Topic: using sunscreens. natural ones, or unnatural ones.

Refined topic: using sunscreens, natural or unnatural, with when living with cancer.

I find this vlog a little misleading – asking for help doesn’t mean you will get it. I know she is trying to be positive but the reality is, not everyone will want to help you all the time, and often they will say no – so be prepared for it. I have been struggling with mental health and personal issues for quite some time now, and I have asked for help from many people in many places – and the majority of the answers are ‘no’. Even the hospital turned me away when I was suicidal – and where do you go after that? So yes, asking for help is important, but being able to deal with the resulting (possible) rejection is just as important.

I would love to hear about the transition from the SAD to plant based/raw/etc. It’s been a long transition for me and I’ve been back and forth so much, needing different things for different times in my life. How do we make sense of it all while moving towards a healthy diet?

I am going to burn my cape today! Thank you so much, Kris! You are an inspiration. I look forward to seeing you at the end of each week.
Rock on!

Hey Kris,

Thanks for the much needed reminder! Can you talk more about meditation? I keep trying and I never seem to be able to last for more than 2 – 3 minutes!

my problem is after receiving help i feel like i owe the person more than i really do, and yes the perfectionist has a real hard time with cancer, now you have to deal with being off work, treatment, looking like the cat dragged you in, the house looking like sh**well i gave up, burned the cape, relaxed, meditated but every stage we push harder we need this little reminder…I love your words Kris…you make us feel ok to be real…and that is Awesome! you Rock sista!!

THANK YOU for this message this morning. I was just talking about this exact topic with a friend yesterday, and it resonates deeply…

Thank you for the message. It is hard asking for help. I rarely asked for help or support when my daughter arrived. I have learned a lot since then. Anne is right, not everyone can help. But, I have learned not to take that personally. There are a lot of times my boyfriend can help when I ask, and other times he cannot because of his own issues with his own kids at his house. Just like I have learned that it’s okay for me to say no to requests, I have to expect that sometimes people will tell me no. It took me a long time to realize it’s okay to ask, and it’s okay to sometimes say no. Peace!

Loved it – as always! When I was in the middle of chemo and still doing it all, one of my friends actually said, “Get this woman a friggin
cape already!” At the time I was so proud of my bad ass self – now I see how it was detrimental in a lot of ways…
Another topic – getting started on journaling- I bought this beautiful journal and it just is sitting there with all those blank pages staring at me! LOL Love all the other ideas too!
Have an awesome weekend!
Love ya – Jeanné

Topic: Guilt. Often times when trying to be an open and caring person I tend to let other people’s issues/opinions/jealousy/whatever weigh me down and ultimately question myself and feel guilty for who I am/how I react/my own thought process. This relates anywhere from my close friends to my family, from a religious upbringing etc. How do you maintain loving bonds while staying true to yourself, and getting rid of the guilt? Hope that made sense haha!

xox

Thanks Kris!! It’s so true about asking for help. I think I developed that fear in university because you didn’t want to be the “dumb” one who asked a stupid question. Yet, I’m learning to listen to myself and if something doesn’t make sense I try to get clarification.
Have a wonderful weekend:)

Brilliant Unicorn, I adore you! (And I was just talking about this same exact issue yesterday!!!!!!)
xoxox

Ask for help from a loved one. If you try to do it yourself (and be a superhero) you will be lonely. And worse, so will your loved one. When someone asks me for help a connection is made and we share the space. If someone doesn’t ask me to help I feel shut out. Hard times are hard enough without adding relationship problems that come from isolation. When my husband sees that I am getting discouraged he is wise enough (and a bit of a martyr!) to say, “Honey, I need some help – do you have any advice?”and I rally to the deed. Isn’t that a lovely, loving way to include and energize your loved one?
Thanks for the fun vlogs (and the help), Kris!
Joyce

Kris, can you address how to help a friend who has been diagnosed with cancer? I feel so helpless! I know what to do when sh has the flu, or wrecks her car, or goes through a breakup. But this?…..I just don’t know what will help. I bought her your books, but would love any other advice you could offer.

Thanks Kris, I always forget this and end up getting mad when my hubby doesn’t even know why! :) Opps! :) “Help..I need somebody..help..not just anybody”–totally in my head all day now! HA HA!

Burn the f’n Cape! I love it! Thank you so much for these friday vlogs…you are such an inspiration! Wellness warriors unite! xo

I love wht you’re doing, Kris! and I’m so going to start juicing for life.
I’m bugged by what Anne said, though, and just want to let her know that there is always a reason folk say ‘no’…mostly because they may not be well enough equipped to help, and you should keep asking, because the Universe always gives you what you need…like it or not, like life: it has a purpose.

Love your Vlogs Kris!! I would like your take on letting people in. How do you decide who and when to let in? How much self protection is healthy when your ill?

I have not just been working on burning the effin cape.Im throwing out the phonebooth that I used to change in to it in!!I have attracted more caring love and support than I could have ever imagined just by putting out the honest heartfelt energy.Big lesson for this wonder woman:}

Topic for a vlog? Journaling! Sounds easy enough, but it’s daunting to us newbies.

The Vlog on asking for help really hit home! As women I feel we naturally take TOO much on in our quest to be if not perfect but even good enough……
Great reminder that shedding the “cape” not only drops our burdens but also lets others know that is it OK to reach out and ASK!
Great reminder! Thanks Kris!

Hi Kris! I would love to hear you discuss how one can stay disciplined with a vegan lifestyle, especially in the food dept. It’s so easy to fall off the wagon and run to those comfort foods and stay there.. :( also another topic about how to make the dollar stretch when buying organic foods.. so hard when on limited income. THANKS Kris, you’re the best. Peace & blessing to you…

FABULOUS! The other side of that coin is learning how to say “no” in the first place…lonnnng time learning that one! And you know what? You BECOME the superwoman you would like everyone to think you are, because they see that you take care of yourself FIRST!! And people admire that. Love the Vlogs…f bombs and all!

I’m new.
I like the Vlog talking about vulnerability, but early on you say that if we ask for what we need, that “not only will we get it, but we make it possible for other people to ask for what they want.”
Please address the assumption “we will get it.” What if the other person is tapped out too? What if they turn to us and say exactly the same thing?
Also, I think you said “ask for what we need.” I would ask how you define need verses want.
Thank you.
Happy Coyote

Thank you…. thank you, thank you, thank you for this vlog! This is me – you have described my life recently and I needed to stop and listen to this. So much of my problem is and has been not being kind enough to myself to allow for things like personal time or REST… But it’s important, I know it and I hear you — so thanks again, I really needed to hear this tonight! xxx!

Kris, thank you for asking for our input. This vlog of yours is wonderful. I would love to hear about not letting other people’s negative emotions bring you down. I am so much more positive than my family and friends, and I need to be for my health. Sometimes I try to make them see the positive side and they get mad, or take what I’m saying as me not understanding their problems. For example, my aunt, mother and sister constantly say negative things about their bodies.I try to tell them that they are beautiful and it’s not worth worrying over, everybody ages. I’m just trying to be happy! Do you have any insight?

I love this Vlog! Just last night, I got so fed up and told my hubby he doesn’t help, no one helps, he just sits and watches me,,,peck peck peck! He told me I never asked for help! I just always assumed he will just know!
A request for a up coming vlog,,, journeling AND maybe how to start a vision board? Maybe how to handle anxiety?
What kind of makeup you wear, if any? Your skin looks AWESOME! (I.m sure the juicing is helping!)
Love ya Kris!

Thank you Kris! Great topic, good reminder. I must say I agree with Misti above when she says she feels like she ‘owes’ the person who has helped-I feel this too!! Repayment is huge, and the guilt of them helping is sometimes not worth the asking, this is something I must work on, but if you feel like touching on this subject again from this angle I would love to hear your take on it. Have a wonderful week! looking forward to your Friday vlog!

I’ve been thinking about your comment that we should “take off our superwoman capes when things get out of hand and ask for help. Not only will we get help, hopefully, but it allows others to ask for help as well.”

I agree that we should take of the superwoman cape. Let’s take off our superwoman capes before things get out of hand.

We need to take honest inventory of ourselves. How much energy do I have, what do I need to get done, what is important to me? If we don’t take honest inventory, then we run the risk of playing really hard and then dumping the actual necessary duties, like meals or cleanup, on partners or friends. I don’t think having cancer or diabetes or anxiety is an excuse.

When my second child was born, I was working more than full time. I was on call every third night and weekend. When I had a day off, I would look forward to it and think, “I will organize the photographs, call my friend Joyce, go running and get out my summer clothes.” What would I get done on that day off? Nearly nothing. Certainly not the long list of things that I had daydreamed about in the spaces between the minutes at work.

At last I sat down and thought about the necessary duties on the weekends. Two children. They and I need to be clean. We need to wash clothes. Clean up the house and toys. Three meals a day, that many people in the world would envy. Sleep. Pay bills. Do dishes. And they’ve missed me at work, so a lot of interaction. The lawn needs to be mowed or snow shoveled. The piles of projects on the desk grew higher. If we went out of town for a weekend, the problem was exacerbated: really, the next weekend was payback. At last I realized that I couldn’t plan to “organize the photos”. I would think about my projects and pick one. Just one for a two day weekend and I would plan to do a tiny part of that project. I could, it turned out, do that. And then when I returned to work, I didn’t feel deprived any more, because I had a more realistic idea of what I could and couldn’t get done.

Vacations were stressful too and out of hand by the time we had two children. I thought about that too. Again, everyone needs to get clean, get dressed, have meals, clean up, there is travel time. I made a rule for travel: no more than three events planned in a day. Staying with my mother-in-law, we’d plan dinner together, I wanted to see my aunt, my mother-in-law wanted to take us to the bookstore. That, or take the children to the pool? That was enough and still sometimes almost too much. Setting limits and staying within them.

My father’s rule has been useful: “If you get 1/3 of the things done in a day that you planned, you are doing well.” Try it. Take a piece of paper and write everything down that you are planning to get done in a day. That includes meals and showers. Sometimes my lists have more than 20 things: post office, dry cleaning, bills, filing, vacuum upstairs, bike ride, dinner with friends, letter writing, and on and on. When I write it all out, it looks silly. How could I ever have thought to get all of that done in a day? I would make myself crazy if I tried and failed. Instead, I prioritize the list. Count the items? I can get 1/3 done. Which are most important? Which can wait? The meals can’t wait, the post office, the laundry does need to be done because we are all out of socks. The dinner plans are important. I try to have a mix of necessary and fun things. I pick my list. I pick the order. And then I go about my day. I might get one thing on the list done that I didn’t prioritize: that feels like something extra. A bonus. I get the third that I picked done usually. And I am happier because I have chosen what to do and I have been realistic.

I have a friend who is always asking for help. Funny, she never needs help with the fun stuff on her list. She needs help with laundry and dishes and moving and money. Everyone needs help sometimes and a crisis can come up for anyone. But if it is a continuous pattern of not being able to budget time and energy for the normal duties of everyday living, that is not responsible. This person is not being realistic about their energy level, what they can do and can’t do. And they are dumping the chores that they don’t like on other people. “Help me,” they say, “I’ve let myself get over scheduled again.” They seem amazed. If they think it’s wearing a superwoman cape to over schedule and not get the household jobs done, I wish they’d take it off. I really don’t want to add their chores to my list, thanks. Take off the cape.

Everyone has times in their life when they can get a lot done. And everyone has times when they are sick or are caring for someone. And we can be realistic about what is happening now.

Let’s burn the fucking cape and ask for help!! yipiii!!

topic: how to learn your gut instincts. today i was diagnosed with something i’d been telling the world what i thought i had for the last three months. i was three months ahead of all professionals who doubted me. HOW TO TELL THE DIFFERENCE WHEN I KNOW I’M RIGHT OR WHEN I’M BEING OVERWORRIED?

Hi Kris, absolutely love your stuff. My wife and I are vegan and we try to eat simple with little to no processed foods. We have a juicer and a vita-mix and we love green smoothies! However, juicing has become very expensive. Can you talk about organic vs. non-organic… particularly when we’re talking about the green smoothies and green juices? Thanks!

I would love to hear about the chemicals in personal care products and what we should avoid, especially when recovering from cancer.

Wonderful vlog. One question – isn’t profanity also negativity? I’ve read it, listened to lectures and teachings that point it out as bad form of stress relief and opposes health. Thoughts?