By Gabrielle Bernstein on July 7, 2010

Detour out of Fear

I once heard a live cover of the R. Kelly song, “What a Relief.” The unique iteration resonated with me deeply. The chorus goes:

“What a relief to know that we are one
What a relief that the war is over
What a relief to know that there’s an angel in the sky
What a relief to know that love is still alive”

I was overwhelmed by this performance. As I listened to the lyrics I felt a rush of love and chills pass through my body. I believed in the lyrics.

Then instantly, the singer took me out. He spoke over the music: “I love this song, but unfortunately R. Kelly’s lyrics are far from our reality.” I looked around the room and witnessed the audience dramatically separate from this fleeting encounter with love. It was too good to be true. A room full of hopeful people went back to their fearful “reality” when the singer reminded us of fear. This separation from love is the reason for our unhappiness.

The “reality” the singer spoke of was a reflection of his ego (fearful mind). Somewhere inside of him (and all of us) there is a voice that believes in loving lyrics. Though his fearful ego cannot survive in the light of the song.

We’ve all separated from love by choosing fear. We have fleeting moments of love, inspiration, and truth through a lyric, image, or in the presence of an infant. We sense love but don’t believe in it. We’ve saved our faith for fear, although deep inside us lives a quiet whisper reminding us that love is real.

Dissociation
In coaching sessions and lectures I’m asked, “How did I get stuck in negative patterns? Why am I so afraid of everything?” I respond, “Darlin’, you’re not alone.” Then I break it down: We were taught early to deny this inner voice of love (aka ~ing). It began with one fearful thought where we denied love and separated from our ~ing: “I’m not smart enough” or “Daddy left because he doesn’t like me.” The Course (A Course in Miracles) calls this dissociation a “decision to forget.” We were taught to fear the world through circumstances such as home life, school, television, and friends. Then by separating from love we gave birth to the ego, the inner voice of fear, creating a dark corner in our mind. This dark corner created two ways of thinking – the ego’s and the ~ing’s – that cannot coexist. Since our initial separation, the ego’s dark corner of our mind expanded through repetition. Once you have a taste of fear it’s hard to release. Replaying this thought led us to re-enact this fear in nearly every instant. It only took one “tiny mad idea” to separate our mind from truth and create the ego’s illusion.

The moment we chose the idea that fear was real we separated from our ~ing. The Course calls this the “detour into fear” and “decent from magnitude into littleness.” For instance, innocent children live with ease. Most have not undergone the separation, living like no one is watching. Fearless children believe in angels and oneness and have faith in love. Then the magnitude of their loving mind detours into fear and through the ego’s denial of love a delusional “reality” is created.

We were all innocent children who once believed in love and chose fear of almost everything, including our careers, relationships, family, and friends, and even that love could be real. Reconnecting with love for even a moment scares us, like the audience of hopeful listeners who so quickly reverted to fear when R. Kelly’s lyrics suggested real love. Instead of maintaining a feeling of love they checked out, thinking the song was a joke. But love never left us.

The Illusion
The moment we detoured into fear we created the ego – the wrong-minded attempt to perceive ourselves as we wish to be, rather than as we are. The Course calls the ego “a fearful thought.” The ego begins with a tiny mad idea that ignites the spark that becomes the fearful fire burning through our loving mind. The fear of this mad idea denies our truth and snowballs into an illusion that becomes our “reality.”

We all think we have “issues” in certain areas of our lives that are specific to us, although the only “issue” any of us have is fear.

Recognizing our ego’s fearful illusion is the first step away from your false reality and back to the way of love. Ask yourself what your illusion is.

Remembering
The truthful voice of our ~ing can only comprehend love, but love becomes an after thought and the voice of our ~ing has been muffled by fear. Our ~ing is merely a whisper in the midst of the ego’s inner riot. Most of the world functions from the illusion of the ego rather than the truth of their ~ing, although they remember a better way.

Before I restored my mind to love I denied my truth completely. I turned my back on my ~ing, but it guided me back. Before I hit bottom I experienced moments where I heard my ~ing fight my ego to restore my mind to truth. One week before I hit bottom and surrendered I heard a voice say, “This behavior isn’t you. It’s time to come home.” My ~ing was preparing me for my journey inward.

Your ~ing has been preparing you too. It guided you to this blog. Sometimes you need is a gentle nudge toward love that catapults an inner shift. Or in cases like mine the reminders are more in your face. Pay attention to the loving whisper in your mind that calls you home. It’s time to shine light on the illusion and honor your inner guide. The more you listen to your ~ing, the louder the voice will become

Photo Credit: Richard Drdul

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