Photo by Diana Mrazikova

Well, here we are at the end of January. Have you stuck with all your New Year’s resolutions? I always appreciate the chance for self improvement, but for some reason, New Year’s resolutions just don’t feel real to me. So this year, I decided to do something different. Instead of making a list of things I wanted to change in the upcoming year, I decided to reflect on some things I learned this past year. The hope is that the lessons will be my reminder for who I want to be and how I want to live in 2010.

Here are a few things I learned in 2009:

1. I can go six weeks without eating sugar.
2. I never want to do that ever again.
3. Saying what you mean and meaning what you say can be scary sometimes.
4. Speaking the truth gets a little easier each time you do it.
5. Traveling is magical, inspiring, and life-changing.
6. Traveling is challenging, confronting, and miserable.
7. It is nearly impossible for me to sleep with someone and not develop intense feelings for him.
8. Unless I’m traveling and leaving the country the following day. Then it’s just plain fun.
9. I can pee perfectly into a cup, while driving (cruise control on a highway), and not spill a drop.
10. Unless I pee so much that the cup gets filled—and I don’t realize it—and the cup runneth over.
11. I could blame the pee-smell in my car on my dogs.
12. I prefer to just tell the truth and laugh about it.
13. Giving my heart to someone who hasn’t earned it is foolish and painful.
14. Being open and vulnerable and jumping in with both feet is laudable. (However, it too may be foolish and painful.)
15. There are few things more terrifying than karaoke.
16. There are few things more liberating than karaoke.
17. A woman’s chemistry can make her crazy.
18. A man’s chemistry can make her fuckin’ batshit.
19. Instincts should never be ignored.
20. Sometimes, it’s hard to tell where your instincts start and your baggage stops.
21. Regret is a waste of time.
22. I struggle with time management.
23. I’m afraid love may not exist the way I want it to.
24. I couldn’t give up on love if I tried.
25. I will likely learn all of this all over again in 2010 (except the pee-spilling thing—lesson learned).

With 2 million books sold, Rory has taught us how to eat better. We’ve asked her for tips on how to live better, based on her own life experiences. Here are Rory’s top twenty ways to make every day shine brighter…

Rory Freedman, photo by Tim VanOrden

1. Don’t say “yes” when you mean “no.” It’ll make you resentful. Say what you mean and mean what you say.

2. When driving, if someone wants to get in front of you, let him in front of you. And do it with a smile. It’ll make his day better, and it’ll make you feel good. You just changed the world.

3. Try to make a gratitude list each day. Include big things and little things. Invite your friends to make their own lists; you can all email one another each day, sharing your gratitude.

4. Don’t be a problem solver when a friend just wants you to be a listener.

5. Call your parents or grandparents. Sometimes, a five-minute phone call is all they need to feel loved.

6. Be a good neighbor: Be considerate inside and outside your home/apartment so your noise doesn’t bother those around you. That includes opening and closing your front door quietly.

7. Pee in the shower. If we each did this once a day, it would save an enormous amount of water and toilet paper (trees).

8. Write a “fan letter.” Tell someone you know, or someone you’ve never met, why you admire him or her. You’ll make someone’s day.

9. Curb your jealousy. Be happy for others.

10. Be willing to be wrong. If someone has a grievance with you, really try to see her point of view. If called for, apologize. It’s hard to do, but it feels really good and makes life so much easier.

11. If you are in a room with someone you don’t know, introduce yourself right away. It takes away the social discomfort immediately.

12. Pick a cause close to your heart, and get involved. You don’t have to quit your job and dive in headfirst. Just get involved on some level and do what you can when you can. Go slightly beyond your comfort zone but don’t overextend yourself.

13. Be a good friend to your friends. Tell them what’s good about them, that you appreciate them, and make the effort to spend time with them.

14. Go vegetarian. Animals raised and slaughtered for food suffer immeasurably. Visit GoVeg.com for a free vegetarian starter kit.

15. Do your best to think good thoughts. They affect your health, happiness, and the people around you.

16. Do something frivolous for someone you love. (It doesn’t have to be extravagant.) It feels so good to do nice things for other people, it’s almost selfish!

17. Practice accepting compliments. The person complimenting you is giving you a gift. Receive it graciously, even if it is difficult.

18. Be generous with your compliments. Don’t blow smoke up anyone’s ass. Just say nice things when they occur to you.

19. Forgive those who have wronged you. Holding onto anger and resentment poisons your body and your life. There are no benefits in staying mad. Let go. It’s okay.

20. Forgive yourself. It’s okay to be imperfect and to have made mistakes. Try to do better, that’s all.

Rory Freedman, photo by Ariel Sinson

How did you change the delivery of your message for a male audience in Skinny Bastard?

What’s good for the bitch is good for the bastard, so basically, the men get the same tough love, straight talk, and compelling info the women get in Skinny Bitch. They also get male-specific bonus info about the prostate, erectile dysfunction, muscle-building, and how diet effects all three! (And I’m not gonna lie: there are multiple hilarious euphemisms for wang-doodles and jis in the book. We’re talking laugh-out-loud funny.)

What do you say to men who equate manliness and physical strength to eating a meaty diet?

Get with the times! There are professional athletes in every sport who are fueling their bodies with plant-based diets. Meat is high in cholesterol, fat, and saturated fat and can cause cancer! Carl Lewis, one of the greatest athletes of all time said the year he adopted a veg diet was his best year ever on the track.

What would you cook up for a skeptical non-skinny bastard to show him eating healthy and vegan is hot?

Vegan food is so amazing; there is something for every palate. There are vegan “meat” and potatoes-type meals that taste exactly like the real thing; exotic, ethnic foods; gourmet, high-end cuisine; and everything in between. So whatever a man’s favorite dish is, it can easily be veganized!

If you could share one tip with our readers what would it be?

Start somewhere! You don’t have to go vegan overnight, but today, pledge to change something! Pick a date in the very near future, make a challenging but attainable goal, and start planning for it. For example, take a 30-day veg pledge—dedicate yourself to trying one meat-free month. Don’t be a pussy! You’ve likely eaten meat your whole life but never tried being a vegetarian. Give it a rip! It’s just 30 days!

What are you working on now?

Vacation plans! Five books in five years (plus three workout DVDs) is a lot. I’m ready to unplug for a few months and recharge my batteries. There’s nothing like being in a new place around new people experiencing new things to get creative again.

Channeling the genius of James Lipton from Inside The Actor’s Studio, we would like to ask you a few of his famous interview questions:

What is your favorite word?
Vegan
What is your least favorite word?
Veal
What turns you on creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
LOVE!
What turns you off creatively, spiritually or emotionally?
Stress.
What sound or noise do you love?
The little clippety sound of my dogs’ nails on the floor when they’re playing.
What sound or noise do you hate?
My own voice, when I’m talking too much or complaining.
What profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
80’s aerobics instructor!
What profession would you not like to do?
Dentistry.
If Heaven exists, what would you like to hear God say when you arrive at the Pearly Gates?
You did it! You veganized the whole world!

What is it about boobs, anyway? Why do they make people so insane? And by “people,” I don’t just mean men. You can hardly make it twenty-four hours without someone you know complaining about her boobs in some way, shape, or form. And you can’t make it twenty-four minutes without seeing fake boobs on TV.

How did this madness start? At what point in time did it occur to women that a certain shape or size or bounce of boobs would be considered more viable than another? I sincerely doubt that cavewomen were sitting around signing and motioning and grunting about their own and each other’s breasts. I suppose it doesn’t really matter how or why boobs became so important in our culture. But to me, it does matter that millions of women are endangering their lives, undergoing anesthesia and surgery, and forever altering their God-given bodies to have different breasts than the ones they were born with. For what? (Just to be clear, I’m not talking about women who are disfigured or who have had mastectomies.)

I know women constantly say, “If it gives you confidence and makes you feel better about yourself, than why not?” Well, for starters, how about building confidence from the inside? Having small breasts isn’t a problem. Thinking your small breasts are less acceptable than large breasts is. If your breasts are somehow “wrong,” than what’s to stop you from thinking your hair, cheekbones, nose, lips, wrinkles, legs, butt, and stomach are “wrong,” too? Where does it end? Do you just look at yourself and see what “needs to be fixed”? At what point do you say, “I’m fine just the way I am.” Can you say it?

Believe me, I’m no stranger to self-critiquing: I pinch the insides of my thighs, I hold my stomach in, and I lift my ass up in front of the mirror and think to myself, “If only blah blah blah, then I’d be happy.” And as a woman with 32A-minus boobs, I’ve spent my fair share of time imaging how life would be different, better, easier even, with boobs. Sadly, until I was thirty-two years old, I wished my boobs were bigger. What a waste of time. What a waste of self-love and -acceptance. What a waste of me.

Somehow, this year, at the age of thirty-three, it occurred to me: My boobs are perfect. Just because I say so. And goddamn it, I love my small boobs now! I feel so lucky and blessed to have these exact boobs. Not because they’re small, like, “Ha ha, don’t you big-boobed women wish you had small boobs?” No, I feel lucky and blessed because they’re healthy, happy boobs. Women are being diagnosed with breast cancer left and right. To pine away for bigger boobs or bouncier boobs or smaller boobs is not only stupid, it’s pitiful. And on a less dramatic scale, I love my boobs now because it’s so much more gratifying than hating them. It simply feels good loving the skin I’m in. Period.

While so many of us walk around thinking of our breasts as accessories or man magnets (or women magnets, for our lesbian friends), we forget the primary reason we have them to begin with: Breastfeeding. Duh. I can only imagine the bliss of looking down at your newborn nursing and finally seeing your breasts for what truly they are—miraculous, precious gifts from Mother Nature herself. All mammals nurse their young. But we’re the only ones running around obsessing about our boobs and dressing them up like Yorkie terriers!

Life is too fleeting and too valuable to waste one minute feeling bad about our boobs or any other parts of our bodies. For whatever reason, the world we live in values a specific physical aesthetic. But if we can remember that we’re spiritual beings encased in skin and flesh—whether we represent that physical aesthetic or not—life can be dramatically different and dramatically fulfilling. Great hair, perfect boobs, long legs…they’re all fools’ gold. They mean nothing other than someone got lucky in the gene department.

Whether they’re big, small, saggy, or pert: love your boobs. And while you’re at it, love your fat ass, too.