Confessions of a Culinary Nutritionist
Why I Dread my Kid’s Mealtime
I remember thinking every day (if not almost every moment) when I was pregnant that I hope that I have healthy kids with no major medical concerns. I think all parents do that. However, do we ever think about the smaller things that could perhaps go wrong, the very basic things?
On October 7 2008, my second son, Hunter James Dec (my married name) was born with a heart-shaped tongue (how cute!?). My husband was the first to notice it. We quickly learned that our sweet little boy was tongue-tied. Our pediatrician assured us that there were very few instances where there is a functional problem. Translated: we didn’t have to worry. Phew!
Hunter seemed fine when breast-fed but when bottle-fed (I had to stop breast feeding after four days due to personal medical issues), the formula poured out of either side of his mouth. And it took him over an hour to drink 2-3 ounces. At his one-week check up his weight was down and upon observing Hunter feed, our pediatrician told us that his frenulum (that small band of tissue that connects the underside of the tongue to the floor of the mouth) needed to be clipped. Ok, so my kid had no major diseases, but he COULDN’T EAT!
So, at one week old, Hunter was clipped! Yes, feeding improved but not by much. Formula still poured out of his mouth and he took forever to drink the smallest amounts. As we soon found out, he had problems coordinating sucking and swallowing (apparently not connected to being tongue-tied?). Although he would eventually grow out of (as per our doctor), I couldn’t sit by and watch my kid struggle eating if there was something I could do to help. At my persistence, we were referred to a myofacial pathologist who taught my husband and I how to help Hunter eat. And, after almost four months Hunter was able coordinate his sucking and swallowing on his own. Yippee!!!
Onto solids. Whereby my older son started eating solids at four-months (and eating everything under the sun), Hunter wouldn’t even entertain the idea until 7 months. For the first month or so he would gag and throw up most of what he ate. I am the culinary nutritionist here, so I am supposed to know what to do, right? Well, all I felt like doing was crying and throwing in the towel (you can’t do that when you have kids!). Were there more problems or did he just hate my cooking? On top of everything, I also discovered that Hunter had geographic tongue, a benign oral condition that gives your tongue a map-like, or geographic, appearance. It can sometimes cause tongue discomfort and increased sensitivity to certain substances. Another complication (albeit small) to add to the mix.
I found myself beginning to dread mealtimes. In fact, sweating them. I put my ego aside and tried jarred food and he seemed to enjoy. Hmm? Jack loved everything I cooked! I kept telling myself, “All kids are different and Hunter has a history of oral issues.” Let go, and take a deep breath! Hunter was going to be my food challenge. Now it was about trying to better understand what Hunter could tolerate and actually enjoy. But, then there were blatant food sensitivities to complicate things even further—citrus and eggs made evident by the onset of eczema after both were introduced into his diet.
So, I may be better equipped than most to deal with a child with food challenges BUT none of that matters when it’s your own kid! I am like many out there—a mom of two who is trying to meet the demands of family (including a dog who is literally my shadow) and part-time work (as well as trying to take care of me). So any complication makes things a little more difficult. But hey, that is life! And I gotta deal with the cards I am dealt!!!
I am in the process of accepting that Hunter is different from Jack (it is hard not to compare the second to the first). And that perhaps the feeding difficulties Hunter had upon birth, the geographic tongue and food sensitivities all contribute to the challenges I meet on a daily basis when trying to figure out what to feed him. I have to keep telling myself, “It is OK!” My kid is surely not starving at almost one year old and 25 pounds. In the scheme of things, this is no big deal for sure!
Although I dread (and sweat) Hunter’s mealtimes, I will still offer some advice (that perhaps I too can take): It is OK to dread your kids’ mealtimes. Just make sure that you are doing all you can to give them the healthiest choices you can within the given restrictions. It is our job as parents to offer our kids a variety of healthy foods to choose from. If they don’t eat, they won’t starve!
- Posted by Stefanie on October 1, 2009 at 8:15 am
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Tagged as: children, diet, nutrition
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It must be so frustrating to have trouble in an area that is your specialty. But you sound like a wonderful mother who cares about her child and what he eats, not to mention his own struggles. Better a mother who dreads her child’s mealtime than one who doesn’t put thought into it at all. Happy almost birthday to Hunter
Oh Shades of yester year.. been there done that.. kids are difficult without all the other complications thrown in… Its such a surprise when you find out how incredibly unique each child is..
My first child like yours was a great eater..and has remained so.Food was never his issue.. although he found issues of his own, in different areas.. which I had to like a detective figure out as the years went on. My second child and this one a girl.. was tougher from the start. She would not breast feed right away and my breast milk did not come in as it did the first time.. it took a week. I did breast feed her for about nine months and every time I tried to take her off of it she had horrible stomach issues.. Her food issues as a baby were allergies and tummy troubles digesting, the list goes on… To this day she cannot eat like everyone else, and has to be careful, we learned what her system is all about.. and I think thats the thing, we are all so unique no carbon copies of each other. !.. But your right.. he wont starve..or any of that.. My daughter taught me to chill around food, give up control..and let her eat what she needed… (not in a silly way either)..and now she is grown up..she is a chef.. good luck..
My son too was born with a heart shaped tongue and did not get it clipped until he was 14…required anathesia..now he can lick an ice cream.. The dr never suggested clipping it. Strange how Dr.s are different
I am so happy you ended with “they won’t starve”. Both my girls have gone through yogurt only phases. It is what it is. They are all crazy little kids.
Dear Stefanie,
My son Torin was tongue tied at birth as was my older brother. My aunt (our pediatrician) clipped my brothers tongue at birth but Torin’s doctor said that he would out grow it and that it would not need to be clipped. HAH- at 16 he had it clipped. Don’t stress about Hunter’s meal times. He will eat if he is hungry and he can sense if your anxious.
Holy moly! How ironic. I had no idea that Hunter had those issues, but Im thrilled to hear that they’re being resolved. As a speech pathologist, I wish I had known! In any case, Im sure he’ll be enjoying his mommy’s glass noodles in no time.
My 10 year old is plagued with a severe geographic tongue as well. Mealtimes for me with him are painful. i wish I could say they get better. I am struggling. I cannot even watch him eat. So frustrating.