By Guest Blogger on April 5, 2011

Shy Girl’s Manifesto

by Liz Longacre

 

Dear Shy Soul,

I know you; I am you.

Do any of these scenarios sound familiar?

In school: The teacher asks a question. You know the answer. You want to raise your hand. What if you say something wrong? What will they think? What if you stutter or your voice cracks, again? No, you have to raise your hand. You know this! Heart starts pounding. Body starts shaking. Ugh, raise your hand! You start to lift, just your fingers. Someone else gives the answer. Damn it. You’re invisible, again.

In a business meeting: You have a question about something. You’re going to ask it. No, stop. What if everyone thinks it’s a stupid question? You’ll be so embarrassed. You can’t ask it. Your heart’s already pounding through your chest. Someone else brings it up. It sparks a 10-minute discussion; it was a good question. You can’t believe you didn’t open your mouth. You’re invisible, again.

At a social event: A room full of people you don’t know. Everyone seems to know each other. You stand alone scoping out the room. Who looks approachable? No, you can’t interrupt anyone. It will be too awkward. So you stand there, alone. You’re invisible, again.

If you’ve experienced these feelings consistently throughout your life, like me, you have a shy soul. You may not always be shy — perhaps you’ve learned to fight past your awkward feelings; but you’re built upon a shy, spiritual core. And you probably beat yourself up every time your words don’t come out right.

A shy soul is often a fragile, sensitive soul. Introverted. Awkward, at times. Easily bruised. Afraid to draw attention. Unable to speak. Scared to shine.

Why are you so shy? Who took your voice? I’m sure you have your reasons. They are undoubtedly legitimate. So why beat yourself up about it all the time? Does that help ease your shyness or perpetuate it?

I’m not going to give you a list of 10 ways to overcome shyness. Instead, I’m going to tell you why your shyness is beautiful and how you can embrace all the qualities and strengths it embodies.

The beauty of your shy soul:

1. Intuition. Shyness often makes you extremely sensitive and analytical. Don’t view these as flaws; view them as components of your acute emotional intelligence. Use these characteristics to your advantage. Pick up on cues others would miss. This can help you in both your personal and professional life. For example, when it comes to your profession, listen to your clients. The slightest change in their voice or subtle facial expression can tell you so much that the average person might miss. Trust your intuition; highlight the things you notice; shine in ways that only you can.

2. Depth. If you’re shy, chances are your soul runs deep. All those thoughts running through your introverted head can seem like a whole lot of mess at times, but don’t focus on the mess. Instead, focus on the beauty, wisdom and radiance that stir deep within you. You’re not flashy and egotistical. You don’t dangle out every thought that pops into your head. You let your beautiful wisdom brew and manifest. Without realizing it, you may just be brewing magic.

3. Mystery. This is a more superficial quality, but a fun one nonetheless. Of course you’ve looked at the outgoing, fearless, beaming shining star standing next to you and thought to yourself, “Why can’t I just be like that, so free and uninhibited?” You can try to emulate that person’s behavior; but if you’re not being true to yourself, it will never feel right. Instead, embrace the mysteriousness your shyness embodies. Mystery is a beautiful thing. It’s sexy and alluring and makes people wonder. You may be feeling alone and scared inside, but someone else may be viewing you as interesting and even intimidating. Remember, you are not the thoughts in your head. Chances are, people perceive you in the exact opposite way from how you feel. So relish in your mysteriousness.

4. Compassion. There are some people in this world who have no problem trampling on others. Your shy, sensitive soul makes you so aware of others’ fears, doubts and insecurities that it’s nearly impossible for you to ever do that to someone else. You probably usually focus on building others up instead. That is a beautiful and special thing. Whom would you rather be in life: someone who builds others up or puts others down? For me, this compassion transfers to animals as well as people. In my opinion, there is no animal too small or too “inferior” to not be deserving of the utmost compassion. My shyness gave me my passion: animal welfare. I thank my shy, sensitive soul every day for letting this compassion manifest within me. Admire your compassionate heart.

5. Strength. People should not be fooled by us shy souls, nor should you ever forget this about yourself. You may be shy and often soft-spoken, but make no mistake — fierceness lies deep within you and will surface whenever necessary. There is nothing more powerful than the roar of a silent lion. The same things that made you shy have also made you strong. Whether it’s in defense of others or in defense of yourself, you are far more powerful than you think. You may feel meek at times, but you are more courageous than most could dream of being. Recognize and respect your strength.

So be kind to your shy, sensitive soul, embrace it and nourish the gifts it gives you. You may view it as your weakness, but it’s also your greatest asset. A wise woman once told me, “What you resist, persists.” Once you stop fighting against your shy side and demeaning it, you can start tapping into its magic. You will then find your voice and liberate your true potential. You will shine and sparkle as only you can. Your imperfections are your perfection.

In the words of Pink:

Pretty pretty please, don’t you ever ever feel

Like you’re less than, less than perfect.

Pretty pretty please, if you ever ever feel like you’re nothing

You’re perfect to me!

Liz Longacre is the founder of Your Time Travels, a travel company for animal lovers. Do you use your skills to help animals? Check out Liz’s April contest for animal lovers on her blog with several celebrity judges and over $3,000 worth of prizes!

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