The Psychology of Fear
You may not expect this from looking at the pictures of me dangling from the ceiling on a pair of aerial silks, but I’m actually afraid of heights. This is why I climbed up there in the first place…I don’t want to be afraid of anything! One thing I’ve learned from practicing yoga (specifically Jivamukti Yoga) these past 14 years is that we have to dance with our fears if we are to move past them. And usually it’s a slow and uncomfortable dance with someone you’re not even sure you like!
So why aerial silks? I suppose it’s all the Cirque du Soliel’s fault. Honestly, I never really thought I could “fly through the air with the greatest of ease”, even though when I fantasized about running away and joining the circus I was always an acrobat! And then one day I was introduced to a performance troupe in New York City that actually taught aerial & acrobatics classes!! So I signed up as my New Years resolution of 2006: The year I will learn to fly!
Who really came up with the phrase: “greatest of ease”? It really hurts! My hands would hurt from gripping the fabric so tightly, my thighs from being cinched from drops (tricks where your spin down the fabric and you get caught at the bottom from it being wrapped around your body…often on a thigh) and my forearms hurt from working so hard to hold me up! Burns and bruises everywhere!!
Each time I climbed up to the top of that 20′ silk, I thought to myself: “why did I pay for this!!” I found my fears of falling on my head and dying made it almost impossible for me to breathe, impossible for me to stay focused and impossible for me to accomplish the task (or trick) at hand. This was until I realized yoga could be used here as well. Stay present!
It’s not about the fear, but about each individual moment. Not what I was about to do, but about each step, each hand over hand and foot over foot climbing to the top, while being mindful of every single step and not rushing in my mind to what’s coming up next. This taught me that fear can be quite a powerful tool. It can scare you present if you allow it to do so.
Sit with your fears. Allow them to be there in the room with you. If you try to push them away, they’ll fight hard to stay like a belligerent drunken monkey in your mind. There’s no way he’ll leave you alone. But if you allow him to just sit there with you, he’ll get quiet. Maybe he’ll even take a nap. Then you need not do anything but watch each breath and each step.
It was so unexpected that aerial silks would teach me more about yoga by scaring me present. I started to view these classes as an exploration into the psychology of my fears. When I gave into my fears, I couldn’t do anything. When I stayed focused, anything was possible. And an even to a greater surprise, when I stayed focused and wasn’t afraid any longer, it even stopped hurting and stopped bruising!! I’m convinced that this is my path to enlightenment!
Anyone want to fly?
Learn more about Sandhi here.
11 Comments
I went skydiving a few years ago and it was life changing! I went from someone who never thought they could jump out of a plane to the first one taking the leap. I keep trying to convince Kris to go with me, but no luck yet! I’ll get her in that plane someday:) Thanks for inspiring us, Sandhi!
Oh, Corrine! That might be a GREAT idea for a meetup! How cool would that be?
I like how you think, Cowboyjane!!!
Realizing that means that *I*would have to be there too….again, the palms are sweating! ha. Seriously, though – can you imagine that? Kris could film her big jump! I can see it now – all sorts of canser and noncanser goddesses saying a collective “F You!” to fear, canser, you name it!!!
And we’ll all be wearing our csl t shirts! Woo hoo!
Thanks so much Sandhi for sharing your journey towards enlightenment & facing your fears. I fondly remember the yoga class you lead in September for our meetup. It was one of the best yoga experiences I’ve had!! Let’s fly!!
WOW! Thanks so much for this article, how inspiring! I just went to Cirque last week and it was truly amazing. I had chills the entire time! Facing your fears is such a brave and wonderful thing to do!
Wow! I am so inspired by this post!
”argue for your limitations and , sure enough, they’re yours”
Cowboyjane.. that is really something I needed to see today.
Melody:
Its one to live by, for sure!
I love your blog and website by the way. So helpful to the nnewbie trying to stay on the path and getting frustrated when Im sick of buddha bowls!
Please tell me what is in the photo on the blog header: looke like yummy avocado wrapped in delishousness ((vegan sushi perhaps)??? I have to have it!, xo, Michelle
where did you learn this? i want to learn too!
Wowza! I love this site. Really, it has become a part of my daily routine – Kris and her team have truly created something unique and life changing. And here we go again with another timely, inspriational and kick ass blog. THANK YOU! I went skydiving 2 years ago for the same reason – I am deathly, dizzingly, irrationally afraid of heights…so, I jumped out of a plane. Wow, what a feeling of accomplishment! However, it was a once in a lifetime event – until now. Im thinking it might be time to get back up in the air (clammy palms as I write this!). Right before the jump, Id gotten a tattoo – a quote from one of my favorites, Richard Bach that says :”argue for your limitations and , sure enough, they’re yours”. Yup. Time to heed that and get back up there. Thank you for the inspiration, and the kind nudge. Happy flying, xo, Michelle
April 16, 2009