Drinking: Enhancing or Hindering Your Life’s Potential?
As a life coach and licensed psychotherapist I am very familiar with alcohol issues. How do you know if your relationship to alcohol is unhealthy? In my opinion there is no “one size fits all” answer. I used to say if you think about booze more than you do broccoli, then you might have a problem. Now I say if your alcohol use has any negative impact on the quality of your life, your health or your relationships, that it’s a problem regardless of your level of consumption. I know people who drink daily but don’t have a problem and I also know people who binge drink once a month and do. Keep in mind that alcohol use and abuse is a hot button issue for many, and the opinions expressed here are solely from my own personal experience and observation.
So how do you know if you have an issue with alcohol? Below are a few questions that may illuminate your situation. Ask yourself honestly:
-Do you think you have a problem?
-Do you drink even after having been drunk and hungover?
-Do you drink even after you have firmly stated that you will not?
-Have you tried to stop drinking but found you could not do it?
-Have you heard from more than one person in your life that your drinking concerns them?
-Do you act in self-destructive ways when you are drunk (i.e.: fighting with a partner, driving while under the influence, becoming violent)?
-Do you see drinking as a “reward” for working hard?
-Is drinking the way you celebrate AND mourn?
-Do you “black out” or lose memory when intoxicated?
If you have answered the above questions honestly and have come to the conclusion that drinking negatively impacts your life in some way, the next step is to understand the desires that drive your alcohol consumption. This understanding is crucial before deciding on a course of action that is right for you.
Deepak Chopra wrote a great book, Freedom From Addiction, which is really insightful and provides a spiritual take on the Twelve steps of Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Dr. Chopra believes that we are addicted to anything because, “We are not living from our source; we have lost our connection to our soul.” I believe this to be true. Living in the past or the future is living in non-reality, so his suggestion to get committed to a daily meditation practice (be here now) is a sound one.
Many “Type A” overachievers find relaxing or unplugging from the daily demands almost impossible without alcohol. The problem with using alcohol as a coping technique is that it does not allow you to develop an actual skill set to handle life and problems. If you have been using alcohol since your teens or twenties to numb pain, your problem-solving skill set may have emotionally arrested at that age. I find that many clients who stop drinking even as an experiment or to “detox” their mind experience a massive amount of anxiety and difficulty sleeping, so they usually want to abandon the “experiment.” Self-medicating through drinking is often inspired by an anxiety disorder and, once the alcohol is removed, only then can we appropriately address the anxiety to make needed changes. Complications in life due to alcohol abuse also slow or completely stop the progress of psychological and spiritual growth. We end up endlessly dealing with the self-created crisis situations and never get to the original injury. This cycle can go on forever.
AA has been around for so long because it works. I wrote my Master’s thesis on the therapeutic properties of the 12-Step Program. There are AA meetings in every city in this country. I find AA works for clients who have truly hit their bottom and have lost much of what is important to them. Complete abstinence is the only choice. I find AA too stringent and less effective for people with alcohol issues who remain relatively high functioning in their lives. I have successfully helped these clients employ a “harm reduction” technique. This basically entails analyzing their behavior and consumption when really damaging episodes occur in their life and using this information as a guide. I once had a client who could not drink hard alcohol without dire consequences but did not have the same experience while consuming wine or beer. I have also had clients try “harm reduction” to no avail. The goal was then to help them decide whether or not alcohol was meant to be a part of their life—or not—and then plan accordingly.
At the end of the day, whether you want to or not, you know the truth. My only job is to help people get what they want out of life. I reserve judgment completely. You are the only one responsible for your happiness and health, so ultimately it is your decision. If you need help, get into therapy, go to AA, get knowledgeable about the medical model of addiction and create the life you desire.
Since it’s your life I will conclude by asking, as I always do:
-If not you…who?
-If not now…when?
Wishing you peace on your journey with the deep down knowledge that I know you have everything you need within you right now to create the life experience you seek. I think you are worth the effort.
Love Love Love,
Your Crazy Sexy Life Coach-Terri
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11 Comments
Thank you for this post, Terri. I grew up with an alcoholic mother, so this hits home. I do not drink, mostly because of my disease, but also because I don’t like what it does to people. I didn’t know about that book from Deepak, I am going to buy it just to have. I know my mother would never read it, but it’s worth a shot. :) She’s been sober for a year, so big ups to her! :)
This is a great article post! Drinking will enhance your life only temporarily and in the long run give you more suffering than success.
As someone who has 13 years, 2 months and 10 days sobriety, I can appreciate the article. Alcoholism is a killer of dreams, souls and bodies. I followed A.A. but will have to check out what Deepak Chopra wrote as well. You can never learn too much – that’s my life motto!
I have had thoughts here and there that I may have to be careful with alcohol. I haven’t had a drink so far all year, and I must say I do think about it more often than I should. But I’ve made rules for myself and I plan to keep them.
Thank you for the timely article. I have been seriously rethinking my alcohol use. Particularly whether or not it relieves my anxiety. I think I have realized that when I decide to drink, I am anticipating a certain feeling or effect, but most of the time it doesn’t come. I hate the way my body feels after a night of drinking, so it just doesn’t seem worth it anymore. The alternative seems to be that I must face my anxiety and allow myself to “develop a skill set” to cope, as you said. I think it WILL come, in time.
Thank you for addressing this as an aspect of health: mental, emotional, and physical. I find that abstaining from drugs and alcohol is one of the healthiest practices in my life.
I have been a silent observer on this blog for a very long time. This post has broken my silence. I am so grateful to see a mention of sobriety and a nod to AA. AA saved my life over six years ago, and my path in AA is what brought me to veganism, natural health and raw food.
I have not found a lot of people in AA or raw/vegan community who are on both these paths, so they have been separate compartments in my life. It is not frequent that at 25 year old vegan breaching into raw foods is also a die-hard member of the 12-step community, but I’m here waiting for the others to find me!
Bravo Terri thanks so much for sharing
so glad this resonated…there are many many people you know who just don’t drink because it is bad for their life…period. i love this brave and curious group!!
love love love
your crazy sexy life coach
terri
Never drank and never will.
As an immigrant from one of the former Soviet Republics I have seen enough.
This is a great article. New to AA and also Type A (A minus?), this makes a lot of sense. Who knew Deepak Chopra wrote on the subject? I can see how can get on the self-created crisis wagon and find it hard to get off. I notice that over half of the people in AA also smoke…maybe it’s just like that in Wisconsin or another self-medicating method? One foot in front of the other, right?
March 17, 2010