Boobs
What is it about boobs, anyway? Why do they make people so insane? And by “people,” I don’t just mean men. You can hardly make it twenty-four hours without someone you know complaining about her boobs in some way, shape, or form. And you can’t make it twenty-four minutes without seeing fake boobs on TV.
How did this madness start? At what point in time did it occur to women that a certain shape or size or bounce of boobs would be considered more viable than another? I sincerely doubt that cavewomen were sitting around signing and motioning and grunting about their own and each other’s breasts. I suppose it doesn’t really matter how or why boobs became so important in our culture. But to me, it does matter that millions of women are endangering their lives, undergoing anesthesia and surgery, and forever altering their God-given bodies to have different breasts than the ones they were born with. For what? (Just to be clear, I’m not talking about women who are disfigured or who have had mastectomies.)
I know women constantly say, “If it gives you confidence and makes you feel better about yourself, than why not?” Well, for starters, how about building confidence from the inside? Having small breasts isn’t a problem. Thinking your small breasts are less acceptable than large breasts is. If your breasts are somehow “wrong,” than what’s to stop you from thinking your hair, cheekbones, nose, lips, wrinkles, legs, butt, and stomach are “wrong,” too? Where does it end? Do you just look at yourself and see what “needs to be fixed”? At what point do you say, “I’m fine just the way I am.” Can you say it?
Believe me, I’m no stranger to self-critiquing: I pinch the insides of my thighs, I hold my stomach in, and I lift my ass up in front of the mirror and think to myself, “If only blah blah blah, then I’d be happy.” And as a woman with 32A-minus boobs, I’ve spent my fair share of time imaging how life would be different, better, easier even, with boobs. Sadly, until I was thirty-two years old, I wished my boobs were bigger. What a waste of time. What a waste of self-love and -acceptance. What a waste of me.
Somehow, this year, at the age of thirty-three, it occurred to me: My boobs are perfect. Just because I say so. And goddamn it, I love my small boobs now! I feel so lucky and blessed to have these exact boobs. Not because they’re small, like, “Ha ha, don’t you big-boobed women wish you had small boobs?” No, I feel lucky and blessed because they’re healthy, happy boobs. Women are being diagnosed with breast cancer left and right. To pine away for bigger boobs or bouncier boobs or smaller boobs is not only stupid, it’s pitiful. And on a less dramatic scale, I love my boobs now because it’s so much more gratifying than hating them. It simply feels good loving the skin I’m in. Period.
While so many of us walk around thinking of our breasts as accessories or man magnets (or women magnets, for our lesbian friends), we forget the primary reason we have them to begin with: Breastfeeding. Duh. I can only imagine the bliss of looking down at your newborn nursing and finally seeing your breasts for what truly they are—miraculous, precious gifts from Mother Nature herself. All mammals nurse their young. But we’re the only ones running around obsessing about our boobs and dressing them up like Yorkie terriers!
Life is too fleeting and too valuable to waste one minute feeling bad about our boobs or any other parts of our bodies. For whatever reason, the world we live in values a specific physical aesthetic. But if we can remember that we’re spiritual beings encased in skin and flesh—whether we represent that physical aesthetic or not—life can be dramatically different and dramatically fulfilling. Great hair, perfect boobs, long legs…they’re all fools’ gold. They mean nothing other than someone got lucky in the gene department.
Whether they’re big, small, saggy, or pert: love your boobs. And while you’re at it, love your fat ass, too.
- Posted by Rory on February 17, 2009 at 8:00 am
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Tagged as: life
Other posts by this author:
“I’ve got a lovely bunch of coconuts.
There they are, standing in a row…
BIG ONES, small ones, some as BIG as your head!”
I spent too many years hating my large breasts. Now I just accept that they are what they are–and I’m thankful they were here when I needed them the most (for nursing my amazing daughter).
Excellent blog post.
Lots of love to you,
Wendi Dee
XOXOXO
AMEN!
Right on, Rory! I’m keeping this post for my daughter when she’s old enough to start obsessing about her body.
Great post Rory! I just love everything you do and I am so glad you are a part of this blog! Plus your a fellow Jersey Girl (you and I have exchanged messages before on MySpace) and we rock!!
What a fantastic way to start the day! We should start each day being thankful for what we have and honoring our bodies rather than loathing the parts that we don’t like or cursing the scale. I would like to say that I fall into the honoring/loving population, but lately I’ve been doing a lot of self-loathing. Thanks for putting things in perspective, Rory! You rock and I can’t wait to read your next blog:)
xoxo
Yay for small boobs!
I was always satisfied with my small breasts. I always thought of them as what they are. A way to feed my babies. They did their job and unfortunately, I got breast cancer and have been going through surgeries and treatments for 4 years. Thank God for the healthy breasts you have…
This brings tears to my eyes as I struggle to come to terms with my mastectomy at 39 and the TWO drive through coffee stands by my new house that feature – NOT COFFEE—NO!!! But nearly teenage girls wearing bikini bottoms ans PASTIES to serve your drink!It makes me want to scream. My boyfriends says how sad it is that this is what it takes to sell coffee…and even that comment makes me sad…if that is what it takes then what do I have???? Waiting on my reconstruction in the fall…they will be small, and goddammit they are going to be PERKY!!! Hmmm….maybe I can get a job over there….
boobs are highly overrated..mostly by men
but I am grateful for what I have!
deb
love the last line! funny….
More talk like this is what we need. Excellent post!
Great post! I love my small boobs and am so grateful that they have never been diseased, have nursed three kids, feel pleasure and are a great size for doing yoga. They are the perfect breasts for ME!
My mom was a 44 DD with a 22 inch waist and 36 hips- naturally! so of course I always wondered ‘what happened to ME? when I grew up to a 34 b (now an a since nursing 2 beautiful babies). It HAS been a long time coming for me too just to reach some self-acceptance and love in this area. Like you said, what a waste… Thank goddess with age has come wisdom and serenity and appreciation.
Sending love to everyone and their ‘girls’! xo
The thing is…we tend to unconsciously blur the disdain we may have for a particular body part with the whole of who we are. We’ve got small boobs, we’re not attractive. We’re not attractive, we’re not lovable. We’re not lovable, we’re worthless, or whatever…you choose your particular flavor of thoughts that eventually link to your original self-judgement. We constantly do this to various parts of ourselves, not just the physical, but they all ultimately lead to the ugly place of self-rejection, which isn’t good for any of us. Self-acceptance is KEY.
And our boobies are not only a focus of self-judgement, but a doorway to collective norms/standards of what “beauty” is. Or perhaps I should say what the collective marketing engines say beauty is? To hell with all that! Self-acceptance of who we are & allowing ourselves to fully radiate who we are is beauty!
Great post!
Michalene
Halleluja, from another 32A-minus sister!
This is a great reminder for Gratitude!
I had breast cancer and in my healing have learned to love by body and love myself just as I am. Since our consciousness picks up on what we say and think, I believe positive affirmations help in our health and well-being. Negativity and self-loathing creates depression and stress which promotes a compromised immune system that leads to illness.
Thanks, Rory!
SherriK
I love this blog. I think it is high time we start thinking that we shouldn’t be thinking with our boobs.. and whatever woman said they were happy being born with big breast I will give you a ten spot to say it is a lie. I spent the first half of my life trying to not be stared at thinking what is it.. I talk with my mouth and my eyes are up here. Today I have made peace about my body and my size.. cancer does that to you. Yep.. if you a petite ballerina doll who wants to be a brick house dont do you ever see a tulip wanting to be a rose….Nope.. My husband the wise man that he is says that the boob battle is a battle of women battling women. Men dont really care. They fall in love with the whole package and most men aren’t into silicone unless they fall in love with the woman who owns them. So we aren’t having penis envy it is boob envy. We need to progress to a place where our inner life is far bigger than our outer life and dwell on who we are not what is on the outside.. so I say I love scars, moles, wrinkles and laugh lines, sagging and perks.. all the things.. that we see in each other. They mean we have lived. And I cannot hate my nose it was my grandmothers I love and miss her I got her knees too.. and Mostly my mothers rest.. so how can you hate that. We must think of it as our history implanted in us… love… is you body made manifest… otherwise you wouldn’t be here. Thanks for pointing this out.. and thanks for sounding the alarm that enough is enough no matter the cuppage. Hugs.Callie
Wow, what a wake up call for some women. I’ve had boob-envy for most of my life. As a teenager I would cry because I didn’t have big ones. In my twenties I saved for a boob-job (never having enough money or “balls” to have one). In my thirties I had my first & only child and nursed him – realizing that my boobs had a purpose. What a beautiful experience. In my late thirties, looking down at my poor dangling pancakes I planned the boob job again. Then my beautiful sister had breast cancer. She had to have one removed. She had reconstructive surgery, bless her heart. I lost a friend who had both removed and fought like a warrior until the end. My cousin was diagnosed with the big C when she was pregnant. Ladies, love your beautiful breasts!!! I still love my Victoria Secret bra because it gives the illusion of boobage but I still love mine!!
I needed to read this today. I just had a reunion with three high school friends that I had not spent time with in twenty years. At one point one of them made the insensitive comment, “What happened to your boobs?” and they all turned to hear my response. I was caught off guard and speechless. I suspect she meant that I used to have perky 36C’s and now after a baby, several marathons and breast cancer they are not so perky anymore. I am going to be 39 and when I look in the mirror I see that I am in the best shape of my life and I love my body and after BC I am even starting to love my boobs again. I really let that comment get under my skin but reading this reminded me that being able to love the strong,creative,beautiful woman I am is so much more fulfilling than what any cosmetic change could give me.
You GO Kris !!
I agree !!
I am going in for a Penile Implant tomorrow . . . you have motivated me !
wouldn’t it be wonderful if as much avid attention was paid to the hearts that lie behind our boobs & the quality of love that comes from those hearts as it is to our boobs in this culture…
how lovely that so many of you here are living from your hearts
xx
Love it! Can’t say I haven’t envied others, but mine did their God given job and fed 3 kiddos =) I laugh out loud at stupid women on those “Dr. 90210″ shows…..what a waste of time, resources and life!
Men have sexualized women, particularly our boobs, for centuries. Pornographically, ever since print was invented in the 16th century! As a result of this sexualization, women are pigeonholed into looking like their airbrushed pals in the magazine. Especially in America, we moralize based on sexuality as opposed to other parts of the world where its perfectly normal for women to bathe topless without pimply faced teenaged boys gaping, pointing, and giggling.
Our society is so sad to put so much importance in looking like a porn star, but utterly freak out and scream over public breast feeding.
Research shows that men exposed to and who have contact with bare breasts are less violent and calmer and peaceful. Breasts are beautiful. Men love boobs becuae they put them in a good state of mind.
Today, I really needed to hear this. Thank you!
I’ve always been small by society’s standards. I was always dissatisfied with my bra sized until breastfeeding. There was more than enough milk to go around. I’m still the same size I’ve always been, but after being able to feed my own babies, my boob value has increased tenfold!
Both my daughters have chests so large that they may someday need reductions for health reasons. I feel it may be from the large quantities of hormone ladened milk that they were given young children.
Big boobs are a topic in our house but only in goofing around privately.
I am SO with you on this! I am grateful for small, healthy breasts that have fed both my sons. I’ll take small, healthy breasts any day over fake large ones!
I was pretty small as a teenager and young woman. Then going into middle age and gaining weight, quite a bit of it went into my boobs. I’ve never thought much about them. For Valentine’s day three years ago, my then boyfriend took me to a specialized store in Atlanta for a custom fitted bra. I wore a 36 F! I bought two very nice bras. Only thing is, I can’t wear them anymore. Eight months later I was diagnosed with DCIS. I had a lumpectomy just before Halloween. I was told not to wear an underwire bra. I still have pain from time to time, sort of like phantom limb pain. My left is noticeably smaller than the right. By law, I can have surgery to get them evened out. But you know, I kind of like my scars. Of the Michael Vick dogs who have found new homes, my favorite is Hector. He has deep fight scars on his chest, but is totally dog social and now lives with three other dogs.
http://www.badrap.org
Kris, someone gave me your book to look over & when I got to the end, I realized you do NOT know the Lord Jesus Christ. You put Him and Elvis, Buddha, etc. all in one big lump & God is real. He wants to know you & for you to know Him. You need to be saved. I will send you some info if you will give me your address, phone no. etc. God loves you & if someone hadn’t given me this book, I would not know this about you. He wants you to know HIM, that he is real & His love for you is beyond your imagination. Get into the Word, in John, Psalms & get to know the Creator & all that Jesus has done for you. Contact me for further info.
God Loves YOU & I speak LIFE to you, the Zoe life of God.
Carol
YES thank you for this. Let’s stop the anti-boob insanity! I am the same size as you and they would be very sad if I went at them with a scalpel and put carcinogenic crap in them.
How could different boobs possibly be better? Imagine aliens coming down, looking at us, seeing women hating their awesome boobs for no reason. What a revelation: your boobs are perfect as they are!
This was interesting:
http://www.toxicbreastimplants.org/explant.htm
LOL love the comment above. Didn’t know God could be separated from Elvis and Buddha
Good Lord !!!
(smirk !)
There is far too much self absorption on this website. It reeks of self-importance and narcissism.
Andrea,
This post is awesome. Im not sure what your damage is, but these are a great bunch of girls helping the lost lonely puppys of the world. So, maybe you dont like it, but i sure did. Supporet and love is what we need in this world, and these wonderfull women have given it to use. Thanks so much for the blogg. So take that… and im only 13
I loved my size b “longs”. I miss them dearly. Cancer asked for them so I gave them freely in order to watch my children grow. So many women have said” aren’t you happy to get new perky ones?” I always say NO!!!! Perky does not substitute for sensations, feeling and comfort. Women need to have more compassion for themselves and others. Boobs are fleeting, as are your orgasims if you are blessed with breast cancer! Enjoy what you have, fat ass and all
Rory,its true men are attracted to breast.But they are more attracted to confidence and a beautiful smile.Green or blue eyes never hurt either.I think women should work more on their confidence and less on there breast.Although a woman or a man should respect their body and try to stay in shape.Us men dig a chick even if she is a little heavy but is truely trying to stay in shape.Also women that love to smile is so attractive.Like you and even Kelly Pickler.It really turns us guys heads.Also what better to remember a beautiful woman is there but a picture in your head of her smiling. RICK. OH! Rory,your beautiful.
Thank you! Thank you! Again & again Rory!
I’ve been obsessing with my 34A’s since I was in my early 30’s & still till this day to make me feel feminine & because my mom had big ones. (God Bless Her Soul)– But What happened to me?
I realize from reading your “wake-up” call blog, that I am happy to have what God gave me & will live the rest of my life without big “Silly” cones!
dd 09
I too have come late to appreciate my small 32A’s and also feel like I wasted a lot of time wanting more (mostly so that clothes would fit me better)….no more, I LOVE THEM and they are perfect for yoga! I do believe everyone is made to be different (I like the above comment about having her grandmothers’ and mothers’ parts!) and hope that young girls (and us older girls) can see their uniqueness as a gift and be happy and grateful from within for what we are born with.
Thanks Rory!
No words here from girls with big big boobs that get in the way of walking, running, living and being free from lewd and crewd remarks… I am a happy vegan and miss the days of running and jumping without needing to strap myself down. I just went to a plastic surgeon to look into a reduction- does that make me weak or empowered to change. Curious- but still love the site and can’t wait to have boobs that stay out of my way…. thoughts?
I thought boobs were meant for stairing at when a woman talks? KIDDING! Kinda…I think women overrate funbags not men. Men like myself do like a nice pair, big or small. Most of us (good guys) don’t care!!! If you think we do then I suggest you raise your standards on men or don’t make babies with them! Get it?
I can’t believe…my breasts are not for those to gawk at. My breasts are part of me, a woman. My breasts are not for others to see as a sexual icon. Just because my breasts are seen as foder for some to enjoy on a visal playground doesn’t mean my breasts are fair game to all to enjoy as the local water fountain. I am a woman. I am NOT a whore!
I am NOT a SLUT!! My boobs are mine, they are for me and they are for who I take in as my significant other. My intamate soulmate. Once my soulmate I should think and hope my sig-other will accept me as I am, breasts or no breasts. Although I have both breasts now I know that one day this may change and I will have to acccept what happens. It runs in the women in my family. Until then I will live my life to the fullest and go on with my life.
I would have to say that I like boobs but I love the ass something about a great ass. Most wemon with smaller breast have such beutifull butts. Well I believe that the boobs is overrated and most of the classes wemon around, have smaller boobs.
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hi how are you i am anil
iam anil hi how are you
Thats spoken truly well ! More men should read your post and learn to lose their stupid obsession with women’s assets. Its just plain dumb and emptybrained behavior and thinking on their part.