30 and Unemployed
By Sierra Brasher
I have spent the last 30 years viewing the world from a standing position and believing that my career was a definition of who I am. This false perception misled me to thinking that it’s okay to allow fear and anxiety to rule my world, as long as it is in the name of “success.” I recently read that pandas upend themselves into handstands to show their peers that they are bamboo-thrashing beasts, not to be messed with. I think the panda bears have the right idea. When your world seems upside down, just reverse your position and life starts looking right-side up.
The day I graduated from college, I lost the title of “journalism student” and immediately began seeking another title that would gain credibility and acceptance both amongst my peers and, more importantly, with myself. Seven years later, I have a multitude of titles that were gained as I explored various paths to redefine this lost identity. I have been a writer for a fashion magazine in Austin, an Olympic tour operator in Greece and Italy, a surfboard sales rep in Orange County and, most recently, a BizDev gal for a video production company. And while each of these careers has been a part of my random adventure, they have more often caused stress and anxiety than passion and enlightenment. Just recently, I had an epiphany while practicing an inversion posture in yoga: Work does not define me. And with that realization, I put in notice with my employer and started practicing more random acts of handstands.
I know what you’re thinking—who would quit a perfectly good (paying!) job in the given economy without having a backup plan? People warned me that I better have something lined up before I cut my only source of income. But those people obviously didn’t know me very well. You see, I’m an all or nothing kind of gal. I give everything I have to my career, whatever it might be at that given moment in my life. I can’t be filling my days with deadlines, conference calls and meetings if I’m going to do this right. This is about me, and I need to focus on the things that make me tick. So, yes, I quit my job in the entertainment industry to enter a new phase of my life called “What do I want to be when I grow up?”
Of course, being the neurotic control freak that I am, I knew that to remain sane and open-minded during my unemployment, I would need to follow some basic healthy rules to keep me mentally and physically balanced. What would I do with my days? How would I keep myself from dying of boredom? And most importantly, how could I ensure that I made the best use of this time?
I started my blog, 30 and Unemployed, as a way to chronicle the highs and lows of being jobless in Orange County. I have used my blog as motivation for myself (and others) to keep my head up (or upside down, in some cases) and my eyes open to the world around me. Living in Laguna Beach, I am fortunate to be surrounded by beauty and year-round perfect weather, which allows me to partake in so many amazing, free activities—like surfing, running on the beach and rock climbing. On any given day, the ocean calls my name and lures me to play in its waves, and there is no excuse why I shouldn’t give in to this temptation.
I vowed to do something each day that makes me happy. I’ve spent my whole life trying to squeeze in time for yoga or surfing, and now that I have all the free time in the world, I don’t want to lose sight of the little things that make me smile. These little stress-relieving activities are part of what I have named my Happy List. Though yoga has been a consistent part of my life for the past nine years, I often catch myself showing up to class and going through the movements, my mind everywhere except in the present. “Be present in yoga” is one of many to-dos on my Happy List.
Since quitting my job almost six weeks ago, I’ve started to view the world differently. I started working part-time as a family assistant to relieve some financial burden. Now that I know my job title does not define who I am, I go to work folding laundry and helping a thirteen-year-old with math homework with a smile on my face. This is only temporary, and it allows me the freedom to do what I want with my time. I’m happy, and that’s all that counts!
I’ve done at least one thing from my Happy List every day—some days, I do four or five! Before I quit my job, if you ever heard me say, “I cooked,” that meant that I had either A) made an almond butter and jelly sandwich or B) made some sort of weird low-carb veggie wrap with soy meat and goat cheese. But now that learning to cook is on my Happy List, I can say with all honesty that yesterday, I made Beet and Kale Penne Pasta—and that came after a day of surfing!
I have been writing as much as possible and incorporating yoga into my daily schedule. Random acts of handstands have become an all-too-familiar part of my new life. Taking a cue from the pandas, here I am, 30 and unemployed. I’m finally altering my viewpoint and taking charge of my life, showing the world that, I too, am not to be messed with!
Sierra Brasher, originally from Austin, is the founder of the 30 and Unemployed website. She recently quit her job in order to pursue her writing and is chronicling the highs and lows of unemployment in Orange County, California. You can join Sierra on her journey by visiting her website.
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29 Comments
Welcome to the club!
:)
I am glad that you are following your dream and you are happy. LOVE these types of articles but in the real world, how do you pay your bills especially living in such an expensive area? And arent you worried about health benefits? I wish I could read articles that give ALL the details!
This is an inspiring story. It’s so great that you have the financial flexibility to be able to do this. I admit, I’m jealous. :)
Like many I fell into my profession without much thought when I was young (and clueless). I was good at it and became successful over the years. When the bottom fell out (I work in the mortgage industry) I was completely freaked out and had an identity crisis too. So much of my own self-worth was tied up in my career progression and salary. I was involuntarily unemployed for a year. I realized what I want to do but that involves a lot more education and that will take quite some time to complete. In the meantime, I have found the best solution within the industry I have experience in so my family doesn’t lose our house, attend school as often as possible and work on making me happy in my “spare time”. :)
I, too, have been unemployed for almost a year now–not exactly by choice. It has been a crazy, discouraging, and yet miraculous year. I’ve grown, I’ve developed hobbies, I’ve healed, I’ve worked on getting myself healthier, I’ve peeled back a few layers, and I’ve learned so many new things. I am deeply, grateful for this time. And I’m so grateful for the people who have supported me through this year. Living with your mom isn’t exactly the hip and cool adult thing to do, but I’m grateful. Don’t misunderstand. It’s been challenging–last fall was truly the autumn of my discontent. But it’s spring time again. And I can see the beauty of this journey. I feel ready again to enter the world of work. And my greatest prayer is that I can do it this time on my own terms, with balance, love, and grace. I decided that today, on tax day, I would dedicate some time to pray and meditate for others who, like me, are unemployed not by choice and in need of work. That seems like a happy way to spend at least part of my blessed free day today. : )
Your adventures sound so lovely. I think that many of us here on CSL would love to be able to follow our passions as you do! It’s wonderful that you have the courage and privilege to do so. Unfortunately, I cannot go without health insurance because I had cancer and because no one will cover me privately, I have to be under a group plan (which means I have to have a job). I hope that this will change someday.
I have to agree with Christine’s post above. Very inspiring and freeing to read about the adventures of the voluntarily unemployed, but I would love to know all the details of how one makes that happen. I work – and have always worked – and still can’t seem to find the extra cash to pay for yoga classes at $16 a pop – if I were to attend just 2 classes a week, that’s $128 a month! And I rarely spend money on anything other than bills and groceries (last item of clothing I purchased was in early January: pair of Gap jeans for $34). My money seems to flow in and then right back out again with ongoing medical bills, house expenses, etc. I would LOVE to know more details – particularly on the financial side! In the meantime, I will just have to live vicariously through you, Sierra. Thanks for sharing!
Thanks for all your comments! I would like to say first that I bought a basic health insurance plan the very day I quit my job. That was top on my list of priorities—even before making my happy list! Also, to answer some of your questions about how I did this all (financially), you can read the first few entries of my blog where I detailed how I would do it. In short, I saved up enough to live very meagerly for exactly two months without pay and got a part-time family assistant job to help make ends meet. It has NOT been easy! Thanks again, and please keep reading! Best, Sierra
I forget to explain how I afford yoga. There is a post in my blog called “Yoga to the People” that details how I have been studio-hopping to take advantage of introductory free or low-cost packages. Also, practicing yoga every single day does NOT necessarily mean I have to pay to be in a classroom. I often take time on the beach or on my living room floor for my yoga practice. I hope that helps clarify. Namaste, Sierra
I wish I had read this 2 months ago. I think it would have saved me some down – down in the dumps – time. I am 37 and finally figured out that I don’t want to be defined by my job, my title, my income. After constantly putting in extra time, working on weekends, dreaming (more like nightmares) about work, I finally figured out that I want LIFE. Yes, work affords us various levels of life-styles, but it doesn’t have to BE OUR LIVES, the definition of us. I wish I had read this earlier so that I would have recognized what was leading me to join the unemployed so that I had a plan for my time, instead of falling into sadness. But, thank you, just the same for your blog and to my friend who sent me the link. And here’s to living and taking advantage of happy times and happy lists (which I will start on today). : ) God Bless
This really hits home. I am 32 years old and have been supporting my husband and two kids for the past five years. The bulk of our income is from my salary, as my husband is self-employed and mainly freelance. I have struggled with the job related identity crisis too but as it turns out, I am soon to be another victim of the economic downturn: reduction-in-workforce termination. I believe that everything happens for a reason so I have focused my attention on not what I am losing, but what I am going to gain. I get the opportunity to re-evaluate and re-prioritize. I will have a little bit of a financial buffer, but a part of that re-evaluation is eliminating things that do not serve a functional purpose in my life and to live as simply as possible. I look forward to having the time for a daily asana practice, gardening and spending more time with my children. When I do return to the working world, I vow to only do something that is going to nourish my entire being. Life is too short.
Cheers!
Hyla
Hi Carrie, it’s never too late to start living! Please share your happy list with me once you’ve created it. I would love to see what makes you smile:-)
Ilovethis.Ilovethis. Ilovethis!
About 3 weeks ago I quit my job (very well paying career, actually) sold almost all of my possessions and moved 3,000 miles across the country to a city I fell in love with. Now I don’t have a job, health insurance, or a car and I love it. I’d rather be broke and living in Portland doing things that make me happy than living in New Jersey working in a cramped office with no windows for 8 hours a day. In the end, happiness is all that matters and job titles mean nothing! Break Free!
You inspire me as you have a well within your castle. That is, you are not constantly struggling to get to water when surrounded my the enemy. Live within our means and be a slave to nobody. It is so easy to fall into the trap of alway trying to have the latest and greatest. It is a vicious cycle of discontent. Bless you and your discovery and insight that you are sharing. Mature beyond your years! Most never reach nirvana.
this makes me want to smile and cry at the same time..
i’m happy i came across this.
:) please write more :)
I just did the same thing in March…had a great job- that I hated, gave notice and now became unemployed. Currently I have been able to do happy things too. Go to lunch with friends, cook dinner, just chill, start a blog, and so much more I want to do! Congrats and good luck, I know that a job does not define me anymore either!
life is more important than work.
30 and unemployed as well.
thanks for this.
wow – what timing. i just put in my notice at work to take time and figure out what I want to do…today i came across this post.
BTW – i am 33 and (soon to be) unemployed.
all of these comments make me feel so much better and self assured – especially Mandi – break free indeed! :)
So wonderful to hear how many of us are in the same boat right now. We should start a support group or forum where we can all share our stories and keep each other motivated! We can call it “Happy and Unemployed”
If any of your are interested in reading my full Happy List, you can read this post: http://www.30andunemployed.com/2010/01/make-happy-list.html
Also, to see how to afford yoga on a tight budget, check “Yoga to the Unemployed People”: http://www.30andunemployed.com/2010/02/yoga-to-unemployed-people.html
Thank you so much, Sierra, for sharing your story with us. I have been in a bit of a rut myself and would love to break free of the corporate 9-5 cycle but, as several others have mentioned, it’s the basics of leaving that scare me. I worry about lack of health insurance and paying bills–I live outside of NYC and it’s hard to make ends meet with a FT position.
But I really want to weigh the pros and cons. I could give up some dinners out or frivolous purchases here and there if it would mean greater happiness.
Hey, I go to a Yoga to the People studio in Manhattan for Bikram–I love it :)
Thanks for this and best of luck to you!
I have followed your blog here and there, and I must say you are obviously using some of that free time to hone your writing skills. Well done.
Wow, funny one of you should mention moving to Portland, my husband is there on business and says I would love it! Seriously considering a road trip soon!
Great article, beautiful job. I have been unemployed by choice for almost 3 years now and I love it! I did a youtube video on it, so much fun living life!
Kimberly, you are too kind. Keep in mind that the very skilled editors at Crazy Sexy Life went through my post with a fine-toothed comb!
I agree with Kimberly regarding your writing–well done! As for your life, work, and identity, I understand and identify. A little older than you, I came from a generation of parents that worked for the same corporations and companies for a lifetime. My dad, who died at 57, totally identified by his job, has worked for Shell Chemical for 30 years. Imagine! I have just left law school in Manhattan on medical leave, at 47, a little more than three quarters of the way through the first year. And though I can go back next year, I’m not so sure I want to do so. Like you I have a litany of jobs trailing behind me as I’ve meandered in search of a career to define me, or complete me, or make me feel secure or happy or whatever. I’ve been in a PhD program, a pro-skateboarder, a state administrator (twice), a magazine and academic writer, a professional voice actor on Microsoft games, and a cigar and coffee shop GM and owner. Currently I am at a online marketing company. They tell me it is the cutting edge and that though I’m working for straight commission, that the sky is the limit. I’m dubious. Shortly before leaving law school I read a book that brought be back to my seemingly long ago efforts to improve my intuition. The book, What Matters Most: Living a More Considered Life, by Hollis. In it, Hollis, a Jungian Therapist, notes that the human spirit’s role is to serve the sole. Consequently he says, we are not meant to do what society and dictum’s proclaim we should do to affirm ourselves, but rather the soul and ourselves are realized when our spirit serves our soul’s true desire: what makes us, it, and “the Gods” happy. And despite normative prescriptions who would have us believe otherwise, so to does humanity benefit from just such a pursuit. Consequently, it is synchronistic that I come across your blog while looking at a mutual friend of ours facebook site (Leslie)–but no accident. Keep the faith; the universe I have been finding keep providing for me the more I seem to honor this intuition–and with little effort on my part.
I don’t know how I got here but I’m glad I did. I just wanted to say that you “get it”. I learn so much from animals. They don’t spend their whole lives trying to impress with titles and money and vanity. Animals live in the moment. Humanity needs to evolve to the spiritual maturity of animals. You are very enlightened to state that work does not define you.
Work seems only to define people so caught in the matrix, they forget to understand what is is to be a sentient being who lives in the moment. Those people are cogs in another person’s mechanism and rarely live outside the illusion. True freedom is only attained when you can let all materialistic needs go and open your eyes to the bigger picture. I believe you are wise beyond your years. I wish you peace.
Many thanks to Mitchell and Robert for sharing! And to all of you for your support and optimism. Please continue following my journey as I move to San Francisco next week. In the words of Jack Kerouac, “We’ve got nowhere to go but everywhere.” San Francisco sounds like a good start. Best, Sierra
I think this is great. I realized 2 years ago that my job was just my way of supporting my husband & myself & not a defenition of who I am or what I am about. It feels good to have this knowledge. I still have the same job but a different attitude about it.
April 15, 2010