By Tama Kieves on November 14, 2011
Inspiration is an invitation to uncharted abundance. It’s not just the invitation to create a song, a yoga studio, a screenplay and some good money. It’s the invitation to create yourself. The creator is changed by the created. Yet if you refuse to listen to your own beckoning ideas, you hold back exponential resources within. You may think you’re just being practical. But how practical is it to deny your greatest powers?
You wouldn’t tell a baby to never expect to walk. Why would you tell yourself that you could achieve only what you’ve already experienced? You are still developing, aren’t you? It’s never “realistic” to deny your miraculous creative impulses. It’s self-annihilating. The reality is, you are a miracle. You are a growing, conscious spark of unparalleled energy. Your heart is the compass between the landscapes of what you currently know and what you can yet know in your lifetime.
I had a therapist who always talked about doing new things. She loved to challenge herself. The woman was a black belt in kung fu “just for fun.” I guess listening to everyone’s problems all day made her need to attack something at night. But she was frisky and creative, and urged me to try new things. At the time, I couldn’t imagine voluntarily adding some challenge to my life. I was doing everything in my fizzling power to avoid them. That zealous healer babbled on about the joy of expansion, and I looked at her with bleary pleading eyes and said, “English please.” But all these many years later, she remains with me. It’s not what she said. I remember the sparkle in her eyes. I remember the ease of her skin. She wasn’t just getting through her life like everyone else on the bus. This woman was alive.
Doing something new allows you to discover more of your natural largesse. I recently put on a new seminar. I was a bit nervous. I’ve taught thousands of workshops, but this one was all fresh content. I didn’t know what questions participants might ask. I didn’t know the catchy way to answer things. I wasn’t a well-oiled machine. I felt this gnawing in my stomach — not butterflies, closer to buzzards. I’m a bit of a control freak, though very shiny and spontaneous about it all. See, I like doing well. I’ve built up “buzz” and reputation. Truth is, I love having my workshops leave participants gazing at each other, dazed, happy, and as though they might just light up a cigarette afterward.
But I had to allow myself to grow. I had to flex new muscles. I had to take the chance that I could fizzle, which for me, would feel like having the worst hair day of your life, having your photo taken, and then maybe, if you’re very lucky, being burned at the stake. I had to walk my talk, which, by the way, never feels powerful until later, when you’re safe, fat and happy, and can entertain your friends. At the time, it means just walking forward and trying not to cry in public. But here’s the part I forgot: I’m not in control, but I am in the proximity of grace. I am not alone. I am not limited to the crude strengths I’ve experienced thus far. I am co-creating with a Universe that does not ever have self-esteem issues or a lack of horsepower or compassion. I am becoming more of myself — by using more of myself —discovering unknown power as I walk into the unknown.
Here’s what happened. The participants had breakthroughs, insights and stories I never could have predicted or manufactured. Something else was going on. This same essence often takes me by surprise in retreats. It’s a presence in the room, a love that’s in the water, where laughter erupts and tears glisten, or maybe our crown chakras open up like guppies swallowing the light. I don’t know. I do know that the attendees share unbelievable things. I say incredible things. This unrepeatable waltz begins to happen as though it had been reenacted a thousand times. It couldn’t go any better, though some insane part of me will dissect it later, anyway. It’s humbling. It’s moving. And it’s so far beyond anything that I alone could ever make happen. And I would have missed this if I hadn’t dared it. The experience reminds me of this line from “A Course in Miracles” — “The Holy Spirit is invisible, but you can see the results of His Presence… What He enables you to do is clearly not of this world.”
Russell Simmons, the hip-hop mogul with record labels, fashion labels, and multiple HBO reality shows, says he co-created his success by following an inner voice and taking risks. He says, “Time and time again I watch as the people who listen to their higher selves move on to bigger and better things, while the people who listen to the low notes end up stuck in one place or fade away altogether. They never realized that in ignoring their higher selves, they’re blocking their ability to be blessed.”
Where might you be blocking your ability to be blessed? Fear keeps you small and smallness keeps you fearful. It’s a pitiful system and it ages you like trauma, cigarette smoke, and too much gossip. Keep listening to your sweetest truth. Your truth is never an instinct that diminishes you. Remember, you have a presence within you that can do anything. You are not limited to what you’ve experienced in the past. You are not limited to what someone else has experienced in the past. There is something alive and inspired that wants to come through you. It’s an evolutionary impulse in your cells to grow and expand. You’re hungry for the new because you hunger for yourself. You know there are still unexpressed reserves within you.
Go beyond what you have done before. Expose yourself to grace.
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By Jen Louden on June 10, 2011
A creative retreat is the quintessential artist’s or writer’s dream. Time to tend your creative spark, think long, interrupted thoughts, meander, recharge and burrow into that project you’ve been flirting with.
Someone feeds you delicious food, you share tea or a glass of wine with other artists at the end of each gratifying day, hike in the bucolic countryside to clear your mind, nap when needed. Best of all, no interruptions: no children, aged parents or social media tugging at the hem of your attention.
Creative retreats are life-changing and can make a tremendous difference to your work and your confidence — as long as you’re a little bit prepared. Otherwise, you might find your expectations suck the creative juice right out of you, and you end up doing a lot more self-flagellation than creating.
Here are the five principles I use when I lead — or take — a retreat.
Lower Your Standards
When asked how he managed to write a poem almost every day (including the day he died!), the poet William Stafford replied, “I lowered my standards.”
The opposite tends to happen, especially when going on a creative (or any kind of) retreat. “I’ll write a chapter an hour, paint a new series of 50 paintings, find a fresh angle for my photography, I’ll eat only green smoothies and do yoga the rest of the time.” All that striving and impossible goal setting? It kills the retreat vibe and the possibility of getting your truest work done — and certainly kills the creative renewal you are seeking.
You know that good advice when you’re packing for a trip to take out half of what you just put in your suitcase? Same thing goes for what you plan to do on a retreat. Cut it in half. And then in half again. I beg you.
Clearly State What Will Be Enough
Last year I was gifted a week’s writing retreat by the venerable Fetzer Institute, and I set very clear “conditions of enoughness,” as I call them, for my week: no email, no Twitter, no Facebook; finishing a first draft of a new project; connecting with the other writers by being present and listening fully each evening. Naming these tangible facts created a foundation that allowed me to do the kind of deep writing and thinking I had been craving, as well as nap, take walks with my new friends and leave wildly inspired and renewed.
When you bring together lowering your standards and naming in facts what is enough for your creative time, the wild goodness you crave has a place to gather, and monkey mind has a bone to chew on (“She’s doing what she said she would … hmm, maybe I can shut up for a minute …”).
Declare a Time Element
On retreat, it’s vital you follow your desires, enjoy plenty of rest and play, and by deciding when and for how long you will work, you give yourself a gentle framework of satisfaction and containment. Otherwise, the endless expanse of time can be paralyzing. So maybe you paint from 9 a.m. to12 p.m. everyday, and meander the rest of the time. Or you write in 15-minute timed intervals with 1-minute breaks for one hour, then take a 1-hour photography break. On the writing retreats I lead, I start people off with 60 minutes and, as the week progresses, the writing periods get longer. This lets people build their creative muscles without getting overwhelmed.
Be sure to lower the bar on your time element! Just because you have 14 hours or so of being awake doesn’t mean you can create for 13 1/2 of them.
Ensure What you Do is Reasonable for You on an Average Day
The lure of a retreat can lure you into believing you are super-human — there will be no dishes, no cooking, no email, so certainly you will be transformed into someone who wears a cape and can do anything! As you are planning your retreat, keep in mind that you will, in fact, still be you. If you are not someone who writes after 3 p.m., this will probably not change on retreat. If you are not someone who gets up at 5 a.m. and writes for four hours without coffee, you won’t be that someone on retreat. Plan for an average “you” day, and you will find yourself supported to get great work done, with plenty of free time to fill up your creative well.
Declare Yourself Satisfied Even if You Don’t Feel Satisfied
This is one of the most powerful ideas I teach. You did what you said you would do — say, write for 2 hours, no checking email, then take a “noticing” walk with your camera, then read poetry and meditate. You get to the end of your day and you feel disappointed, or worried you aren’t using your retreat wisely if you aren’t wringing every bit of writing life out of it. You are so adorably normal!
The very best way to deal with this feeling is to say, out loud (yes, you feel silly doing this — so what?), “I did what I said I would and that it is enough. I am satisfied even if I don’t feel satisfied.” One of the most insidious — and common — ways we undermine our creativity is by belittling what we did. Learn to rest in what you have accomplished, honor it, and you’ll be infused with new energy and well-being. Train your awareness to notice the good and the real.
Writing retreats have been such a soul blessing to me, and to the thousands of creative souls I’ve been honored to facilitate. They can help you unsnarl a plot, dream up an angle for your blog and finally write that book proposal. But most precious of all, they remind you of why you create: how creating brings you in contact with the very heartbeat of life, the connection to all that is, and the overwhelming delight of being alive.
Please give yourself the gift of a creative retreat soon — and be sure and take the tad of time (takes like 10 minutes) to decide what will be enough so you can get the most out of your dream.
Join me, Jennifer Louden, in Taos July 24-30 for the 10th year of my World Famous Writing Retreat. Details here.
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By Guest Blogger on September 2, 2010
Does the word “chakras” sound at all familiar to you? What if I said this post was about love, money, and confidence – and how you can experience more of all of the above? Yep, that’s right. Get to know your chakra system and you will. Our chakra energy system is where energy flows through our body, and when any one of our seven chakras are blocked – well, it’s not good. But learn more about your chakras and how to keep that energy flowing freely, and you’ll bring love, money, confidence, and much, much more into your life.
Love. “Get rid of the old to make room for the new” or “You must love yourself before you can love another” are just a few of the very true clichés we have all heard. Though these sayings are both very true, sometimes we need a bit of help in the way of making those statements truly come to fruition in our lives. This is where your heart chakra comes in (located at the heart). Your heart chakra represents your past, present and future loves – and if it’s not open, then you’re probably not going to be experiencing the abundance of love that is available to you. So, what to do? Well, an easy food fix for this chakra is eating green-colored foods. (Yay for green juice! Maybe this is why we all love Kris!) The other fix for this chakra is opening your heart—whether that means using yoga to open that chest of yours, or literally forcing yourself to say “I love you” to those you love; either will do just fine. My grandfather’s 1950s version of opening his heart chakra (whether he knew it or not) was silently blessing the first 100 people he saw every morning. You know what, it worked. That man was probably the most popular man in our town.
Money. Have you ever had a lower back issue? Perhaps it’s just reoccurring pain, or maybe it’s even a case of sciatica. If you were more familiar with your chakras you’d know that lower back pain (root chakra) can be traced to concerns over money. Yep, money worries = lower back pain. Famous financier George Soros used to say he’d always get out of an investment when his lower back would bother him. The good news for George and for us is that by doing some light yoga (like bridge pose) and eating red-colored foods, we can help open up our root chakra. I remember a time a few years ago, when I was on the road raising capital for a startup during one of the toughest financial environments ever, and guess what body part began to hurt? Yep, that’s right, my lower back. But the good news was that a friend in San Francisco had introduced me to the chakra system, and after some hard core lower back work, including a lot of restorative yoga, my lower back was back on track. And we ended up raising the capital we needed, too.
Confidence. Self-worth, self-confidence, self-esteem–call them what you want–we’ve all dealt with these at one time or another. When we’re not feeling as confident as we should be feeling, we can perpetually sink ourselves into feeling worse. There are loads of great books and self-esteem boosters like affirmations to help get us back on our confidence track. There’s also our solar plexus chakra (located above the navel) as well. By indulging in corn, some yoga that is ab-centric, and by even shaking that booty of ours (yes, dancing helps), we can open up our solar plexus chakra and get our confidence back where it should be. I particularly love this chakra because of its location within our abdominal muscles. The healing of our solar plexus chakra, more so than any other chakra, is directly related to working out and moving our bodies, particularly our abs. This really illustrates the important connection between our physical and spiritual health as an ever-expanding waistline can affect our health and our spiritual energy.
Jason Wachob is a curator and one of the founders of MindBodyGreen.com, Jason’s goal is to promote the idea that wellness is for everyone – and that it can be fun and fulfilling. After years of successfully trading equities on Wall Street, Jason decided to make a lifestyle change – focusing on wellness and building companies that promote it.
Photo Credit: hint of plum
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By Gabrielle Bernstein on April 13, 2010
A topic at the forefront of my mind has been the unfortunate fact that women still earn 20% less than men.[1] I am totally pissed off thinking of my hardworking female contemporaries under-earning. My immediate reaction is to blame men, society, and government for putting us women in this situation. But the self-help junkie in me knows better. Rather than blame others for my discomfort, I chose to turn inward. I asked myself, “Why do these statistics make me so angry?” And after calming down, I realized why; my inner voice (aka “~ing”) responded, “You’re angry because you too are under-earning.” Wow! My ~ing was right on the money. It’s not that others are undervaluing me, it’s that I am undervaluing myself. My anger was the result of not knowing my own worth.
This revelation caught me off guard. For nearly a decade I’d perceived myself as a kick-ass businesswoman. I’ve been an entrepreneur since the age of 21. I’ve started several businesses, closed tons of deals, managed my books, paid my taxes—you name it. With this kind of track record, what gives? Why am I still undervaluing my worth?
I turned to the expert, my dear friend Amanda Steinberg, founder of DailyWorth.com (a personal finance email for women), to help me understand this female issue. According to Amanda, “Women still make 20% less than men because we don’t understand our real market value. We often approach jobs and contracts with fear and insecurity, hoping ‘they’ll want us,’ and not thinking about the established market value of what we bring to the table.” She continued, “It’s more common for a female job candidate to ask what the job pays, rather than walking in the door clear about her own bottom line.”
Recognizing this is the first step to realizing earning parity; the next move is to take action toward significant change. My personal energetic change around money could benefit all women and myself. By shifting my own thoughts and energy around earning, I could become a powerful example for women throughout the world. So, I committed to taking the necessary steps towards earning more and loving it.
Step 1: Be willing to feel uncomfortable.
The first step toward know~ing my worth was the willingness to feel uncomfortable. Most change can cause growing pains. To move through them, you must be willing to feel whatever comes up. In my case, even the topics of negotiating or raising my rates or spending less made me feel nauseous. I found that as I entered into these conversations, I’d defend my old patterns in efforts to stay safe. But playing small was no longer an option. I braved through the discomfort and committed to change by welcoming everything that came along with it—the good, the bad, and the ugly. I shifted my inner dialogue from, “That doesn’t feel good. Run!” to “Bring it on!”
Step 2: Practice!
With the willingness to feel discomfort, I transitioned to the second step towards know~ing my worth: practic~ing. The only way to transform my old patterns was to create new ones. I went into practice mode. Regardless of how uncomfortable I felt, I practiced negotiating every chance I got (even if I didn’t want what I was negotiating for). I negotiated in areas ranging from retail purchases to sponsorship deals. Each time I practiced this new behavior, I felt more worthy. Ironically, I enjoyed my practice period. This step helped me transform my fear around negotiating as I settled into a new perception of my worth.
Though things had improved, I still noticed something funky come up during my practice period. Each time I’d ask for what I wanted, I felt as though I needed to apologize for what I’d asked for by over-talking and justifying my requests. Though it was totally cool that I’d acquired the chutzpah to ask, I was still unable to close. Each time, I’d over-talk my negotiations and sabotage the deal.
Step 3: Visualize clos~ing the deal.
This brings me to the final step to know~ing my worth: clos~ing the deal. This step is all about revving up your belief system. When you believe you’re worthy, others believe you’re worthy. Therefore, I tapped into my visualization mediation practice. I’d sit in a 10-minute meditation and imagine myself signing the contract on a massive sponsorship deal. Then, I’d see myself cashing the check. Most importantly, I’d hold the vision long enough to feel worthy. The key to believing is feeling. By holding powerful visions through meditation, I was able to guide myself into a true feeling of worthiness.
With this new belief system intact, I was ready to close the deal. Now that I walked the walk, I had to learn to stop talking the talk. At closing time, I cashed in for some male advice from my boyfriend, who happens to be a killer negotiator. He said, “When you’re finished asking for what you want, shut up.” Man, is that right! In order to truly own your worth and close a deal, you must learn to be silent. There is no need for extra talk, backpedaling, or further explanation when you know your worth.
I continue to practice these tools daily and have experienced miraculous results. I’ll negotiate with anyone, visualize, and ask for more any chance I get; all for the sake of truly know~ing my worth.
You too can know your worth with guidance from Gabrielle’s book Add More ~ing To Your Life – A Hip Guide to Happiness.
[1] Gender inequality: Women still earn 20% less than men. (2010, March 8). Left Foot Forward. Retrieved March 31, 2010 from http://www.leftfootforward.org/2010/03/gender-inequality-women-still-earn-20-less-than-men/
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