on the last blog.

It’s easy to see the neglect and “bad” choices. It’s hard to see the good stuff, to pat ourselves on the back for our triumphs. Those “good” things contribute to our energy bank account. I guarantee that you are making more deposits than withdrawals. Lighten up (I’m speaking to myself too). This “raw/vegan/health thing” shouldn’t feel like prison or deprivation, there must be room for being human. As I recently said to a good pal, let’s focus less on our bodies and more on our perception of our bodies. Whoa. Aren’t we our harshest critics? Someone or something beat us up long ago. That moment has passed and yet we still carry the Louisville Slugger – and the scale.

For many of us, a healthy weight is not the one we’re constantly chasing. It’s the one we’re at when we say, “Oh, if I could just lose five or ten pounds . . .” When I stop criticizing my numbers I have more free head-space to make and consume better meals.

I feel better now. Thanks.

Peace and scale stomping,

Kris

PS. And while we’re at it, throw out the magazines that pollute our body image. They create what I call the seesaw effect. One week we’re too thin, the next, too fat. These magazines target and magnify the cellulite on unsuspecting vacationing celebrities. How dare she let down humanity! Let’s stop, drop and roll. When we judge miss starlet we’re measuring and judging ourselves. We’re contributing to goddess oppression. Free her!

More canSer faux pas’…

Hi Beloveds! Hi JENNIFER! :)

This is a quick mini post. I’m writing more Cancer Faux Pas’ in the companion book I am scribbling for you. Remember that funny blog I wrote about what to say when people say the darndest things? Well I’d love to include more of some the silly, crazy, dumb ass stuff people have uttered when they hear we have cancer. Any interest in contributing? Please note that if you post then that means you give us permission to use your story in the book. I will change your name of course! Clean up the typos too. Come on share! I’ll tell you if you tell me. LOL!

xo and giggles…
K

OK, here’s one from the new book – hot off the press – a little teaser for ya. That is if they let me print it! :)

“When I went on my book tour my publicist gave the local media and radio stations a list of acceptable prep questions. They were ready and so was I. Most of the interviewers tossed the page into the office shredder, but at least they hovered in the general direction of respectful. Of course there were a couple of cancer faux pas frontiers men who opened mouth and inserted foot or cheap high heel.

Example: A God awful early show in the middle of boon dock America. I show up and the host treats me like I have the plague. I fake sneeze in her direction just to make myself chuckle. Then I asked her to give me the heads up on what questions she would be asking me. The wench flat out said NO. Huh? Didn’t she want the interview to go smoothly? It wasn’t like I was asking her to cheat on her SAT’s. The crew mic’d me up and as the cameras rolled I began to sink in horror as she looked straight down the barrel of the lens with this tragic, car crash look on her face. “Wow, we’re here with Kris Carr, the author and filmmaker who bravely recorded her tragic life and possible death. Good morning Kris, how are you feeling dear?”

I wanted to stab her in the eye with a shrimp fork, to foam and cuss. I wanted to light her hair on fire with a can of Aqua Net and a Bic lighter flame thrower. Was she raised in a barn? Did she have a mother who taught her manners? You know, like elbows off the table, say please and thank you and don’t harass the cancer chick? I was trapped. Coifed and camera ready as they zoomed in on my victim close-up. I felt humiliated for catching cancer and for “bravely’ sharing my story with the world.
Just then, my sass kicked in. Oh no, not today Suzie. You are messin’ with the wrong babe and I can play dirty too bitch. “Wow, that was pretty fucking dramatic for 5 am don’t ya think? Good morning city X, how’s it hanging?” OK, so I didn’t say “fucking” OR how’s it hanging because I was afraid my publishers would tan my hide and did they spent a lot of money sending me on the bus-and-truck cancer tour. But damn I wanted to!

You might get slain but more than likely those incidents will be few and far between. Humor helps tremendously so do lies! Sometimes when I just don’t feel like telling people my story I pretend that I write about bees. Or that I make porn, that always shuts them up.”

PS. Depression post this weekend. We really must dish the blues. Right? Especially now that we’re stuck inside for the winter. XOXOX

I’m Back! News, catch up and let’s FAST!

Hi my divine loves and angels!

Sorry I dropped off the planet. I was in NYC for a week of meetings and magazine shoots, including the cover of Natural Health! Wow, what an experience, it was so cool and scary! We shot in beautiful apartment that is suppose to be mine (but sister, writing don’t pay for crystal chandeliers and baby grands – heck no). If you don’t already read this magazine you should check it out. They really put together wonderful information in a digestable way. I’ve been in the business for a long time but I never knew what went into shooting a over. There’s like 37 people standing behind the camera looking at you as you act “natural, vibrant, and big smile happy”. We’ll see, hopefully I pulled it off. They were so nice and caring which made it much easier for this non-model still camera shy gal. Overall it was a blast and ya’ll know that by the end of the shoot the crew was gathered round as I chatted about detoxing, 80/20, food combining, juicing and my favorite topic- ENEMAS AND COLONICS! LOL! A few of the stylists went running for the door. I bolted it. :)

But I digress, as you know I am writing the second book right now. It is a companion book filled with inspiration (I hope) and space for you to write and excavate your own tips – cause we all got ‘em. I am no different from you, I just wrote it first, now it will be your turn! But as I sit here gearing up to write I realize that I have strayed from my path. If you don’t walk the walk and talk the talk as a person in the “healing” arts well I just don’t like ya. It’s too easy to tell folks to do shit that’s wicked hard while you go and eat a ho-ho and sit your ass on the couch. Right? I could list a bunch of guru’s that are full of crap but this cancer cowgirl don’t roll like that!

How have I strayed and what’s the frikin’ game plan? Every morning I have a come to Jesus/Elvis with myself. I sit with my journal, spill the beans, wipe up the mess, reframe and refocus. Hippocrates was so amazing for me. I felt super cosmic unbelievable! But post sprout castle I have been slipping. I probably slip less than most but when you know how great your body can feel it’s hard not to groove in that dance space. I never skip my juice – no way, twice a day or bust! But I have been blowing off the wheatgrass, pretending I don’t know how to food combine and chowing down snacks that just don’t agree with me. Plus, I’ve been creating habits – bad news. What do I mean by that? Well, having 70% cacao dark chocolate every once in a while is not a habit. Having it daily is an addiction. Get it? Sugar and cancer should not tango on a regular basis! When you’re on the go it is harder to stay with the lifestyle. But when you are on the go that’s when you need it most. I know when I’m off because the symptoms creep up. Bloating, gas, constipation or diarrhea, bad breath, break outs, anxiety, irritability, stiffness, lower back pain, dry skin etc.

Let’s all check in…
How may of us are eating loads of sugar? Raise your hands.
How about juicing? Are you drinking your greens at least once a day?
Who among us is really commiting to food combining?
How’s that coffee treating ya?
Cheese? Tastes good doesn’t it?
Who is falling into fluffy loads oof bread?
And on and on….

I put food in the gross, good, great catagory. For example, raw organic goat cheese is the only cheese I will consume as it is free of casein and easier to digest. However, I still get bloated and crappy after eating it. I get bloated and crampy after eating wheat products as well. Gas hurts! And yet that bread looks sooo good. Worst if white bread, better is sprouted bread (ezekiel, manna) best is no bread (for me). If you really want to know what your body can and can’t handle, start to keep a food journal and write down how you feel after a you eat. It helps to eat simply (not absolutely everything at once) so you can truly tune in. Sugar make my head spacey and gives me anxiety. End of story. Too much grain makes my skin dry and flaky – coffee too. Coffee makes me smell! OIY! It’s true. Ewww. How about you?

We all know that detoxification is the key to recovery but how the heck do we manage it during the holiday season? One step at a time and one foot in front of the other dear ones. For me, my ruby step will begin with a one day fast this Sunday. Yup. Detoxification and juice fasting reduces the impact of accumulated stress and toxins on our overall health. When you fast you give your body a chance to heal by eliminating toxins, plus when your body isn’t focused on digestion it has more energy for repair. I have fasted for up to 21 days but I don’t recommend it for most cancer patients. One to three days is fine, more but only under supervision, and not if you are too weak or on treatment right now. Once we commit to eating a better diet we don’t need to fast like extreme warriors. Fasting once a week (like we do at Hippocrates) gives your body a chance to play catch up.

When we fast we still consume LOADS of nutrition. I do not recommend fasts with water and sugar (Master Cleanse), not for cancer patients. I drink lots of water with lemon, some herbal tea, and up to 8 green drinks (sunflower and pea sprouts, celery, cucumber, kale, romaine etc). Wheat grass twice a day, and a blended green soup at night (avocado, cucumber, celery, onion, garlic, kelp, fresh herbs, sprouts etc). I do an enema and wheat grass implant the day of and the day after. Your body dumps lots of toxins from your blood stream into your colon during a fast so it’s import to keep the channel open. And yes, you will need to be by the bathroom! This is why I choose to do 1-3 day fasts over the weekend.

What else is important during fasting and detoxification? Sweating! Sauna, exercise – like walking, yoga or rebounding, dry brushing and more… But those are the next posts.

xoxoxoo
K

PS. I noticed a recommendation for a book that suggests lots of fruit on the 80/20 diet (or 80/10/10 as the book suggests). I have this book, haven’t read it yet so I don’t know for sure, BUT if it does recommend lots of fruit sugar please note that this is not a diet for cancer patients. You should not be consuming more than 15% of your diet from fruit when you are healthy, less when you have cancer. Too much sugar and sugar feeds cancer. So please read the book with that in mind. Not all raw food diets are right for you. Raw foodists can be really heavy on the sweets and treats. Be sensible and listen to your body. Throwing your pancreas in a tail spin ain’t healing. Loving you Xo!

I am Grateful

Happy THANKSgiving magnificent community!

I woke up in a meditation about all the people and things I am grateful for today. My dreams of gratitude swirled like a summer storm blowing the tune of “everything’s gonna be alright”. Popped open my peepers and thought I’d host an electronic grace at our community table.

So how about we open a collective dialogue with the universe today. Yammer with YOUR god, goddess, Jesus, Buddha and/or Elvis. When I connect with a higher source I’m reminded of my sacred divinity. I chat (AKA pray) to set clear intensions and goals for the universe to work on. The universe loves that! Less stuff for it to figure out. A prayer of thanks works like a charm. As I mentioned in a previous blog, instead of “PLEASE MAKE IT GO AWAY NOW!” I say, “thank you for my perfect health, wealth and happiness”. My life is abundant NOW, my cup runs over and floods my inner ashram with emerald rivers of stamina, strength, spirit and AMEN.

Your brain is a complex radio station broadcasting thoughts, directions and vibrations to your cells. What frequency are you on? Is your DJ a hell’s angel or a minister? Think about this, how do you feel when you’re flooded with jealousy or worse..envy? Can’t eat, enraged, insecure? How about when you’re bursting with pure white light joy? The shape of these emotional states have an affect on your mind AND your body. Now, I’m not saying you have to be bliss boy/babe 24-7 and amputate negative emotions left and right. Impossible, we’re energy beings being human. Sometimes mad-sad-rage is the ticket to self preservation and liberation. Just notice the puss and send positive energy to the source of the pain.

Now for the fun part! Let’s breathe and say thanks for answered prayers as if they have already happened. Let’s broadcast healing thoughts to the universe like Dick Clark on american bandstand, or like when he rings in the new year with a disco ball dropping in Times Square and we all yeah hooray! And so it is….

I am so grateful that we humans woke up and came to our senses in protection of mama earth and all her wee ones. We realized that there is no separation and that our part equals the big picture whole.

I am grateful that we retracted our knives and instead chose to extend hands of peace to hold our brothers and sisters in the middle east.

I am grateful that money is silly and that real currency is exchanged with a smile.

I am grateful for parents who taught me I could do anything and a mom who believes in the transformative power of sock monkeys.

I am grateful for a husband who is my best friend.

I am grateful for in-laws that hold grandparent wisdom and notice the birds.

I am grateful that a feather on the ground is a sign that the universe just answered a prayer.

I am grateful for the opportunity to serve.

I am grateful for my friends and for the people I don’t like so much because I am temporarily still attached to simple thinking.

I am grateful for my kitty.

I am grateful for each of you, all the canser cowgirls and chaps who are seekers of truth, health and real deal happiness.

What are YOU grateful for? And so it is…..

Happy day.

Peace, veggies and turkey emancipation!
K

PS. Crazy Sexy Beth MD answered a bunch of questions on the last post so make sure to check it out. Feel free to continue the conversation on this one. XO!

Our first guest blogger! THE GRASS MAN!!!!

Hello Crazy Sexy Cancer world! Michael from Hippocrates here. When Kris asked me to write a blog for her peeps, I blushed, smiled and felt honored all at the same time. It would be my pleasure to inform people of GREENS and how amazing they are!

First of all, allow myself…to …introduce….myself. My name is Michael Bergonzi, Greenhouse / Expo Manager / Health Educator Director at Hippocrates Health Institute in West Palm Beach, FL for the past seven years. My career in the field of alternative health & wheatgrass began in San Diego, CA back in 1990. Growing grass for a living and not ending up in jail seemed like a pretty cool job! Ok, I’ll take it! Of course, the cost per one ounce is $1.00 rather than $350.00! =)

Most people now a days have at least heard of wheatgrass juice if not actually tasted it themselves from a juice bar or health food store. (There are always some people that enjoy drinking it, but no one ever hangs around those people!) The taste of wheatgrass is not always a pleasant one and we are told that it must be our bodies that are detoxing. However, that is not always the case. For example, as a wheatgrass grower, I would bring a tray of grass to the health food store, ready to juice. If they juiced it that day, it would not taste at all bitter or cause that nausea feeling. But, they choose instead to put it in the store window for a display for people to see it, and now it stays in the window for two more days in which the sun shines on it, which it should never. They haven’t watered it, which they should everyday, and now, that same sweet tasting wheatgrass has aged almost 80 years in two days. It’s kind of like people, the older it gets, the more bitter it becomes! =) Wheatgrass should be harvested when a second blade becomes visible, and then the entire tray needs to be cut at the same time. It may then be stored in the refrigerator for up to one week without losing it’s value and taste.

Let’s talk about the ‘greens’ on the planet Earth. First of all, everyone can agree that we, as humans, are mammals. Most of the mammals on this planet are living on leafy greens. In fact, we are one of the few mammals that still eat meat and the only mammal that cook our food. To say that protein only comes from eating meat is an uneducated statement. Sprouts, sprouted beans and GREENS are the best source of proteins for our bodies. Think about it on a bigger scale. How is it possible that most every mammal (and you all agreed that WE humans are mammals) can live on eating just leafy greens? Elk, moose, deer, giraffes, gorillas, elephants, horses, etc… and don’t forget the one that WE get most of our food here in the USA from, the COW!!! Ahhhhhhh… and here is the problem now a days. You see, in the past, when you lived on red meat and dairy products, in-directly you lived on GRASS. The cow was eating the grass; we were eating the cow. It just makes sense. We were getting the EARTH in our diets. But, today, that is NOT the case. Most cows are now trough fed, mostly grains, which are making their systems too acid base, and are having to be shot full of antibiotics, steroids and of course hormones. They go over to the trough, eat as much as they can, and now want to take a nap because they are ‘full.’ (Ringing true to us as humans these days who drive through the fast food joint, meaning WE are being trough fed too! Staying full, getting tired and staying sick.) A cow taking a nap because it’s too full? Are you kidding me? So, the problem now is our red meat and dairy aren’t what they used to be. We are not getting the GRASS (green / earth) in our diet any longer. Look, I have been in this field now for 17 years, too long to judge anyone for what they choose to eat. I just want to educate people on “what’s simple is TRUE.” Get the Earth back in your diet, more oxygen back into your cells and exercise once a day. (yoga, walking, stretching, etc…)

OK. Is any of this making sense yet? Let’s go to the first thing your body needs to live. Before food, before water, you need OXYGEN!!! Everyone reading this, please pause for a moment and take a DEEP BREATH… Count to three on the inhale and three on the exhale. Wasn’t that good? Let’s face it, the only people that really focus on breath these days, unless you’re into yoga, thai-chi or meditation, are smokers! =( Personally, I smoked for 10 years, and I know why I felt the ‘need’ for a cigarette, because it would relax me. Exactly, what are you doing when you smoke? (You now have to leave your job and go outside the building. Amen to that law, so you get a bit of stress relief too.) You’re BREATHING DEEP, for the first time all day. I am NOT encouraging smoking, however, I am encouraging breathing. Try it without the “stick.” Walk away from people, your job, etc… and go somewhere, by yourself, and spend 5 minutes breathing deep. It’s amazing how much calmer you will be after doing this.

Now, let’s take a moment and go back to how ‘wheat’ grass came to light. A woman by the name of Ann Wigmore founded Hippocrates in Boston approx. 50 years ago. She actually healed her own health issues by chewing on ‘lawn’ grass. That’s right; I said lawn grass, not wheatgrass. She began chewing on it and got sick for many weeks, but stayed with it till she eventually started feeling better and better. She learned that the grass / greens were the most complete foods on the planet, as well as having other healing properties. The wheat seed was chosen because of its sweeter, more palatable taste. (Her cat picked it out.) She also learned that the green / chlorophyll will increase the hemoglobin in the blood which then distributes oxygen to every cell in our body. Take another deep breath! Remember that oxygen is a good thing? Ann started this because of watching the animals do it, as well as a statement that was made to her as a child, “Instinct guided creatures, left to them selves, do not make mistakes.” (I LOVE that one.) Most of us chewed on grass as children, if it was around. Why then and not now? We lost sight of our instinct. Here’s a FYI on oxygen content on the planet these days: 100 years ago, there was over 30% and now it is at an average of 15%. The most out there, if you live in a lush, green area, is 21%. However, in downtown major cities it is down to 9% or less. Does anyone remember ‘smog alerts’? I do, but not since 1990, when they stopped telling people. Fact: Oxygen in the cells means less chance for cancer to survive. GREENS = Chlorophyll = increased hemoglobin = more OXYGEN in your cells. GET IT NOW? Don’t forget, fresh wheatgrass juice is the best way to FEEL a difference. Drinking 2 ounces / day on an empty stomach is optimum.

In closing, remember these two simple words: “Stay Present.” More too come on GREENS and sprouted beans next month… Till then, yours in the greenhouse at Hippocrates Health Institute in West Palm Beach, FL, breathing in approx. 30% oxygen everyday, Michael Bergonzi

For questions on growing your own wheatgrass or sprouts, visit my personal website (which I am still working on improving) at www.hippocratesgreenhouse.com and send me an email anytime.

PS. Hi gang, it’s me Kris. Just so you know, Michael is the #1 grower of wheatgrass and sprouts in the country, maybe the world. His knowledge is vast. Michael created and perfected many of the greenhouses at the top healing centers. He is a transformative man (with a kick ass sense of humor) and he will be back for a visit soon! Thank you rock star Michael!!!!!!!!