Advocacy & Gratitude
Meg Wolff
Over the past 10 years, I’ve become a pretty good advocate for myself. Because of the health challenges I’ve had (I’ve survived bone cancer and breast cancer), I’ve gradually learned to speak up for myself, and push myself harder than I had ever felt comfortable doing before.
That’s why when I recently heard a macrobiotic counselor speak about having gratitude for our hardships, I totally got what he was talking about. I felt it to be my truth because I felt it on a cellular level – my whole body relaxed, and I felt happy to have this truth confirmed. It’s a whole shift in how we look at things, and it’s a freeing shift at that.
“I’m not walking yet and I’ve had three surgeries. And there are so many other amputees on TV who are running, jumping and dancing. I’ve worked so hard and I’m not even walking. I feel so inadequate – I feel like a failure.” That’s how I felt before recently hearing the counselor. He changed my perspective.
For me, it helped to look at my leg situation more as a spiritual journey than as a failure. A journey of continual learning for me (and eventually one that others will learn from, too.) Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not inviting these challenges, but I’m aware that life and hardships can be an opening … that if I shift my attitude, or change the lens that I’m viewing through, I can see that a hardship can be a growing experience. An experience I can even be thankful for.
I can choose to be grateful, regardless. Instead of losing hope (or asking “Why me?”), I’m aware that I can look at my situation and ask, “What am I learning?”
I’m learning the ins and outs of advocacy. How to help myself and how to ask for and get help. I’ve learned over the years how to be my own advocate, to push beyond the easy answers and to seek beyond for the best possible outcome. What did I gain by doing this? A lot! I saved my life. The lesson I’m learning now is that when I’ve gotten as far as I can go being my own advocate, I have to ask for help.
“Find. An. Advocate.” Thank. You. Oprah. (And Maria Shriver!)
On a recent show, Oprah talked about how great she felt at age 50, and then how over the next couple of years her health took a turn for the worse. She didn’t go into too much detail about the health problems she experienced – only mentioning a thyroid problem and the fact that she was on lots of medications. Still, things were getting worse instead of better for her. Her friend and trainer, Bob Greene, remarked that the light had just gone out of her. When Oprah discussed this with her friend, Maria Shriver, Maria said that she’d had a similar situation with her mother, (Eunice Kennedy Shriver), and that she found an advocate to help them. She encouraged Oprah to do the same.
Oprah asked her friend, Dr. Michael Roizen, to be her advocate. He became her team leader, coordinating a meeting between doctors Oprah had seen over a few years. Together, they came up with a plan. Today, Oprah is drug-free and no longer has a thyroid problem.
When I heard her story, I knew that I needed to follow her advice. Like Oprah, I had reached a stone wall. I’m still in this process of changing my perspective, and I’ve decided to write about this experience as I go through it. I’ll use it as a learning tool for myself (and hopefully for others). If you have any thoughts or experience with this process, please feel free to share your successes or suggestions with me.
I’ve come to the conclusion that, as Albert Einstein wrote, “ The consciousness that created the problem is not the same consciousness that is going to solve it,” or something to that effect. Meaning to me: I cannot do this alone anymore, I’m going around in circles, I need some help to get a fresh perspective to help solve this problem of mine.
I’m in the middle of my journey, but I’ve found a doc friend who shares my love of plant-based foods to be my advocate. Basically, he’s helping me to connect to other doctors who have experience with amputees, surgeries, pain, prosthetics and with following amputees after their surgeries to see long-term results. He wasn’t the first person I chose, so don’t be discouraged if you’re turned down at first. My first choice was a woman friend (a doc and an amputee). This seemed the perfect fit, but it turned out that it wasn’t. My doc friend advocate had his own experience with numerous failed surgeries, so could relate to me on this level. His ninth surgery was successful.
How am I doing my part? I’m traveling to amputee support groups to talk with other amputees, and talking to some of their doctors. I’m asking questions of people who have had success and getting names. Then I’m setting up appointments for consultations. I’m gathering information that might help me. I’m finding doctors who are willing to work as a team with other professionals, something I hadn’t found in the past for whatever reason. Maybe I wasn’t looking for it, but I think it’s important for a successful outcome.
Communication. Teamwork. Time. I’m doing my homework in a different way. Not always easy, but necessary. I’ve learned that there aren’t any shortcuts for me. This time, I’m digging in deeper, I’m being grateful for this hardship and I’m enlisting the help of God, myself and my advocate(s).
Meg Wolff is a two-time cancer survivor who teaches people about the vital link between health and a plant-based diet. Meg lives in Cape Elizabeth, Maine, and has a popular blog where she is building a community of people who believe in a healthy lifestyle. She is the author of Becoming Whole. You can learn more about Meg at www.megwolff.com and www.becoming-whole.com.
12 Comments
Thank you for using your experiences and hardship to teach. I am doing the same thing and know it is my path.
Here’s to endless possibilities!
Casey
Thanks Amy & Casey!
Meg, whatever you write it always so inspiring to me. I had heard about Oprahs’ health issues but not the “cure.” I am also trying to learn to be grateful, no matter what. . . there is always SOMETHING good in one’s life! :)
Yes, she didn’t say what helped, I was curious about that part too!
The point of her discussion was that she found an advocate who got her health care providers to work as a team to come up with a solution. Everyone got on the same page for the best possible outcome.
Great hearing from you Ricki, you are grateful!
Meg,you have always been and continue to be a role model and an inspiration. You have turned adversity into a friend, and challenged so many to learn from illness. Thank you.
Thank you, Meg, for sharing your story with us. I am a recent cancer survivor and have learned that it is so important to be my own advocate. It’s good to know that if I hit that brick wall that it’s okay to find someone to be an advocate for me. I, too, look at my cancer and the complications I have had as a chance to learn and grow. I still have my low days where I have a little pity party, but they are becoming few and far between. Now I look at everything that is going right and thank God for my blessings. Life is good!
Adversity gives us the opportunity to dig deeper, to think bigger, and to be more creative, whether that challenge is large or small. Adversity is a challenge to our being, from which we must adapt if we want to go beyond it’s limitations. An attitude of gratitude helps us come to acceptance of the challenge(s), and to open the doorways of possibilities for things to be different, even if that difference is only in how we relate to the challenge. HOW we relate to most things in life has a great impact on our experience of life & the challenges that we face along the way. The possibility of inspiration thrives in an open & grateful heart, whereas anger & resentment can block its receiption.
Having an advocate assisting us, opens our heart to receiving help, and to more possibilities, but I believe your intention & being open are key, as they set the tone for what resonates & what possibilities will be drawn to you. Getting help is wonderful in generating possibilities, but what I think may be more key is the idea of looking at the whole picture, an integrative picture. That might mean physcially, mentally, emotionally, spiritually. It might mean traditional & alternative, diet & medication, one part of the body to another. Whatever it is, it is looking at a greater whole, a greater realm of possibility that exists in a living system, that goes beyond an isolated perspective. Perhaps that is an individual perspective, or simply how one is viewing the picture, or who is viewing it. In any case, you are expanding the possibilities. I believe that belief in possibility is key, while staying open to how, when & what form it shows up! Your healing journey has taken you to amazing places & now it is expanding to even greater possibilities. Many blessings to you.
Michalene
Meg,
I don’t know if you remember, but we met in Orlando at O&P. I am a hip disartic…and I chose not to wear my prosthetic as yet…Who knows, maybe it is in my future. But for now, I am perfectly fine with my one-leggedness and very comfortable in my own body.
I too am on a journey of cancer and amputation. I am also learning to advocate for myself…searching for new doctors that have the same beliefs I do and recently expanding my entire belief system (not easy to do!). I’ve never felt the Why Me?…because I am a firm believer in “shit happens”. However when it comes to to my cancer it is much like you with your leg…I have found recently that at I need to concentrate on healing and calming myself and letting go of my fears…I too am learning to be grateful, because for the most part I have a great life…I waste it with worry. But not any longer!!!!
Thanks for sharing. Good luck on your journey!
Lorri
my mother was experinceing bad back pain for a logn time and doctors always told her to see a chiropractor, after years of therapy the pain was still there, finally we all demanded to know what the problem was after seing several sopecialists it turned out it was pancreatic cancer, the doctor gave her 2 weeks to 3 months to live
Meg, You know I heart you to bits. I imagine you get similar emails as I do in regards to how your healing has inspired others. My greatest challenge was not in getting well. When you are on a mission and have a goal, it was pretty easy for me. My challenge now is sticking with all the health supportive practices I brought into my life and staying at my optimum health. When I find the answers, you know I will surely be sharing them with the world.
I absolutely loved your book. I love how your husband wrote about the situations that were occuring your your lives. The different view points helped me see how my husband felt during my treatment and recovery. You are magnificent! Thank you for your words
Here here! As a “fresh” cancer survivor, I know the frustrations of sticking up for yourself. Bucking the toxic “paid for” system to opt for the out-of-pocket hoilistic plant-based diet has been a challenge. One thing to remember is that until the law “Only drugs can cure diseases.” is changed, that fight will be uphill! You GO GIRL!! You have lots of advocates here!
September 10, 2009