Start Your Psychological Spring Cleaning!
(AKA change your thoughts…change your life!)
OK people time to clear out the winter dust bunnies and make some head space! Let’s start the spring clean with the question, “What is your racket?” Meaning what is the bullshit story that you tell yourself about yourself, that gets in your way? When I was in my 20’s I used to declare, ”I can’t cook”. Finally my mother said,”Ter, that is so tired…if you can READ you can COOK. Why don’t you just say what you really mean, which is that you don’t WANT to cook? Which is fine.” Um…well yea I guess I never thought of that. I was afraid if I learned how to cook OR type for that matter, someone would expect it of me. I decided not to learn to do either for a long time, until I wanted to, for myself.
De-Cluttering Your Cranium. . Makin’ Room for the Good Stuff!
Step One: Identifying Your Racket.
What are the negative tales you think, say or feel about yourself? What do you tell yourself you CAN NOT do? Think of the ways you may put yourself down in front of others or alone. There are many reasons people do this. Not to threaten others, to say it before someone else can, because your parents taught you to be “humble” (now that is a load of crap for an ENTIRELY separate post) or the fear that feeling or saying good things about yourself makes you conceited etc. Another reason people limit themselves with lies is so they don’t have to do or risk anything. If I say I cannot cook then I don’t have to try and fail, right? It spares me from finding out I am a bad cook but it also robs me of the experience of trying and succeeding or trying and deciding I don’t enjoy cooking, which is totally different than saying I am incapable.
Step Two: Declaring The Limiting Belief a Lie.
Once you realize what your rackets are, take the time to journal about how these false beliefs came into being. Really think back to how the whole sorted thing got started and write about it. Remember how you felt at the time and write a comprehensive narrative about it. Connect the facts with the feelings. Then have one person you trust witness it for you. Read or tell them the story…then burn it. Yep I mean actually light it on fire and release it back into the universe and OUT OF YOUR EXPERIENCE. Please only burn someplace safe and legal. I had two of my adorable life coaching clients burn their racket lists together in a Manhattan apartment and video tape it for my viewing pleasure. It looked like the kitchen was about to go up in flames, so please don’t try THAT at home (although I laughed my head off every time I thought of them for days).
Step Three: Rewrite Your Script.
I have a t-shirt with that inscription that I have worn thin because I LOVE it so much. Here is the deal. It is your life. It is your story. If you don’t like the story line you are currently rocking…CHANGE IT! It is all on you to change your mind about whatever does not work for you. I had a friend who hated her legs and when her then boyfriend, now husband declared she had the best gams in town she feared he was actually making fun of her. As it became apparent that he truly felt this way she decided to go with it and see her legs as luscious instead of a liability. She has not regretted that decision and even wears short skirts now with a sassy attitude. I have no doubt she could have talked him out of it but why would she want to do that? Beauty and truth are very subjective. Why not see things in a way that empowers you? It is just as easy or easier and yields much more positive results.
Note: This is different than being in denial. We always have a choice as to how we will view a situation and I am suggesting viewing your life in a way that empowers you and taking responsibility for your own happiness…because you are the only one who can.
Step Four: Write Affirmations to Support Your New Script
An affirmation is just something you declare to be true. So now your job is to write affirmations about what you are creating. I AM SO HAPPY AND GRATEFUL NOW THAT I (insert affirmation here). Since the universe can only say yes, be specific with the words you choose. Use only positive language in the present tense.
Fear gets kicked up when we change our minds about things. Remember fear is just a FEELING, not a FACT. Now go make room in your mind for all of the life experiences that you are creating for this beautiful new beginning…SPRING! Let the Psychological Spring Clean begin!
As always I am here to help, nudge, clarify, support or challenge, if necessary.
Let me hear from you!
MANIFEST VISUALIZE CREATE!
Love Love Love
Your Crazy Sexy Life Coach,
Terri
P.S. By the way I am an AWESOME cook now because I want to be !
21 Comments
hey kim-
yes landmark a thousand years ago. i always felt that the racket question was so valuable and yes we still use it even AFTER we know better :)
i have no doubt you will rock your new script with style!!!!
love love love,
your CRAZY SEXY LIFE COACH,
terri
Great read, Terri! Now that you’re a great cook we’ll be hitting you up for recipes as well as your winning coaching style!
Thanks Terri – This post came to be when I needed it most – right at the end of a job that I hated and was terrified to leave – I decided to quit this job that sucked my sacred energies and left me bone dry – I am not going to waste time wallowing in fear about this…thanks for reminding me!!
Terri–
I am kinda tech-challenged…but what do you do when all your affirmations go down the “toilet” because you found that you were not even worth getting to surgery [as far as my "family" is concerned]. I fought for over 7 months to get right up to how do I get to the hospital…and no one would help. I’ve cancelled the surgeries. I feel if I’m not worth saving to my family then…why stick around? I will become angry, mean and hatefull to those i thought I meant at least something to. I realize the repurcussions—It’s my life…and it’s my death. At least I am sure where I stand. I live close enough to Oregon to know my “other options” when the time comes…but until then..I have a life to live out…happily and with great gusto! No regretz——-Peace.
sunshyne-
you are right it is your life. pls don’t make a decision about surgery or not around your families dysfunctional response and inability to cope. it is YOUR life so you decide-not from hurt feelings but from really deciding what you want to happen. no dress rehearsal this time around-real life right now.
i have no judgment on whatever you decide…i just want it to be a true choice and not a reaction. we are here for you for real.
no regretz for for sure
love love love,
your crazy sexy life coach,
terri
hey rose-
sometimes the universe just gives us the opportunity and we run…now create your right and perfect job THAT YOU LOVE!!!
go u!
love love love
your cs life coach
terri
Thank you SO much for this post, Terri. I really needed to hear it right now. My racket is that I can’t overcome disordered eating patterns…I have struggled with eating disorders for over 10 years now and had so much professional help that it’s absurd, but still struggle with the day to day yo-yo-ing back and forth between bingeing and then eating nothing for several days. I have tried affirmations for this before, but feel like I have always set myself up for failure, and wind up feeling more discouraged than ever. Do you have any suggestions for when your racket is something like an addiction? And/or for people who have tried and failed at this kind of approach before? What are some key mistakes people tend to make when creating affirmations for themselves (other than phrasing things negatively)? Merci beaucoup!!
I am happy to say that I purged my rackets awhile back. They did not fit any more which is weird to say. I honestly believe that there is nothing I can’t do. That may sound arrogant but it isn’t coming from a place like that. I have had to face my own mortality, my husband’s cancer diagnosis and my father’s passing all within 3 years. I know I rock because I am here and happy and have changed my life completely along with my husband. So we rock!!
Wonderful post! You have some really great insights in here…now it’s time for me to get to work on me!
Hi Terri, what a fabulous post! Thank you so much for it! I just wanted to say please, please do write the post about how we have been ” taught you to be ‘humble’” – that sounds like it would be a great read!
Terri! so good to see you back here! I need a check up from the neck up girl, just time to overhaul my mind as my body is doing good!
love to you
deb
Terri, what an inspiring post! While I’m trying to become a better person by dealing with past issues and so forth, one thing comes to mind: How can you change your initial reaction to situations and things? If my initial reaction is anger or upset, how do I ‘look on the bright side’? I want to be more easy going and positive…I just don’t know how! Any advice?
Thank you SO much!
terri
I absolutely love all your posts….
thank you thank you for your wise words
wish you were my life coach !
xxxx
kate
Thanks Terri =)
Terri,
Thank you for this really great post!
Dylan was right, Times they are a changing!
Love & Huggs! – Always! :)
Ron
kat-
great question about how to change your initial reaction to situations that anger or upset you. here is the secret-you don’t need to change your reaction right away you just need to be able to tolerate your feelings long enough NOT to act on the angry feeling. the key is to learn not to react but to sit with the angry feeling-breathe through it and then change your mind about it for real. vic (my husband) always runs back in the house before we leave for a car trip like 3 times for reasons i still don’t understand. this use to make me crazy and mad and i would be rolling my eyes BEFORE he even did it until i decided that if this is a quirk of his so be it as he is generally the most awesome loving hottie a girl could want so now i look at my beautiful oak tree, get out my lavender oil, stretch or listen to music while i wait. i changed my mind and now my initial reaction is different. see what i mean??
go to it!!
love love love
your crazy sexy life coach,
terri
big hugs and lots o love to all my pals here
thanks for your kind words
you KNOW who loves ya…me that’s who!
xoxo
your crazy sexy life coach,
terri
Terri thank you! I’m going to try this next time I feel upset straight outta the gate– I have a feeling if I really focus on thinking rather than acting or speaking at first, it’s gonna do wonders!
Have a rockin’ day!
~Kat
Wonderful post! You have some really great insights in here…now it’s time for me to get to work on me!
hey lizzie-
i responded to the addiction thing but it did not post so email me at terricoleny@gmail.com and i will give u my 2 cents
xo
your crazy sexy life coach,
terri
Landmark??? My racket is “I am not capable”…crazy thing is, I identified my racket years ago and still allow it (use it conveniently) to hold me back! I will try the writing, burning ritual and make the commitment to create a more productive and powerful racket. Rewriting my script….thx for the reminder ;)
May 22, 2009