Reduce Family Stress this Holiday
Hello Happy Holiday Elves!!
The Holiday Season is upon us again. Spending time with family on special occasions can bring such joy and happiness but for many it can create overwhelming stress. Since you are the architect of all of your life experiences, decide how you want to feel this holiday season. Then go about systematically making decisions that are in line with that result. There are big and small changes you can make this year to relieve stress and have happy holidays!
Below is a list of actions for de-stressing the Holiday Mess:
1. Prep Before:
Create a gift list and budget and stick to it. Decide beforehand what gatherings you will attend and what you will bring. Choose easy uncomplicated dishes that store well. Whatever you complete prior to holiday week will reduce your stress and leave you available to have a good time. No Christmas Eve shopping EVER!
2. Adjust Your Attitude:
Go into the season with the mindset of gratitude. Decide that no one has the power to take away your joy and mean it. Try to meditate ten minutes a day, master on the spot breathing techniques and carry a small bottle of Lavender essential oil for instant de-stressing.
3. Keep Your Side Of The Street Clean:
You are only responsible for how YOU behave and react in all situations. If every year your mother-in-law criticizes your culinary skills, expect her to be different but if she is not, smile and do not utter a sound. Dial down your energy from any stressful situation or person. See yourself as Un-offendable. You know that someone being rude or nasty is their issue and you can either chose to do your old familiar dance with them or just…not. Don’t micro manage anything or anyone. Find family members whose company you enjoy and focus your time with them while affirming how calm, peaceful and grateful you feel. (Of course the key here is to FEEL it and hold that feeling in your chest.)
4. NO Is Not A 4 Letter Word:
You have the right to say no to anything that will take the joy out of the season for you or your family. If certain family gatherings create debilitating stress then give yourself permission to respectfully decline and create new traditions that bring you joy. If a situation is too toxic, it is your job to protect yourself from it. If you have children, let each one chose an event or party to attend that really matters to them, politely declining the rest. If exchanging gifts with grown siblings is too costly say so and perhaps pull names out of a hat so you are only buying for one person. If hosting is too much work and money, transition to a potluck meal with everyone contributing their own special flavor. Being over burdened financially or emotionally is not fun. Say no and feel good about taking care of yourself and your family.
5. Know When To Say When:
Drunks are stressful AND boring. This time of year produces many opportunities to overindulge in alcohol. The reasons not to drink too much are obvious. If you don’t think you drink too much and everyone else in your life thinks you do…it’s probably not a conspiracy, you probably drink too much…but that is a blog for another time.
6. Pay It Forward:
Remember what the holidays are really all about and donate your time to help others less fortunate in your community. This is a wonderful way to teach children the importance of service to others and to keep your head at the heart of what really matters. Forgive a grudge you have been holding and reach out, help an elderly neighbor or family member, go out of your way to communicate your gratitude to the important people in your life for their presence. No material gift ever received is as satisfying as truly making a difference in someone else’s journey (although those new Louboutins platform pumps come pretty darn close…hee hee…kidding!)
I hope that some of these ideas help you create the holiday experience you seek, filled with love, light joy and laughter.
Sending you twinkly lights and sugar plum hugs!
Love Love Love
Your Crazy Sexy Life Coach,
Terri
- Posted by Terri on December 17, 2009 at 5:00 am
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Tagged as: alcohol, Aromatherapy, family, holidays, meditation, stress
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I love your post Terri!
It was great to be reminded that we are the architects of our life experiences. It is so so true! love to you and happy holidays!
I recently watched Pay it Forward – and it has quickly became one of my favourite movies. For the past two years I volunteer at a homeless shelter over the christmas break – and I will be doing it again – It’s such a rewarding experience and a wonderful opportunity to give something back to society.
thanks rainbow! feels good to REMEMBER how it really is, ya know?
linda-i love the volunteer action. when my clients or friends are obsessing about whatevs i say GIVE GIVE GIVE as you will gain more or at least as much as those you help! great quote i read in body and soul mag (sorry can not remember who said it) DON’T THINK LESS OF YOURSELF…THINK OF YOURSELF LESS. And i add, think of others more
love love love
your crazy sexy life coach,
terri
Just the reminder I needed. I’ve gone through some family drama the past 2 years and I really need a peaceful Christmas. Thanks Terri. I will remember what you’ve said. I’ve been trying to seriously implement these beliefs into my life for about a year now. I am the one who controls how I feel No one else. I can be happy this holiday season. xoxoxo
Don’t think less of yourself…think of yourself less – Thanks, really like that quote and will make a note of it to remember going forward!
melissa-
yes you WILL be happy this holiday season CONGRATS for the re realization!!
xo
I needed this today! Thank you so much for sharing your perspective.
I finally got the guts this year to request that no one bring alcohol to our family get together. There are several that have issues with that, however my husband and I are the only ones willing to open our home every year for us all to be together. I enjoy the event. The food, the fellowship, but there is always something ugly come from the consumption of alcohol. A couple of the family members have called since the request with dread that they now won’t be able to make it this year due to other commitments. These same family members have been here every year. Their reactions really make me sad that they think more of their tradition to have bourban in their egg nog than their tradition of spending the evenging with us, but I feel good about my decision.
Very comforting post–thanks!
xo
Eco Mama
b-
i am so glad to hear that you feel good about your decision to draw boundaries that make sense for you and your family. it takes courage to be empowered and not the victim so GO YOU!! people are on their own trip about alcohol and what it means to them or their desire NOT to look at their relationship to it. deepak would say become the observer and stay out of judgment-it really is not personal so don’t write that script. continue to do what is right for you and before you know it -it will become the new normal. it feels good to have your boundaries respected even if it means people make a different choice. i hope you enjoy your time with your family!
love love love
your crazy sexy life coach
terri