lovely vlog, thanks for this, I am taking you up on this homework assignment and will express this week! Good luck to you and to us all in our practice. I was drinking my green juice as I watched this :-) will get some wheatgrass growing today :-) wishing you all a super sunny Friday love Grace and Linus xxxxxxx

Well this certainly resonated with me… I have a horrible habit of keeping things in, assuming that those around me should KNOW what is churning in my brain. While I have healed a lot of the anger within me there is still some residue, and when it comes out it (as you said) in a boil. Not pleasant anyone. When these little things come up I vow to let the steam off, try to figure out what the TRUE issue is, and then discuss with myself and my partner. Thank you for sharing this Kris.

This vlog rocks! I will be practicing letting it “out the front door”. Love this and so true that we women keep the anger in. Let it out sisters!!

Awesome Kris! Anger is a “hot topic” that’s for sure! I think for so many people, especially women, there is a huge need for healthy assertiveness and expression of emotion… then you let it out regularly and it doesn’t reach the boiling point.
I agree that anger should be given our full attention because it is a sign to us that something is wrong! People feel ashamed of being angry, but anger itself is nothing to feel bad about. If it is expressed in the form of physical or verbal aggression and is harmful, then that is problematic. But the emotion itself tells us something: “I am not taking care of my needs”, “I feel used”, “This person should not be in my life”, etc…
Being assertive means communicating clearly and directly… turn towards someone instead of turning inwards or against them. If we assert our needs, then anger and resentment are not an issue!

Thanks for being so honest about your “shadow side”. It’s all good. :) I also have been thinking about getting a punching bag to blow off steam.

For anger, I like to use a bit from neuro-emotional technique (NET). Line up your right fingers along the inside of your left wrist (right index finger on left wrist crease), press down with your middle finger only (get it?); without moving your right hand,place your left palm on your forehead and feel your anger til it runs out! Energy cleared!

Just what I needed. Had a meltdown w/ insurance co’s, doc,medical supply co Hertz rentals yesterday when no one would help me get ready for my son’s surgery. Ended up weeping down the street, realizing I’m not sure I want him to have the surgery.

Amen sista friend! I’ve been sleepless for several nights because thoughts of anger and frustration have been churning in my mind. Wanting to keep the ‘wonderful, balanced girlfriend’ image of myself alive and well I’ve been keeping it in instead of letting it show, and as I was laying in bed this morning (still angry, of course) I realized it was Friday! Vlog day! This vlog was the inspiration I needed to jump off the passive aggressive train and onto the healthy-self-expression bandwagon! Thanks for another great vlog girl. :)

Thank you Kris..
This came at a perfect time for me… Blessings, Marina :)

love this! i totally am that person who says, “no, nothings wrong, i’m fine…” i guess i have to practice too!

Wow! Thank you so much Kris.

It seems that every week you know what I need to hear. This is a point I really need to work on (especially in close relationships – which I especially don’t express anger in).

Thank you so much again & keep the vlogs acommin’!

I acutally have to practice “Scream Therapy” once in a while, where I just let out a huge scream in the car or somewhere safe when things get overwhelming or I’m super angry. I admit I had to do this last night in addition to taking a walk.

Kris, Every week your honesty refreshes my mind and soul. Marina, I agree with you. This post could not have come at a better time. Thank you, thank you, thank you!

If I am really angry – and this is not too often (my wife might differ) – I usually punch the wall or something else (non-living) which either hurts my hand or the wall or both and immediately diffuses the situation.

Great vlog, Kris! I seem to let everyone know when I am angry..lol! I can’t keep it in!! Sometimes, I need to tone it down. But I would never do what that stranger did to you, it’s only my family that gets it! :)

Thank you, Kris. This truly was a message I think we can all appreciate. I have plenty of anger issues, but I do push the anger down. I think that woman was way out of line. I hope she happens to have been one of your readers who was just having a truly bad day, and who also happens to see your vlog! Awesome message, Kris!

This was such perfect timing!! I had one of those moments this week and I didn’t handle it very well! Letting it out in a “healthy” way is hard for me..and so this was a great homework assignment! Thanks Kris and keep up the great work:)

LOVED your Anger Vlog. It was very inspiring. It made me think of a life-changing book I read many years ago- The Dance of Anger by Harriet Lerner.
I’m really glad you’re doing these Vlogs.

Oh, Kris! Look at YOU kicking some meanies butt. Got in your face AND poked you? OOh. Had I been there, well…you know my red-headed short fuse would have been on FIRE! Good for you for not taking her crap. AND, great advice to all of us who have swallowed emotions in favor of not rocking the boat. Ive dont it my whole life and then, bam! fuse ignited. Not good for my heart, head, health! Thanks for the reminder to keep speaking up. You rock, mama! xo, M

The about was from moi! xo!

Anger is something I hide from. I am one of the girls who say, “Nope…I’m fine. Nothing’s wrong.” I did it the other night talking to my boyfriend. I will let anger sit in side for so long that it does boil out and it’s not pretty It is something I really need to work on. Thanks for bringing it up.

You are a sheer delight~

Love this love this love this. I am also a teacher who spreads joy and love and light…but I also have anger that has come out in ways I am not proud of. Thanks for reminding us that anger is o.k. and to express ourselves in healthy ways. A very positive way to express anger is to dance. Turn up your favorite song and dance until your legs hurt. What you feel afterwards will be euphoric and cleansing!!! Thank you Kris! :)

WOW! That’s me! I’m that person that keeps everything bottled inside to try and make everyone else feel better, less upset, more positive, etc. You made me really think about what that bottled up anger/frustration/resentments are doing to my mind, body and spirit. While helping to lift up others makes me happy, I know that I have to come first. My happiness first……..everyone else’s second. Thanks Kris for a great vlog!

Love this vlog and it resonated w me bc I had some anger issues just this morning! Thanks for your honesty Kris.

Ditto on the WOW!!!! Grateful I discovered your VLOG’s.

Thank you Kris…boy you hit the nail on the head with this one, at least for me. I have pushed down and back SO much anger in the last two years. Little dabs here and there and now it’s huge. I will truly work on letting it out the ‘front door’ as you suggest…I need to let it go. I won’t go into details because it would be a book…but with a husband that is on the down hill side of his challenge with squamous cancer…I really do need to let this anger have a real rest, not just be hidden and then hopefully I will be well enough for the final ‘good-bye’ without bitterness and rage staying within my soul, when I have to let my lover go.
Again, thank you…I could never tell you in a million words how much you have helped me.

Hi Kris,

Thank you! Front door and wheat grass, I am in!

Good advice Mrs Kris. . .

Unexpressed feelings don’t go away, they come out sideways and often when you least expect it.

But, like you said, that doesn’t mean going “postal.”

It means being responsible with our feelings and for our feelings and expressing them clearly in the moment.

Much easier said than done, especially with the white hot ones.

It’s all about practice. Authenticity, PRACTICE and often, apology.

Just keeps getting better and better. I can be pretty nasty too when I hold it in. I’m always “fine.” ;)

that was awesome! thank you so much. you are a delight to watch and listen to. i’m taking on your homework assignment!

Hey Kris,
I am usually pretty mellow, but when I do loose it, it usually is in a big way! LOL I am looking forward to taking your advice this week – letting of all of it will be a challenge, but I am gonna go for it!
J

LOVE THAT TOPIC!! Thank you, and great heart felt story- haven’t we all been there! Unicorns get angry too :) LOVE YOU!

ANGER!!! Yikes. I asked my dad if they were still using the punching bag in the basement. Since they are not, I requested that it be placed in my house. I will release my anger onto the punching bag. Then, I will kiss my dogs!!

Kris,

Thanks for sharing! Your honesty is inspiring! I think it’s difficult for us as women to admit to an “uglier” side, but all of us have it and if we try to suppress it, it comes out. Like my yoga teacher said recently, if you push against something it pushes right back. The key is to embrace it (like your homework assignment!) and find a way to release it in a healthy way.

Your recommendations remind me (in a good way) of when I was a kid growing up. My best buddy and I would sometimes look at each other if it was “one of those days*. Then one or the other of us would say “don’t you just want to scream”? At which point, we’d head down to the hockey field and we would scream. It could work wonders and also feel so good. Liberation baby!

Wow! I needed to hear this! I’ve always been one to suppress anger. I analysis things too much, and give the other person too much credit most of the time. Lately, I’ve noticed my “filter system” for saying what is in my head is down. I think after going through cancer, and treatment I feel like, what is the other person going to do to me that’s as bad as going through the shit I’ve been through. It’s quit liberating, but I do want to let my anger out in a healthy way….through the “front door”…I like that. Thank you!

Thanks so much, Kris. Very timely for me. I am someone who definintely could use some anger management. I have no problem letting it out.. what I need to work on is the healthy way of doing it. So, Thanks, thanks thanks!!!!!

Hey Kris,
i just discovered your website. Keep up that wonderful sparkly connection you have to people…its catching and very positive. Its a great message…Thanks a million

Kris, I love the Vlogs! Keep ‘em coming! :) This, especially, is so valuable. Trying to be “the best me I can be” and dealing with what I perceive are “negative” emotions is a constant balance. Let It Out the Front Door is my new mantra. Thanks!

hey kris-
LOVED your vlog! you are radiant and still a sparkly unicorn girl even when you throw down on 14th and 6th! (how i wish i had been the hanging pine tree shaped air thing on the rear view mirror!) So true about getting it out without getting arrested and actually getting arrested might be preferably to rotting from the inside out!! i feel empowered by your honest awesome funny advice as always! thanks pal- keep em’ comin’!
xo
tc

Wish I had been the rear view mirror that Terri was hanging on! You never cease to crack me up. You are so not anything like the entitled person that you were challenged with. Glad to see you holding your own with those who step “one toke over the line”…I don’t think that anyone would come close to judging you for what you did. If anything, your “fans” would have kicked some ass for you…big time! xo

Great assignment! I definitely bottle up everything even though I know it’s not good for me. Working on this immediately :)

Great vlog, Kris! I have a technique for letting out anger, when it might not be possible or appropriate to tell the person/event which made you angry. Write! Last week I had a terrible situation with a “friend” who I can’t confront for various reasons. So, I wrote her an awesome letter where I let it all out, but it was just for me. I felt great after!

Expressing feelings can be both benefitial and freeing. My advice though is to always take a breath before you speak. That moment may allow you the time to think from a logical place instead of an emotional one when it counts.

Your advise and challenge could not have come at a better time. Thanks Kris xoxo

This really struck a chord with me.