By Guest Blogger on April 15, 2010

30 and Unemployed

By Sierra Brasher

I have spent the last 30 years viewing the world from a standing position and believing that my career was a definition of who I am. This false perception misled me to thinking that it’s okay to allow fear and anxiety to rule my world, as long as it is in the name of “success.” I recently read that pandas upend themselves into handstands to show their peers that they are bamboo-thrashing beasts, not to be messed with. I think the panda bears have the right idea. When your world seems upside down, just reverse your position and life starts looking right-side up.

The day I graduated from college, I lost the title of “journalism student” and immediately began seeking another title that would gain credibility and acceptance both amongst my peers and, more importantly, with myself. Seven years later, I have a multitude of titles that were gained as I explored various paths to redefine this lost identity. I have been a writer for a fashion magazine in Austin, an Olympic tour operator in Greece and Italy, a surfboard sales rep in Orange County and, most recently, a BizDev gal for a video production company. And while each of these careers has been a part of my random adventure, they have more often caused stress and anxiety than passion and enlightenment. Just recently, I had an epiphany while practicing an inversion posture in yoga: Work does not define me. And with that realization, I put in notice with my employer and started practicing more random acts of handstands.

I know what you’re thinking—who would quit a perfectly good (paying!) job in the given economy without having a backup plan? People warned me that I better have something lined up before I cut my only source of income. But those people obviously didn’t know me very well. You see, I’m an all or nothing kind of gal. I give everything I have to my career, whatever it might be at that given moment in my life. I can’t be filling my days with deadlines, conference calls and meetings if I’m going to do this right. This is about me, and I need to focus on the things that make me tick. So, yes, I quit my job in the entertainment industry to enter a new phase of my life called “What do I want to be when I grow up?”

Of course, being the neurotic control freak that I am, I knew that to remain sane and open-minded during my unemployment, I would need to follow some basic healthy rules to keep me mentally and physically balanced. What would I do with my days? How would I keep myself from dying of boredom? And most importantly, how could I ensure that I made the best use of this time?

I started my blog, 30 and Unemployed, as a way to chronicle the highs and lows of being jobless in Orange County. I have used my blog as motivation for myself (and others) to keep my head up (or upside down, in some cases) and my eyes open to the world around me. Living in Laguna Beach, I am fortunate to be surrounded by beauty and year-round perfect weather, which allows me to partake in so many amazing, free activities—like surfing, running on the beach and rock climbing. On any given day, the ocean calls my name and lures me to play in its waves, and there is no excuse why I shouldn’t give in to this temptation.

I vowed to do something each day that makes me happy. I’ve spent my whole life trying to squeeze in time for yoga or surfing, and now that I have all the free time in the world, I don’t want to lose sight of the little things that make me smile. These little stress-relieving activities are part of what I have named my Happy List. Though yoga has been a consistent part of my life for the past nine years, I often catch myself showing up to class and going through the movements, my mind everywhere except in the present. “Be present in yoga” is one of many to-dos on my Happy List.

Since quitting my job almost six weeks ago, I’ve started to view the world differently. I started working part-time as a family assistant to relieve some financial burden. Now that I know my job title does not define who I am, I go to work folding laundry and helping a thirteen-year-old with math homework with a smile on my face. This is only temporary, and it allows me the freedom to do what I want with my time. I’m happy, and that’s all that counts!

I’ve done at least one thing from my Happy List every day—some days, I do four or five! Before I quit my job, if you ever heard me say, “I cooked,” that meant that I had either A) made an almond butter and jelly sandwich or B) made some sort of weird low-carb veggie wrap with soy meat and goat cheese. But now that learning to cook is on my Happy List, I can say with all honesty that yesterday, I made Beet and Kale Penne Pasta—and that came after a day of surfing!

I have been writing as much as possible and incorporating yoga into my daily schedule. Random acts of handstands have become an all-too-familiar part of my new life. Taking a cue from the pandas, here I am, 30 and unemployed. I’m finally altering my viewpoint and taking charge of my life, showing the world that, I too, am not to be messed with!

Sierra Brasher, originally from Austin, is the founder of the 30 and Unemployed website. She recently quit her job in order to pursue her writing and is chronicling the highs and lows of unemployment in Orange County, California. You can join Sierra on her journey by visiting her website.

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By Elizabeth Castoria on February 19, 2010

Being Yourself

My mother, who has what some people refer to as an “alpha” personality (others might say “benevolently dictatorial”), was chatting with an acquaintance whom she’d met while volunteering. Mom runs the Commission on Disabilities in our county, and for the last year or so we’ve had the pleasure of referring to her as “the Commish.” Since she’s the boss (and a nice person), she’d invited her fellow commission members over for a social lunch. As they were talking, her friend interrupted her, saying that she was totally surprised and impressed that Mom is the same person at home that she is in meetings or at official commission functions. “Who did you expect?” she responded.

Being the same person no matter what the circumstances might seem like a given, but think of all the interactions during which you fulfill a role. Do you speak to your boss the same way you speak to your neighbor? Do you chat with friends the same way you talk with clients or your mother? While there are obvious reasons not to be exactly the same (you know, clients really don’t need to hear the nitty gritty of last night’s date), there’s a strength of character in being yourself, no matter who’s listening.

Think about these three situations and how you typically act in each:

Work. No matter what your job title, you have a role at work. Do you find yourself telling your boss that you love her pantsuit, even though the very word “pantsuit” makes you gag a little? Do you agree with creative decisions that you’d have set on fire if there’d been an incinerator handy, just to save yourself from having to come up with a new idea? It’s probably not a good idea to go blabbing about your weekend exploits, but neither is it a good policy to be someone other than yourself at work. Voicing your opinions, ideas, and personality honestly and politely will clear your work life of stress.

Home. It’s easier to be yourself in your own space, of course. But! Perhaps you should not be so much “yourself” at home. Taking a cue from your work life might just help things run smoother around the house. For example, you’d never snap at a coworker when you’re in a bad mood; that’s called a professional courtesy. Thinking of your personal relationships in the same way that you think of business relationships can be immensely beneficial. You keep your cool under pressure at work, and the people who share your personal life deserve the same consideration. By expressing yourself the same way at work and at home, you’ll be more authentic in your interactions in both places.

Everything else. Well, there’s a handy little umbrella term if there ever was one. But really, in whatever else you do, be you! Sharing yourself and your passions with the world in a real, honest way—whether you’re waiting for your favorite treadmill at the gym or chatting in line at the supermarket—makes each day more rewarding. Sometimes this can be a tricky arena for those of us who advocate for animals. There’s a fine line between sharing your vegan passion and berating the gal next to you on the bus about her ham sandwich. When your love of a cruelty-free lifestyle is a natural part of your personality, everyone you meet will have had a positive experience with a vegan (yep, that’s you!). Even though speaking up for animals can seem scary or rude, but it won’t come off that way unless you are a scary, rude person at heart.

Being true to yourself, your passions, and your values is just about the most liberating thing you can do for yourself, and you can do it anywhere, any time! Heck, you might even make your mom proud.

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