Hosting Compassionate Holiday Meals

As the winter holidays approach, many of us get overwhelmed as we prepare to host parties and formal dinners for family and friends. I think one of the reasons we become overwhelmed is because our expectations are so unrealistically high. We project these expectations onto our guests and are afraid that if everything isn’t absolutely perfect, we will be judged as inadequate.

Add to that the pressure that this one vegan meal represents all vegan meals and better be extraordinary, lest your guests leave with the false impression that vegan fare is mediocre or inferior.

One of the ways we can take some pressure off is by re-thinking what we have been taught about what a meal – or a plate – should look like.

The foods we choose, the way we construct our plates, our perception of what a “complete meal” looks like are all based on what we have been taught within our culture and within our families: that meat is the centerpiece of a meal, along with some token side dishes.

What I have learned in my many years of observing people is that it’s not the lifeless animal that sits as the centerpiece that people are attached to as much as they are attached to having a centerpiece, a focus on the table, a focus on the plate, and this can be accomplished in so many ways using beautiful, compassionate plant-based foods.

In fact, a spread based on plant-based foods is so much more aesthetically pleasing than one based on animal products. Taking advantage of the huge variety of colors, textures, sizes, and shapes of plant foods, here are some suggestions for creating a focal point out of a main dish.

STUFF IT: Stuff eggplants, bell or jalapeno peppers, mushrooms, winter or summer squash, potatoes, olives, pea pods, or corn husks.

CONTAIN IT: In the spirit of serving food in something else, create a main dish using ramekins, custard cups, or individual bowls, or make miniature pot pies for each person.

MAINSTAY IT: Tofu, tempeh, seitan, and portabello mushrooms are all great options to serve as the “main dish.” They are hearty, “meaty,” and protein-rich, which is one of the criteria by which people tend to judge “main dishes.”

MOLD IT: Anything made as a loaf, patty, timbale, mold, or burger also serves as great main-dish items.

And remember it is your intentions that your guests appreciate. They do not expect perfection – and neither should you. It is about creating a compassionate center around which you and your loved ones can gather.

After I finished writing The Vegan Table, my publisher and I began throwing around ideas for titles of this book. I insisted that we not use the phrase “vegan entertaining.” To me, that phrase implies that vegans employ some special method of entertaining unique only to them, when in truth, they are just normal folk who want to celebrate holidays and gather with friends – just like everyone else.

It would be disingenuous, however, to say there isn’t something special about a gathering where no animals are harmed for the sake of our pleasure. When a sense of consciousness informs our actions, when our intentions reflect kindness and nonviolence, when our thoughts turn to someone else’s needs rather than our own desires, there is no denying that something profound takes place.

In the absence of suffering, there is peace. In the presence of compassion, there is joy.

That is vegan entertaining.

Whether you are hosting an intimate gathering of close friends or a large celebration with an open guest list, may you have a blessed and healthful holiday. May you make choices that reflect your deepest values, and may you find abundance and joy in a life lived simply so that others may simply live.