My Home Birth Team
It’s a beautiful time in my life. I’m six months pregnant and feeling blissful beyond belief about my plan to have a home birth attended by my husband, midwife and doula. It’s going to be the ultimate birth team! I have no fear of childbirth and actually view it as an exciting rite of passage. I have confidence in my body and baby to do what we women have been doing since the beginning of time. A home birth is natural, healthy and empowering.
Midwives have been helping with home births for a long time. In fact, a majority of births in many parts of the world are home births assisted by midwives. Hospitals may be necessary in some cases, but not all. Most healthy women can birth successfully in the comfort of their own homes and in some cases have better outcomes than if they went to the hospital.
When I tell people I’m planning a home birth, I get looks ranging from shock to disbelief. Then I find myself rattling off statistics to support my choice–one of which is that the United States has some of the highest infant and maternal mortality rates in the developed world. Furthermore, US Cesarean section rates continue to climb at an alarming rate accounting for almost a third of all deliveries. That’s double what the World Health Organization says is safe for moms and babies.
The bottom line is that I feel a home birth is the best thing for me to do. I am so excited to bring our baby into this world gently and softly. It’s going to be a wonderful harmonious experience. On the contrary, the pain we often see portrayed on TV, or from women birthing in hospitals, isn’t an accurate picture of what the human body is capable of in a more relaxed, comfortable and secure setting. There might be pain, but there might not be much pain. I don’t mind either way. I’m confident that if there is pain, it won’t be the kind seen on TV or heard about from women with hospital horror stories. One of the reasons for this is simply that stress – of any kind – prolongs or even suspends labor.
As a home-birthing mom I can avoid stressors found in a hospital such as, an unfamiliar uncomfortable environment, harsh lights, cold hands, poking and prodding from total strangers when personnel change shifts, or the pressure to undergo surgery. The home-birthing mother can change positions when she’s in labor, walk around, take a bath (whether to lounge or even to give birth in water), dance, sing, eat, drink, wear her own clothes (or no clothes at all), be romantic with her husband, listen to music playing softly with candles lit and dim the lights (or heck, she can even have Nine Inch Nails playing in the background if she wants). She can have her doula or birth partner use acupressure or massage to help relieve pain. Mom and Baby can do things on their schedule, not the doctor’s, not the hospital’s. Baby can come when Baby is ready, and Mom is empowered.
Having a doula attend my birth is important. I would hire a doula whether I planned a home birth or hospital birth. A doula’s calming effect on birth is impressive. According to DONA International, “The word doula comes from ancient Greek, meaning ‘a woman who serves’ and now refers to a trained and experienced professional who provides continuous physical, emotional and informational support to the mother before, during and just after birth; or who provides emotional and practical support during the postpartum period. Studies have shown that when doulas attend birth, labors are shorter with fewer complications, babies are healthier, and they breastfeed more easily.” I hired our doula months before we even tried to conceive! I’m glad I did. Over time, we’ve built an amazing relationship with a bond that is hard to describe. I’m so grateful she’s been a part of our journey and will be there when our baby is born.
I mentioned previously that my birth team consists of my midwife, doula and husband. A lot of people think they won’t need a doula because the husband is present, but this idea underestimates the doula’s role.. The doula not only supports the mother during birth, she is there to support the father as well. My husband will be my main birth companion, and I will lean on him a lot. As a result, I suspect he is going to get tired and need a break (or two!). Our doula can step in during these times. But that’s not all. Our doula has many tricks up her sleeve and plenty of experience in childbirth, which my husband doesn’t have. This makes her a special part of our team with an important role.
Although my plan is to birth at home, there might be circumstances that require going to a hospital. In that event, I have created a birth plan to be followed. My doula and midwife will serve as advocates on my behalf. If the hospital is resistant to any of my requests, no big deal; let ‘em talk to my team while I focus on other things.
I want my childbirth to be a beautiful and amazing experience. I’m stacking the deck in my favor by taking control of the situation, my environment and my team by having my home birth attended by a midwife, doula and my husband. And I’m doing many other things that are not widely known, or are considered “alternative,” such as eating an extremely healthy, high raw, vegan diet, having my birth plan written in advance, taking hypnobirthing classes and more. For pregnant women reading this, or women who may become pregnant in the future, realize there are many options to consider and that you have much more control over your birthing experience and outcome than you may have been taught.
36 Comments
YES! I want to do the same thing when I have babies but I hate the feeling when people look at you like you’re crazy for doing something natural and has been done for thousands of years.
Kristen is the best! I love this article. Such great information & positivity!
I am reading the book “Pushed: The Painful Truth About Childbirth and Modern Maternity Care” right now, and it is totally fascinating. Birthing at a hospital has now become the norm for the vast majority of women in the U.S. – but all women should know that they have a choice, and they should birth where they feel comfortable, empowered, supported, and safe!
P.S. Beautiful picture! I love the baby bump! :)
I had a hospital birth and it was HORRIBLE – they wouldn’t even let me sit when I wanted to sit. I knew I had to be there because I had fibroids that prevented a vaginal birth.
Beautiful post from a beautiful lady!!! I am learning so much from you Kristen!! Maybe one day our little ones can play together! :)
Good post! I’m nowhere near having kids myself but I already know I want to have them at home with a team like yours. I can’t wait!
I too am 6 months pregnant, and I am considering whether I should hire a doula. Although I’m going to have the baby in the hospital, I would like a doula there to serve as my advocate and not rush into a c-section. Any insight on where I can find a database of doulas so I can find one near me?
What is the difference between a doula and a midwife?
Hi Azura,
I read Ina May’s books about a year even before conceiving. :)
Thanks Jess, you’re so awesome!!
Lauren, that sounds like a plan sista!
Hi Samantha, the midwife is clinical, she is there to actually assist in the birth (or delivery) of the baby. She handles the stuff an M.D. would.
The doula is there for emotional, mental, spiritual, as well as physical support. She can massage your back, get you water or food, advocate on your behalf, and do everything she can to help you be as comfortable as possible.
Hi Deena,
Yes, I HIGHLY recommend a doula at the hospital!!!! Check http://dona.org
I so agree with this approach to birthing! I would have definitely had a doula if I’d had any children (my hubby would probably be as stressed as I was–doula needed to keep me sane!). You really do look like you are glowing–congrats and I’m sure it will go smoothly!
Beautiful post Kristen. I’ll come back to this when the time is right for me and Mark.
Thanks for sharing this with us
OMG I LOVE YOUR BUMP!!!!!!
you are so cute!
I know all will be great with the birth. I was a bit chicken and opted for a dr in a hospital who honored all my requests.. and it was a wonderful experience. Doula’s are so great to have!
what a lucky baby!
deb
Thanks Debbie and Denise :)
XOXO!
Hi Karen, I found you in google blogs when I searched for home birth! It’s great to see a positive out look on home birthing from The US (I’m in The UK) and I wasn’t aware that The US had such a high infant mortality rate until I read your post. I am 19 weeks and I have a very supportive midwife who is leading my care through the pregnancy and birth (she even helped me plan where in my front room my birth pool will go during her last visit!), when I had my first daughter there was no continuity of care and it all felt too clinical, it resulted in a ventouse delivery, something I am desperate to avoid this time around. I can’t wait to have a more natural experience this time.
Good luck and I can’t wait to read more about your birth :).
Thank you for this wonderful, uplifting post on becoming a Mom! I am trying to conceive (through IVF)and I am so looking forward to making all of these choices. Thank you for sharing! I wish there were more posts about fertility and birthing, it is crazy and sext too!
LOL, I meant sexy! :)
A good friend of mine just had a water home birth. She let me watch her home video last week and it was a beautiful experience. Her, the baby, and her husband looked safe and happy.
Congratulations to you!
Hi Shannon,
You might not know, but we conceived via Mini-IVF. This particular baby was actually a natural transfer without drugs, but prior to that we harvested a couple of eggs. It’s all detailed on my blog if you search under “fertility adventure”
Good luck!!!
Thanks Kenzie and Laura :)
I can’t have children but If I could I would not want to do it in a hospital I don’t think. One of my nieces had her two sons at home with a midwife & doula and her husband. No problems and a great experience. I appauld your decision.
Conscious Birthing Baby!!! Good for you! Check out what the women in Russia are doing! Google Conscious Birthing Black Sea. Get ready for wild dolphins! Beautiful!
Great post Kristen! I was a labor and delivery RN and am now a doula in NYC and I 100% agree that you have created a wonderful team (including the star–you!) and will have a beautiful empowered birth. It’s so wonderful to see women get the information they need to make the decisions that are right for their births and families. Best wishes for your homebirth, and look forward to your birth story!
Be well,
Andrea Crossman
Holistic RN & Doula
i think her home birth idea is the best delivery method. however i was turned off to kristen early on. she was so obsessed with having a baby. even before she got married, that is all she talked about on her blog. it’s sad when a woman puts all her dreams into having a kid. why can’t women have dreams beyond children? she depresses me
Thanks for the kind compliment, Andrea! :)
Hi Melissa, don’t mistake being on a mission for a single hope and dream in life. As it happens, when I first mentioned it the response was so strong that I realized what I was learning could help a lot of other women. I wouldn’t read so much into it. ;)
Thank you for sharing this with us. You look amazing.. Blessings, Marina :)
I applaud the home birth, but as a renter, not an owner yet (just moved to MA) I am giving birth in a hospital. For those of you in Boston area, I have been continually impressed with the maternity ward at Newton-Wellesley hospital. They lean heavy towards midwives for low-risk pregnancy and have all the bells and whistles already in place that I was looking for…birthing balls, squat stick, freedom to wear what you want, move around as you please, labor in big bath tubs (unfortunately no water births as this time), complete respect of birth plans (or hopes and wishes since I have been advised that birth really shouldn’t be “planned”), and the list goes on and on. Finally, a hospital setting that “gets” it.
Thanks for sharing, I so enjoyed reading your post:)
Good for you! As a first time mom who birthed at home, I felt really guarded leading up to my due date. My fiance and I didn’t tell many people about our plans…the phone calls after she was successfully born at home were received with shock, awe, and a lot of respect. Good luck to you!
Congratulations on the coming baby and thank you for this post. I am not a mother (yet) but I have worked in childcare since my pre-teen years and worked as a full-time nanny for a few families now. I’ve heard too many horror stories about hospital births and women being pushed into decisions they would not have made in a less vulnerable state. My cousin’s wife chose home-birth after watching Ricki Lake’s video… check it out:
http://www.thebusinessofbeingborn.com/
Best wishes to you Kristen – we look forward to hearing your birth story and seeing pictures of your beautiful baby!!!
I think it’s great that you are having your baby at home! And, go ahead and confidently tell everyone and anyone who will listen! I had all three of my babies at home back in 1981, 84 and 87 and it is something that my kids now proudly tell their friends. There is so much fear around childbirth that when you tell someone you are having your baby at home it scares them. I am a photographer and I recently spent a year photographing newborn babies at a local hospital here in the Chicago area. It was ironic really that I ended up working on the maternity ward and as I went from room to room I couldn’t believe how exhausted and worn out the mothers looked. And, while C-sections are considered major surgery they are accepted as a normal everyday occurrence. You would think that after all these years homebirths would have become the accepted way. Trust your intuition and be confident and relaxed in your knowing that all will be well and it will be!
Enjoy this special time!
YAY! I love your enthusiasm for your upcoming birth. It sounds like you have a great birth team assembled and I know you will enjoy your birth! :)
You are a joke. Self-absorbed takes on a new meaning after reading your blog. Celebrate your child, not yourself.
I strictly recommend not to hold back until you earn enough money to order all you need! You should just get the business loans or just credit loan and feel comfortable
That’s great Kristen! Love the positivity.
A great book to read about homebirths is Ina May’s Guide to Childbirth, by Ina May.
It’s full of accounts by women who attended her homebirth centre. They write honestly about how they felt. Most of all, they, like you said – felt empowered.
Here’s to positivity!
March 3, 2010