Change. It’s the most popular topic on the Internet this week. Some folks love resolutions; some rally against them. Some call them intentions, rituals, goals or promises. I tend to call them resolutions ‘cause I like metrics and sweeping. When you sweep you can see your accomplishment instantly.
I generally reflect on my year (the good, bad, ugly and grace-filled) throughout the month of December; then I write my resolutions and tuck them away to review the following New Year’s Eve. Of course, I loved reading your resolutions on Facebook and twitter this week. Thanks for sharing!
Some years I post my resolutions on my vision board to inspire me to stay on track. Perhaps I’ll break them into categories like health, biz, art and mental clean-up. If I’m in a Virgo-esque (anal) phase, I’ll assign a resolution to each month. For example, January: Forgive that relative who hurt you to the bone. February: Clean the attic. March: Heal cellulite. April: Solve the exploding chronic disease crisis. May: Get comprehensive blood work done and for God’s sake, take your supplements. June: Know God. July: Learn Spanish. And so on.
Let’s just say that allotting a timeline to change has never worked for me. Scheduled growth mostly ends in failure and scotch. Why? Because I’m an artist at my core. I struggle, snuggle, protest, pound fists, open arms, break, yell, hide and fly. That’s how I expand. How do you wrangle that!? You don’t.
So as I sit and ponder 2012, I’ll share my 2011 with you: what worked, what didn’t and my hopes for 2012. But before I do, here are my personal tips for transformative follow-through.
Take inventory. Get a clear picture of where I am before planning where I’m going.
Review my bandwidth. How much room do I have in 2012? Don’t pack my life with goals ‘til I’m emotionally constipated and physically exhausted. Sure I want to stretch my wings and land on the moon in heels. But I want to do it without casualties and consequences.
What’s the emotional thread I want to experience in 2012? What feeling do I want to permeate through the pores of the New Year? Compassion? Unconditional love? The shift is the honey.
Be specific. “I want to save the world” won’t cut it. What are the activities that will help me make the world a better place? Hint to all interested in that one: GO VEG!
What’s non-negotiable? What feelings or activities must change or I’ll lose my mind? And how can I hold myself accountable? Writing this blog post is a great start! Putting it out there makes it real. When we keep our goals private it’s easy to conk out.
Make time for the magic hour muse. I’m always surprised by how much I accomplish personally and professionally when I give myself time to star gaze. Time to stroll and play without structure. Ideas come. Revelations reveal themselves. Ah ha’s take my breath away. Mindlessly flipping through Vanity Fair by the fire can ignite a revolution. You never know where the muse lives. That’s why it’s a muse. Make space for it.
Beautiful new friends came into my life (Tara Stiles: You’re one of them.)
Had two majestic soul coven weekends with my trusted unicorns, Marie & Danielle.
Started a mastermind/visionary group of 15+ Crazy Sexy Women who support and nurture the fire and brilliance in each other (truly juicy & quenching!)
Great CT scans! Graduated to every 1.5 years (my beauty marks are behaving quite nicely – thank you beauty marks! I have too much work and life and love to do for y’all to get in the way. Appreciate you keeping it real.)
Dealt with other (non-cancer/non-baby) health issues. Ahhh, more lessons. Raged at first. Now I’m finding the gems.
Worked on ancient resentment and allowed myself to miss someone I vowed not to miss.
Fell deeper for my husband & dog.
Fell in and out of love with P90x and would like to rekindle the flame in 2012.
Made yoga my church.
Started writing again …
2012 (Here I come!) …
London. I must visit you.
Find a new spiritual teacher (I need to deepen the well.)
Tap more (EFT) with Nick Ortner (my brother from another mother who loves me no matter how sticky my personal gunk gets). He helps me clean up old, stale emotional garbage like no other.
Go to the theater.
See art. Make art. Use my new camera (thank you, Santa husband!)
Rescue more horses.
Hire more peeps to help me run CSL.
Be a better manager.
Deliver a phenomenal cookbook (Crazy Sexy Kitchen is coming in October 2012!) and help that baby soar!
Launch a few online goodies for y’all :)
OK. That’s good. Did I overcommit? Only time will tell. And as for the overall feeling I want to experience in 2012: that whatever I do is enough. I want to cruise through the year on a continual exhale. No matter what it brings or how life changes.
How about you? Chat with me on Facebook and twitter and right here in the comments. Share one of your resolutions (intentions, goals etc) for 2012. I’d love to know.
Wishing you loads of love & magical adventures in 2012 – Happy New Year!
Last week I finally hauled my assets to the hospital for my annual cancer CT scan. I was a bit late this year—like by six months! But I needed to push the limit. To stretch and spread my wings further. If all went well, perhaps my oncologist would give me more time between check-ups. A girl can dream. Plus, it’s been nine years! If I’m going to continue to live well with cancer (fingers crossed, green juice galore) then more time between scans would a major gift. In fact, listen up Santa: All I want for Christmas is a longer grace period. The vegan cookies and almond milk are waiting for you. Love, Kris.
So off we went. But wow did it feel different this year. Like an old shoe. Worn out but reasonably comfortable. No sharp edges. No tight swelling. Very little scan anxiety. That feeling alone was a great improvement. I guess I’m doing my personal work and practicing what I’m preaching! On the car ride we talked about movies and horses, our renovation, the beautiful wedding we attended the night before (we love you Ann and Andy), how funny Lola is and what we’d do if we won the lottery. Oh, and we also talked about kids. To me, this was the make it or break it scan. I’m not getting any younger (Well, actually I am—but my lady parts aren’t.) Where did the time go? Wait, I know. I was busy being a “young” woman on a mission to help myself and others. Poof! I lost a decade.
So there you have it, the backstory …
Now for the results: Solid. Stable. No growth. Holding firm. The tumors are still asleep. All good under KC’s hood.
Thank you baby Jesus Santa Elvis Buddha—the whole crew and especially me + my body. Thank you, me.
Before I get to my next point, I really want to revel in the good. Because it’s so easy to just check it off and move on. My oncologist reminded me that my disease can change at anytime and that we have been very blessed and lucky. I made a flippy comment about how he always says the same thing and can’t we just record his voice and play it once per year? Save the veins (mine get pissed) and the trouble. Ooh child, spanky time! “I never take your continued good health for granted. Though you live with a slow-moving cancer, it still can be deadly.” Got it. Ouch.
I am lucky, very happy and blessed. And I hear you, Dr. D., loud and clear. Cheers!
Now for the bummer: This time around my trusted oncologist wasn’t keen on the idea of having kids the good old-fashioned way. He gave us a brilliantly terrifying metaphor, and now I hate rocks.
It went something like this … Your health is like a rock. It’s balanced at the top of a mountain. If the hormones generated during pregnancy tip that rock so that it tumbles down the mountain, we can probably stop it at some point, somewhere along the tumble, but I don’t know if we can get it back up the mountain. That’s a lot to risk.
Damn rocks.
And yet, who’s to say. There’s no real evidence because there aren’t many cases to compare me to. In addition, there are other ways to become a parent (through adoption, surrogacy, miracles, etc.) or to more sweet animals or possibly just birthing books and beyond. No matter what, I’ll be creating and thoroughly embracing life. This unicorn will gallop.
And all that is why life is messy and brilliant, gorgeous and staggering, crazy and sexy. Remember the last line from my film? It still applies.
Love you.
Thank you for the global hugs I constantly feel and sometimes fold into.
If you like this article, please let me know on Facebook & twitter. I’d love to hear from you!
Peace and endless soul adventures,
KC
P.S. I did get more time. I will get scanned every 1.5 years now. Cheers!
Well, well, well, look at our brilliant bloggers rockin’ the mic at TEDx! It’s like a Crazy Sexy party. Grab some tea or juice, settle in and enjoy. I’m so proud! Ladies and gents, I give you the phenomenal Gabby Bernstein, Alissa Vitti, Mama Gena, Lissa Rankin, SARK and of course, my very own spectacular sister, Leslie Carr. Can you believe that her very first public speech was a TED talk? Oh, yeah! Cause that’s how we roll in my family. WOOT!
Beware: You will get goosebumps. Oh and you may want to quit your job, change your life and lock and load into your greatness. I’m just saying. :)
Have a terrific weekend!
Peace & inspirational lectures,
kc
Gabrielle Bernstein
Featured in the New York Times Sunday Styles section as “a new role model,” motivational speaker, life coach and author Gabrielle Bernstein is making her mark.
Alissa Vitti
Alisa Vitti, HHC, AADP (Holistic Health Counselor, American Association of Drugless Practitioners) founded Laughing Sage Wellness, now the FLO Living Center LLC, in Manhattan, ten years ago—this, after battling the frustrating health symptoms of polycystic ovary syndrome (PCOS) and then healing herself through food and lifestyle changes.
Mama Gena
Regena Thomashauer (Mama Gena) is a revolution: an icon, teacher, author, mother and one of a handful of pioneers on the planet researching the nature of pleasure and dedicating her life to the discipline of pleasure.
Lissa Rankin
Lissa Rankin, MD is an OB/GYN physician, author, keynote speaker, consultant to health care visionaries, professional artist, and founder of the women’s health and wellness community OwningPink.com. Discouraged by the broken, patriarchal health care system, she left her medical practice in 2007 only to realize that you can quit your job, but you can’t quit your calling.
SARK
SARK is a best-selling author and artist, with sixteen titles in print and well over two million books sold.
Leslie Carr
Dr. Leslie Carr is a registered clinical psychologist in private practice, where she works with adults out of her San Francisco, CA office, as well as via Skype.
Last week I decided to totally hijack the entire prevention movement and throw all chronic disease, shit pickles, emotional BS and dis-ease into one month of self-care awareness. We’re calling November “National Prevention Month” – for everything! I wrote about it in Friday’s newsletter, so check your inboxes and spam folders if you missed it.
In 1971 – the year I was born – President Nixon and Congress declared war on cancer. So what’s happened in the 40 years since? Not much. Today, the United States has the seventh highest cancer rate in the world. While heart disease is on a slight decline in the U.S., the cost to treat it is expected to triple by 2030. Around the globe, diabetes deaths will double between 2005-2030. By 2030, almost 23.6 million people will die from from heart disease and stroke. These are expected to remain the single leading causes of death.
Here’s the download that most of us missed: The majority of chronic diseases, including many cancers, are caused by diet, lifestyle choices, and environmental factors. Not just genetics. Actually, poor ole genetics often gets a bad rap. Enter … drumroll … epigenetics! The sexy science that teaches us that our genes are not always our destiny. We can actually have a predispostion for something and still avoid the trigger. And catch this, we can even change our DNA. Um, yeah, we’re that powerful.
What can you do to stack the odds in your favor to hopefully avoid an unwanted medical condition? Remember this very important snugget: Keep you inner eco-system as clean as possible. That’s right, you have rivers and lakes and sky on the inside. When you smoke and shout, eat dead foods and refuse to wean, finger your remote, cry on the inside, junk out on sugary crack, and slather chemicals on and around your body – you’re polluting the pristine environment that is you. If you’re a swamp on the inside, it’s time to cleanse the waters and get them moving again. Here’s how …
Eat LOTS of plants, less animals, real food, nothing fake, move your assets, dial down stress, breeeathe, don’t smoke (it will rob your beauty and your life), build a contemplative practice, love more than you hate, forgive (yourself), pray like you give a damn, take fun seriously, burn your to-do list, say no to other peoples “you-do” lists, dump stuff, make memories, poop, poop, poop, drink your holy green juice, take supplements based on what your blood work suggests ya need, pet your pet, smile like a child, live like it’s the first day of the rest of your life and it’s so delish that you can’t wait for another!
There is only one lasting cure … and it’s prevention. And it’s up to us to set an example, teach our children, and lead the way to health, spiritual wealth, and happiness through personal action. Prevention rocks!
If you’re on board, then join me and spend the next 30 days focusing on self-care. Do it for yourself, do it for the broken sickcare system and do it for the next generation. This is a movement, my friends. We need numbers. We need you. Share this post with your friends. Talk about it on Facebook and twitter. Make prevention trend! Wanna? Use the hashtag #preventionrocks
And if you haven’t signed up for my newsletter yet, get on it! From here on out, I’ll be writing a lot more about my personal thoughts and reflections there.
I recently got an email from a fan with a deep desire to play big in her life and career. There’s only one problem, she’s terrified of the type of criticism she might receive if she reallyputs herself out there. “Kris, how do you navigate the good, bad and ugly?” What a fantastic question!
First and foremost, I’ve cultivated a sacred relationship with myself. I literally have my own back and am an excellent (self) bodyguard. I also believe in KC, and drum roll … I like me. Sure, meanies can sting, but I can’t be torn down easily. Good reviews, bad reviews, why hold onto either? If you believe you’re the next Jesus, then you’d better believe you’re the devil too. That’s the roller coaster ride you buy a ticket for when you choose to get caught up in others’ opinions of you. As long as what you’re putting out in the world resonates with you, feels good in your soul’s tummy, and helps folks, that’s all the validation you need. Here’s another test: Would you be proud of what you’re doing ten years from now? 20 years, etc? If so, charge on!
Over the Crazy Sexy years, I’ve experienced a bloody-wrestling match with criticism. I’m not going to lie, every once in a while I wish my life were simpler and private. But I signed up for more this time around. And more is stunning and complicated. Not everyone is open to my wellness philosophy, irreverent sass, my desire to be a smart businesswoman and my willingness to stand up for animals, people and the planet. So how can we learn to separate constructive criticism from useless finger-waging whining? On top of that, how do we build a tougher shell to fight against bullies? It’s simple: 99 percent of the time, the stabbing comment is not about you. It’s about them. The haters will hate because they are hurt and sad and mad. Your shine freaks the holy-hell fuck out of them. Capiche?
In these situations, the quicker you shake it off and march forward, the better. Send compassion, love and forgiveness to the person attacking you. Yuck!? Yeah, I know that can be a hard pill to swallow. But boy does it reframe the situation fast. Maybe they’re having a bad day or haven’t quite learned to master the fine art of communication. Whatever the case: Never let their issues bring you down. If you can be honest with yourself, it’s pretty easy to see what information is beneficial and what needs to be tossed. Can’t see things clearly? Ask a trusted friend or colleague. Here’s another way to look at harsh commentary: When you start to get a reaction from the outside world, you know that you’re pushing boundaries and challenging yourself (and others) to grow. So, rock on pioneer!
Safe ways to deal with criticism:
1. Consider the source. Is the commenter a friend or foe? Are they speaking from a place of security and openness or anger and negativity? Even if you don’t know the person, you can usually tell a lot about them from their tone. Often, destructive, snarky criticism is a projection of the insecurity and unresolved issues of the giver. These comments can be the most biting, but also the most unfounded and telling. When you march to your own beat, you’re going to piss people off because it makes them feel uneasy about their place in the world. Thought-provokers are prime targets for being misquoted and manipulated, and you can’t control that – trust me! Take a breath and objectively examine the source before crawling into a hole of self-loathing. Plus, that person is already occupying the hole. Do you really want to hang with them?
2. Practice non-attachment. Whether the response is good or bad, you will benefit from creating distance between yourself and your work. These remarks don’t define you as a person. And remember what I said a hot second ago. You can’t control how folks perceive you. If you really want to dampen your spark, go ahead and try. Seriously, it’s not possible, so just keep your side of the street clean and let go. For example, health is a hot button issue for a whole lotta folks. To keep moving ahead, I have to remind myself that I am not merely the product of my work. I am not an inspirational patient. I am not a trailblazer. I am not a glass of green juice. I am not defined by how the world perceives my work. I am Kris. No more, no less. Sure I have goals. But my work and my life are very different – even though my life is deeply embedded in my work. Make sense? If I allowed myself to be defined by these things, I would’ve stopped years ago. And remember this, just because someone says something about you, it doesn’t mean it’s true. Is one weak voice going to silence you? No way!
3. Pull out the gems. Once in a while, you’ll receive a big honking piece of fabulous feedback. This type of critique is one of the greatest gifts a person can give you. Cherish these nuggets even if they’re difficult to digest. Constructive criticism may make you feel a little uncomfortable, but it shouldn’t hurt your feelings or cut you down. Instead, it can teach you how to better serve and build your business.
A special note about the Internet: Remember that the Internet gives everyone a voice. That’s what’s so great about it. But it also makes it an emotional land mine. People who are in pain have a really easy time venting from a laptop, especially if they never have to meet you in person or be held accountable. Journalists too. No matter how lovely they may seem, they often have their own agendas that do not include your best interest in mind. If you find yourself at a place in your career where you are being interviewed, check out the writer. Does he or she have a respectful, clean tone? How intelligent is the person? Are their values aligned with yours? If not, you can say … no. Opportunities will come and go, you’ll always have them. I promise.
Bottom line: Don’t let the fear of criticism hold you back. Use the good stuff as rocket fuel, the thoughtful advice to hone your message, and throw the junk in the trash where it belongs.
