Vairagya: The Practice of Letting Go
“Vairagya” is the term in yoga philosophy that describes non-attachment. The term “yoga” itself comes from the verb “to yoke,” to be steadfast with something. This is different from clinging to things out of fear. Vairagya refers to our ability to let go of things, to leave them be, as well as to go for a challenge while renouncing the fruits of our labor. We need both action and inaction in our lives to remain balanced, and the practice of vairagya has us abstain from getting too attached. To play it cool, as it were.
Clinging to thought patterns, people or things, is the closest to what could be considered a sin in yoga philosophy. Basically, it shows lack of faith in that we are eternally provided for. “How is that?” you ask. There is no proof that a heavenly handout will materialize as soon as we let go of our attachments. But that is the definition of faith, isn’t it – the fact that we must believe without any assurance of desired outcome?
We can all agree that being flexible and having an ability to let go of an issue, a regret or an obsession, is a good thing. We are so much happier when we don’t stare ourselves blind over something we want, or a problem we can’t immediately solve. What I’d like to do here is explore a little further the lesser discussed virtue of vairagya, which is what it does to us as people.
Loosening your grip on things makes you a less fearful person. Letting go reminds you that life is temporal and that being able to hold on to anything is an illusion. Enjoyment of the moment is all you have until that moment is gone – so that you may enjoy the next one. Non-attachment lets you love people without glomming on to them, expecting them to love you in return. In this mental place, fear loosens its grip on you because you enter situations without either anticipation of what will happen or bracing yourself for the worst. Your actions become a true expression of who you are, over being directed by your thoughts of what those actions will give you.
Sometimes I have trouble sleeping. Attaching myself to the idea that I should sleep only makes it worse. I’m attached to my sleep (as well as attached to the beauty that will surely vanish quickly if I don’t get my sleep …). Below are the practices I do to open up and change my perspective in those moments, and I find that they can be applied to anything that I am attached to. Feel free to try this self-talk – I hope it will work for you too.
- First, use your breath to help you. Say “let go” to yourself. “Let” on the inhale, and “go” on the “exhale.” If you, like me, use it for sleep, know that it’s also OK just to be resting and not sleeping. When you are tired enough, you will sleep (and maybe you are just someone who has a lot of energy, and that’s why you are still up).
- Second, there is a gift housed in each situation where you think you are about to lose something. The gift differs depending on the situation, but the gift of learning is universal to most of them. Ask yourself, “What am I learning now?”
- Lastly, clinging prevents you from expanding. Holding on so tightly to what you already have or hope to gain, blinds you to what else is available to you.
Say to yourself, “Although uncomfortable, I’m expanding now.”
In conclusion, I quote the great Swami Muktananda when he said, “Don’t be addicted to anything, but if you have to be addicted to something, be addicted to yoga.” Perhaps in our glorious humanity, we will always have to fight our urge to control circumstances. Muktananda’s advice to cling to the yogic way of non-attachment may be our best bet in directing our fear and letting go. Either way, when you feel clingy, vairagya will free you up any time you are willing to practice it.
Johanna Sawalha is a private and executive coach with 18 years of experience in the field, coaching high-powered individuals in their businesses and lives.
Photo credit: Shenghung Lin
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13 Comments
Good thoughts. I definitely think non-attachment is the key to less stress and more fulfillment in life. I’m actively working on this concept in my own life right now and hope to inspire others to do the same. As someone who healed a decade-long, severe and chronic anxiety disorder via holistic methods, one of the biggest takeaways for me was getting out of my own head. The mind is where it all starts; even “physical” pain and disease begins in the mind which is why we need to focus on healing that first; the rest will follow. I know it’s easier said than done, but if you’re on the fence about this whole “detachment” idea, isn’t anything (holistic) that offers the promise of inner joy and fulfillment worth a shot?
That’s amazing and helpful. Thank you!
great article. I may have to print this out as a reminder for those days that get to busy !!
AnneMarie – I am so glad. I know when I get fearful, it really helps to tell myself that it’s just fear. Fear is fear. What scares us changes, but fear is fear and you can address that. “Oh. It feels like butterflies in my stomach.” Or “My stomach is doing funny things right now.” All to not stay in that vice grip that feels so real. Thank you and and Tamara for printing! :) And Andrea for commenting and Hadley for adding more helpful advice. Warmly, Jo (the writer of the article)
Thank you! So timely and just what I needed for a current situation.
God
Thank you for writing this. I’ve been down with a cold & have been resting to the point that I’ve gotten sick of my bed & have been having trouble sleeping. (What you said about being attached to my sleep is true -I go to bed thinking “I must sleep to get better” etc). Then I tried to tire myself out one evening by going out, meeting friends & going to a park. But I think I came back with more energy!
So… I will definitely try to”self-talk” tonight!
I really needed this article. Thank you so much!
“We need both action and inaction in our lives to remain balanced, and the practice of vairagya has us abstain from getting too attached. To play it cool, as it were.” – love this…I learned this to from the Tao – “so the sage lives openly with apparent duality and paradoxical unity”…being and non-being produce each other…action and inaction are one and the same…great article!
Great article. “We need both action and inaction in our lives to remain balanced, and the practice of vairagya has us abstain from getting too attached. To play it cool, as it were.” That’s a tall order for my western mind, but I take away something similar from the 2nd verse of the Tao. “…apparent duality and paradoxical unity”…action/ inaction are one and the same. Being and non-being produce each other. Detach from outcome. Like your comment about thinking about sleep. Thanks for sharing.
Kookaburra, Nadine, and Darren – thank you much for reading and commenting. I don’t know why we persist in thinking that there will just be ONE more hump to get over and THEN we’ll get what we want…and the thing we’ll end up getting is the last one we’ll ever get. Aren’t we funny? Why is that, that we dupe ourselves this way …:) Coach Jo
Beautifully written. The art of letting again is something that requires us to surrender to a greater power then ourselves. As humans with deep emotional connections to people and situations find it difficult to let go and forgive. Yet the act of forgiving sets us free and allows our true light to shine. Thanks for sharing.
I’m at a crossroads. Deathgrip hold, fearful to let go. It reached a crescendo yesterday…… it’s like you read my mind and having this be the very first thing I saw this morning…… no coincidences in life. It’s already printing on my remote printer. Going right up on the wall as a constant reminder…. thank you thank you thank you….
February 23, 2012