By Lissa Rankin MD on March 30, 2012
You might have been raised to believe that doctors are gods and that you shouldn’t question us, but let me tell you the real truth, my loves. We docs are in the service industry — it’s our job to love, nurture, tend and care for you, and if we’re not doing that the way you deserve, you should fire our sorry asses!
If you weren’t getting what you needed from your massage therapist, hairdresser, or yoga instructor, you would find someone else, right? Why should your doctor be any different? And yet, your doctor is even more important. This is serious stuff we’re talking about here.
Plus, medicine is, after all, a spiritual practice. At least it should be, and if your doctor doesn’t believe that, do you really want to put your body and your life in his or her hands? If you didn’t like your priest, minister, guru, or shaman, you would go elsewhere, right?
I just got an email from a reader saying she was miserable with her doctor, but she was afraid to see anyone else because she didn’t want to get labeled as a troublesome “doctor shopper.”
Why Not Doctor Shop?
My response to her was “Why not doctor shop? And who cares if someone labels you ‘troublesome?’ It’s your body. Your health. Your life. Your choice.”
10 Tips to Help You Find the Right Doctor
- Interview your doctor. Let them know when you schedule the appointment that you would like to schedule a consultation to make sure your doctor is the right fit for you. If the doctor won’t submit to being interviewed, you gotta wonder what they’re afraid of. Find someone who has enough confidence in his or her awesomeness to agree to being interviewed.
- Be willing to get what you pay for. Insurance may not pay for you to doctor shop or for consultative interviews with doctors. So tell the front desk you’re willing to pay cash when you schedule the appointment. Also, doctors who do not accept insurance tend to offer more time. Find a doctor who will give you a whole hour if you can.
- Demand what you deserve (in a gentle, loving way, of course). Understand that your doctor may have 40 patients on her schedule, so be mindful of her time and ask how long you have allotted for you. Then be clear about what you expect and don’t settle for less.
- Seek someone who shares your beliefs. If you are a spiritual person counting on your relationship with the Divine to guide you on your self-healing journey, and your doctor is an atheist, it might not be the best fit.
- Check in with how your body reacts. If you feel tight, clenched, nervous, cold, shivery or closed off, your body may be telling you something. Look for feelings of openness, warmth, relaxation and calmness in your body.
- Listen to your intuition. What does your gut say? Do you trust this doctor? Do you feel safe in her hands? Trust your Inner Pilot Light (that 100% authentic, unapologetically YOU, that knowing inner healer who will always steer you in the right direction).
- Ask your doctor if they believe you can be healed. If your doctor reads you negative statistics, dismisses your self-healing superpowers, insists that there’s no hope, lacks belief in miracles, and generally considers you a hopeless case, get thee the hell outta dodge!
- Feel the love. I know I practice love, with a little medicine on the side. Science may cure, but only love heals. Go where the love is. There are plenty of loving doctors out there. Find one.
- Ensure that your doctor trusts your intuition. If you believe homeopathy is going to heal you, and your doctor thinks homeopaths are quacks, fire her. You and your inner wisdom know more than anyone else, no matter how long they went to medical school.
- Know that you deserve the best care possible. Don’t go telling yourself stories about how you’re not good enough/smart enough/young enough/rich enough/[fill in the blank] enough to get this kind of stellar medical care. If you believe you’ll only get bad care, it will be a self-fulfilling prophecy. Know you are worth it.
Are You Ready To Go Out And Get The Kind Of Care You Deserve?
This doesn’t just apply to doctors, you know. (I picked on them because my profession is notoriously bad about providing good customer service these days.) But this also goes for alternative health providers, the woman who does your pedicure, and your dentist.
I believe in you. There are so many good doctors and other health care practitioners out there. Find the ones who are right for you.
For more about me and the atypical medical services I offer, read here.
Do you feel comfortable doing these things? Have you already found awesome healers? Do you have other tips for how to find great docs? Tell us what you think!
What if I told you caring for your body was the LEAST important part of your health? Watch my TEDx talk here to learn the MOST important part.
With faith in you and hope for my profession,
Lissa Rankin, MD
For more by this author, visit owningpink.com
Photo credit: TimmyGUNZ
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By Lissa Rankin MD on December 28, 2011
When I interviewed women who had survived breast cancer for my art project The Woman Inside, I noticed that they all had one remarkable thing in common.
They had all faced down death and decided to live every day like it might be their last. And then they all beat cancer.
The more interviews I did, the more I noticed that these women were living differently than most of the people I knew who had not been diagnosed with cancer. Here’s what I learned from those survivor women. Learning these lessons changed my life, and I hope they’ll change yours.
1. Be unapologetically YOU. People who survive cancer get feisty. They walk around bald in shopping malls and roll their eyes if people look at them funny. They say what they think. They laugh often. They don’t make excuses. They wear purple muumuus when they want to.
2. Don’t take shit from people. People who survive cancer stop trying to please everybody. They give up caring what everybody else thinks. If you might die in a year anyway (and every single one of us could), who gives a flip if your great aunt Gertrude is going to cut you out of her will unless you kiss her ass?
3. Learn to say no. People with cancer say no when they don’t feel like going to the gala. They avoid gatherings when they’d prefer to be alone. They don’t let themselves get pressured into doing things they really don’t want to do.
4. Get angry. Then get over it. People who survive cancer get in your face. They question you. They feel their anger. They refuse to be doormats. They demand respect. They feel it. Then they forgive. They let go. They surrender. They don’t stay pissed. They release resentment.
5. Don’t obsess about beauty. People who survive cancer no longer worry about whether they have perfect hair, whether their makeup looks spotless, or whether their boobs are perky enough. They’re happy just to have boobs (if they still do). They’re happy to be alive in their skin, even if it’s wrinkled.
6. Do it now. Stop deferring happiness. People who survive cancer realize that you can’t wait until you kick the bucket to do what you’re dying to do. Quit that soul-sucking job now. Leave that deadbeat husband. Prioritize joy. They live like they mean it.
7. Say “I love you” often. People who survive cancer leave no words left unspoken. You never know when your time is up. Don’t risk having someone you love not know it.
8. Take care of your body. People who survive cancer have a whole new appreciation for health. Those who haven’t been there may take it for granted. So stop smoking. Eat healthy. Drink in moderation. Maintain a healthy weight. Avoid putting toxic poisons in your God pod. Get enough sleep.
9. Prioritize freedom. People who survive cancer know that being a workaholic isn’t the answer. Money can’t buy health. Security doesn’t matter if you’re six feet under. Sixteen hours a day of being a stress monster is only going to make you sick. As Tim Ferriss writes in “The 4-Hour Workweek,” “Gold is getting old. The New Rich are those who abandon the deferred-life plan and create luxury lifestyles in the present using the currency of the New Rich: time and mobility.”
10. Take risks. People who survive cancer have faced their fear and told it to go to hell. They know life is for living. Fear is powerless. And joy lies in taking risks. So go skydiving if you want. Bungee jump. Hang glide. Spend your savings. Live like you might die tomorrow.
Are you doing these things? Or are you waiting for cancer to test out how much you want to live?
Don’t wait for cancer, my love. Don’t tempt the universe that way.
Be brave enough to live now.
For more on how to optimize your life, visit owningpink.com.
Photo credit: .imelda
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By Lissa Rankin MD on September 9, 2011
Today, I’m going out on a limb to suggest a new kind of Doctor-Patient Relationship
It’s all about collaboration
As doctor and patient, you and I are entering into a partnership. I will not give you orders because we will be collaborating.
I am here to support you, guide you, offer you tools and support your process, but I will not “fix” you; I don’t believe you are broken.
You can heal yourself
You already have within you the power to heal yourself. You can optimize your wellness and happiness, so you can live the most joyous, vibrant, fulfilling, sexy and healthy life possible. Although I will support you by educating you, giving you choices, answering your questions and making recommendations, you are the force behind your own healing. The body is made to self-diagnose and self-repair, and my job is to help you activate those self-healing superpowers.
If you are not ready, willing or able to heal yourself, I will be here to nurture and support you, but the process will be less powerful, with less dramatic results.
I’m not blaming you
I’m not blaming you for being sick, depressed or otherwise in need of healing. I’m not suggesting that you brought this upon yourself. (And if you did, I will treat you with compassion, not judgment.)
I’m also not suggesting that every illness or problem will be cured, either by your hands or mine. Sometimes the master plan requires that illness – or even death – is inevitable. Healing and curing are different; one can happen without the other. Although our goal will always be to achieve both, we will both understand that we must set goals but release attachment to outcomes and surrender to divine will. In this surrender, healing lies.
We are equals
Although I spent many years training to earn the right to be your doctor, I am not “better” than you. You will not put me on a pedestal, and I will not look down upon you. I will speak to you when we are both dressed and only leave you naked in the brief moments when I need to examine you. I will respect your privacy and honor your modesty.
I accept that my time is not more valuable than yours. I will not make you wait for your appointment, and you will not be late. We must be present during our time together. We will both turn off cell phones, let go of distractions and focus all of our energy on your health and healing.
I trust your intuition
I will call upon my knowledge, experience and resources to offer you recommendations for preventative care, diagnostic workups and treatment plans. I will also invite you to listen to the intuition of your healing inner wisdom, body and soul. I will explain my recommendations, but I will always respect your autonomy, without judgment. If you choose not to follow my advice, we will negotiate another plan that resonates with your intuition. If I am unable to provide the care you need or desire, I will release you to follow your heart or find another provider. You will understand if our current medical-legal climate makes me cover myself sometimes.
I will not take it personally if you question me. I promise to respect you, guide you, and help you discover the healing power within you. In exchange, I ask that you follow through on any treatment plan we agree upon. If our treatment plan does not resonate with your body’s wisdom, or if you have financial constraints, please tell me so that we can modify our plan.
I believe in you
I believe in your capacity to heal from any illness, trauma or loss, even if other doctors have deemed you “incurable.” I will never view you as hopeless or broken, and I will hold sacred space for the whole, perfect, healed individual I know you to be, even in the midst of ill health. I will tell it to you straight so you understand science and statistics, but I will never tell you hope is gone, because miracles happen, and you have the power to enable them.
We must be honest with each other
We have to be open and tell the truth, even if it is painful or uncomfortable. I will promise you confidentiality, and you must promise to tell me anything I need to know to provide the best medical care possible.
I am only human
You will understand that I am a mere mortal, prone to mistakes, flaws, insecurities, ego, fatigue, tears and distractions. If I let you down, you will tell me gently.
I’m doing the best I can, and so are you
We commit to open communication, mutual respect, a belief in the infinite capacity for whole health and healing, and a dedication to cherishing the process and viewing health issues as an opportunity to seek higher ground.
We acknowledge that between you and me, anything is possible.
Are you on board? If so, sign here.
X marks the spot,
Your Doctor
A call to action
If you’re a health care provider, how does this strike you? If you’re a patient, how do you think your doctor would respond to this? How would you respond if your doctor gave this to you?
If we’re gonna change the system, we have to work together. Send this post to your health care provider and your friends. Let’s invite patients and health care providers to step up to the plate and reclaim the heart of medicine.
Photo credit: emdot
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By Lissa Rankin MD on May 20, 2011
I’m so honored to be here with my new girl crush BFF Kris Carr on the main stage with all you Wellness Warriors to share with you why I believe you can be your own doctor. Because you can, you know …
But first let me tell you why I went to school for 12 years to become a doctor – and then quit.
I could write a novel about that. But to make a long story fit into a blog post, I’ll say that I left medicine for many reasons, but the biggest reason is because I’m so sick and tired of trying to squish myself into a broken, narrow-minded health care system. I’m pissed at doctors, and I’m even more pissed at managed care insurance companies, malpractice lawyers, and the pharmaceutical industry.
And yet, at the same time, medicine is my greatest love, and I feel called to try to change it.
So I’ve been in the midst of a bit of an identity crisis lately – at least until just recently, when I suddenly had a massive breakthrough. I was out hiking by the ocean, where I do my best thinking, when two visions came to me.
I hate being crammed into the Doctor Box. And no wonder. Boxes feel small and limiting. When you finally take the leap of faith and learn you can fly freely, the last thing you want is to be pushed back into the cage. But I’ve recently realized that my tendency to resist the box is also inhibiting my growth.
The world wants me to be a doctor. Even though I quit practicing medicine, I’m a kick-ass doctor and there’s nobody out there quite like me. I suspect the world wants me to be a doctor because I am leading the way. As my friend and bestselling author Dr. Christiane Northrup said in the foreword to my book, “She’s a women’s health visionary, and it takes one to know one.”
And yet, still, I resist the title. And I hate getting shoved into the “health” category. What’s wrong with being labeled by the MD title I slaved away to earn? And what’s my beef with being categorized in such a worthy category as “health”?
I don’t like being lumped in with other small-thinking doctors, and I don’t agree with the way most others define “health” (excluding Kris Carr and the other bloggers in this awesome posse!). The “health” box is too small, narrow and body focused and not expansive enough to contain everything I believe contributes to whole health and true vitality.
You can’t be wholly healthy without expressing yourself creatively, connecting spiritually, engaging in loving relationships, doing work you love, getting it on sexually, dealing with your money issues, giving back to the world and serving your life purpose, in addition to nurturing your body. It’s just not enough to focus solely on the body, as I was taught in medical school.
Beyond Wellness
Even the wellness advocates who approach health with more of a mind/body/spirit philosophy miss the boat because it’s not enough to be merely “well.” Sure, if you’re sick, “well” sounds hot and sexy, but don’t you want more? Don’t you want to be vital? And if you’re not sick, don’t you want to stay that way – and thrive?
People wind up at the doctor’s office because they feel like something is off. The doctor runs a battery of tests, does a physical exam, finds no abnormalities and pronounces the patient “well.” But wellness isn’t enough. I want people to feel juiced up, filled with mojo and skyrocketing to the stratosphere in all aspects of their life.
Nobody ever taught me how to help people achieve this kind of whole health in medical school, but I’ve been reading voraciously, studying with healers, taking workshops and trying to fill in all the gaps in my knowledge so I can help teach you how to feel more vital in your life.
The Cairn as a Model for Expanding the Definition of Health
When I think of whole health, I think of a cairn, one of those man-made stacks of balanced rocks you tend to see on beaches. The bottom rock in the cairn, the one that supports all the others, would be your Inner Pilot Light, that always-radiant, never-extinguished, 100 percent authentic essence within you that supports everything else in your life. Balanced upon that one stone would come all the other facets of what makes you whole: your creativity, spirituality, sexuality, physical health, relationships, career and why you’re here on earth.
Unlike the traditional, linear, hierarchical pyramids we’re all taught in health class, the cairn is an interdependent structure. With the exception of the foundation stone, no single stone is more important than the others. If you pull out any one stone by neglecting one facet of your being, the whole beautiful sculpture crumbles. When the cairn crumbles and you lose balance, you wind up sick.
Healing vs. Curing
I realized recently that I find myself apologizing to people on behalf of doctors, and I don’t necessarily want to be lumped into the same box as them because most doctors aren’t practicing the kind of medicine I believe genuinely heals. People rarely used the term “healing” where I trained. A healing wound or a healing fracture – maybe. But a healing person? Nah. That’s New Age.
I believe there’s a difference between healing and curing, so I’m not suggesting that people skip traditional medical treatments. But what if you can be both healed and cured? This is where the magic happens.
Medical school taught me how to cure people, and I’m exceedingly grateful for this education. But I didn’t go to medical school just to learn how to prescribe drugs and cut out body parts. I was age 7 when I was called to be a healer, and I believe medicine is a spiritual practice. It’s not our job to “fix” people. It’s our job to empower people to heal themselves.
Be Your Own Doctor
I’m working on my next book now and the working title is “Be Your Own Doctor.” But it’s not what you think. I’m not suggesting you do your own Pap smear, dose up your own chemo or take out your own gallbladder. I’m also not trying to diss doctors! I’ve spent decades worshipping at the altars of modern medicine, and what we can do is nothing short of miraculous.
You must accept responsibility for your part of the healing process. You must be an active participant who’s kicking it in all aspects of your life, not just by eating a Crazy Sexy diet, but by tapping into all those other aspects of your whole health, as Kris teaches.
What do you think about all this, Sunshine? Do you believe you can heal yourself? Are you on board to nurture all the aspects of your whole health? Have you had any bad experiences (or great ones) with the health care system? I can’t wait to hear what you think!
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