The final Party
Good morning precious,
Several members of our community are going through some trying times right now. As I promised Tae, today I am posting some words from my new book Crazy Sexy Cancer Companion: Inspirations and Reflections for the Ride. Some of you are awaiting scan reports, others preparing for a passage. I have found extreme comfort in allowing myself to “go there” and play with the idea of what it would be like. This isn’t morbid. It’s sobering, liberating, comforting and freeing. Also, if we can “go THERE” then we can do anything HERE. Remember death is a comma, not a period…..
From the book:
“The terror of death is so powerful that most human beings will do anything to avoid even thinking about it. Unless we’ve flatlined, seen the light, and lived to tell the tale, most of us can only speculate about what the actual journey entails. For years the thought of death made me physically ill. A spooky, jinxing paranoia grabbed my mind before it could wander into the void. At the time, I believed that worry was praying for what I don’t want, and since I didn’t want to die, I refused to think about it. What if the worry could bring it on? Yikes, creepy, no thanks! Better to smoosh the heebie-jeebies than to play roulette.
However, anything that we hide grows in strength. If you refuse to allow yourself to taste extra-dark chocolate, the curiosity will one day get the best of you. Eventually, the temptation to explore the door in the floor became too great and I had to open my mind to the darkness. By allowing my imagination to drift and wonder, a very cool possibility floated to the surface of my frontal lobe. What if death is just like leaving a room? If you are willing to swim in this murky pond with me, read on; I promise the water isn’t too deep and that I have a life vest and a first-aid kit in my bikini.
Picture this. You are at a party with your family and friends, and you are all really happy, eating crackers, and enjoying one another’s company. You are laughing, hugging, and whooping it up. After a while you leave the room to go into another part of the house. Although you are no longer you with your friends and family physically, you can still hear them. Maybe you can even make out exactly what they are saying. No doubt Uncle Buddy is telling a great joke and Grandpa Harry is advising your sweet little sister to be careful.
You then open a different door to an area of the house even farther removed from the party. Now you can no longer hear your friends and family—but you know they are all still there, still in the house, still with you. Instead of hearing their laughter, you can now feel it. In fact, no matter where you go in the house, you feel their presence. You know that even though your physical relationship to them has changed, your energetic connection has not.
This last room is the universal God soup. The place where the saint tells us we’re home; welcome to the new party. Jesus hands us butterfly wings, Buddha offers a bowl of rice and peas, and Elvis gyrates in white socks and sequins, offending no one.
Your what-if visualizaton will probably be very different from mine. Perhaps religion or a spiritual practice has given you a comforting model of what to expect when your last breath is exhaled. If you feel secure enough to explore this space, I encourage you to do so. I promise that worrying is not praying for what you don’t want, and that the anxiety of the unknown can actually be more dangerous than a gentle fantasy.
I have no idea how the long dirt nap actually works, and to tell you the truth I don’t want to find out anytime soon! But this visualization really helps me in rocky times of fear and doubt. Remember, death is the end of the chapter, not the end of the book.
What helps you? Can you imagine death in a way that will give you peace rather than panic? If you can let go of the fear of death, what would your life look like? Picture it.
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142 Comments
Just wanted to let you know… beta results came in today… I am pregnant! Very VERY early, but pregnant none the less! :)
Was it the green goodness, the wheat grass, the colonics, the vitamins, the yoga, the gym, the organics the mind shift? Who knows for sure… I personally think it is a combination of all… and a positive attitude.
Just wanted to say a HUGE thank you to you Kris. You opened up a whole new world to me, and for that I am eternally grateful.
I read the blog faithfully, and think of you all…even if I don’t post all that much. You are all so positive and supportive… so wonderful.
Much love to you all…
Namaste..
Kristy
whooppeee! that is such great news! I loved being pregnant. Congrats. And it probably is “all of the above” keep up the good work!
Oh Kristy! Thats wonderful news. glow, baby, glow!
Kristy!!!!!!!! Yes!!!!!!! Yes, baby yes!!!!!!!!! You made my day love. I am enormously happy for you. Keep us all posted on the first crazy sexy blog baby. You did a lot of hard work my dear and look how it paid off. A great example for all of us. xoxoxox Kris
I love babies. Mary a.k.a. mhc
Can a person detox too fast. I have been feeling really ill???
Kristy-congrats on the pregnancy!!
OK… Loves…JUMP SHOUT I HAVE HAD A MIRACLE.. I AM FOR THE FIRST DAY IN FIVE YEARS CANCER FREE..
what had me in the hospital was I was coughing up blood and they had found a six month old tumor that was 14mm in my lungs and four tumors in lymph nodes and something..SOMETHING HAPPENED SIX MONTHS AGO THAT CAUSED THE CELLS TO DIE.. They are bloody raw and beaten. THE DR. SAID WHATEVER THE HELL YOU DID DONT STOP…BECAUSE THIS NEVER HAPPENS..
WELL I SCREAMED IN JOY.. THANKED GOD HUGGED DUNCAN AND SAID A PRAYER FOR MRS. KRIS… BECAUSE THIS DIET AND THIS LIFESTYLE IS WHAT I DID.. NO EXTRA CHEMO I HAD FINIHSED IT THIS YEAR.. NOTHING.. THIS WAS ALL NEW..
IT CAN BE DONE.. THE METASTISES IS CALCIFYING AND DEAD. NO GROWTH TURNING TO SCARS..
WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!
IT IS A MIRACLE. THANK YOU ALL ….
everyone is next. becky your armed and loaded with happy thoughts.. i cannot think .. i want to throw up pass out and am having the biggest whole body happiness orgasim on earth.
I walked into walmart free I go back in three months ……but today… my mind and heart are claiming the gift the blessed and wonderful universe has given to a very unworthy servant.
I love you all and Kris if I had your address I would be sending you 1 million roses… sugar and cocoa free chocalotes.. and hugs so big they would crush your guts out as my nephew says…
I send all of you hugs so big they crush your guts out tooooooo… my smile is going to poop my head wide open.. But it is a good day.
I LOVE YOU ALL…
GOONEY I AM GLAD YOU GOT THE RUST IDEA.. YOU ARE A LOVE JENNIFER.
ok>>> I have to go to give a mens bible study and have a birthday party and walk the saatchi. all first on this first day.
Many Many Blessings. Callie
Kristy I didn’t read was in a hurry saw baby……oh sweet shit… it is a good day… we are having a baby at csc… whooowhhoooohooooooooo nothing could be better. I love babies… God I am so happy for you. Thanks all for the bible study prayers.. will read everything after work.. got to hustle..and get moving. love you all. Callie
CONGRATULATIONS Callie !!!
I am SO happy for you ! !
As Kris would say…. ROCK ON ! !
And CONGRATULATIONS Kristy on your soon to be ‘little tax deduction’ :-) . . Way to go.
Tae:
Thanks for your vote of confidence.
Kris:
I sent an email to you at the address you gave me,
Clint
What a great day here! Congratulations, Kristy, and YAHOO, Callie! I’ve been sending good vibes for you both. Becky, you, too. You’ll be ridin’ the wave, for sure!
Callie, that is the biggest, fattest testimonial to this lifestyle that I’ve ever read. How motivating is THAT?!
So, so, so happy for everybody here. Truly, it’s the best news I’ve had in awhile.
Like Michael, I feel sort of compelled to always mention that I don’t have cancer when I’m here, like I don’t quite belong, but I get so much from this community. It keeps me feeling positive and healthy and on the right path. Thank you all so much for being welcoming and for sharing your lives.
Callie: I didn’t realized how attached I have become to you and your blogging until. Now tears rolling down my cheeks. Please GOD me next. I didn’t realize I wasn’t breathing until after the good news. AAAAHHH!! Breath. I am following this diet even if the test next week are negative. No more scares for me.
Well, well, well. I wish I could say it was a miracle, but it wasn’t. It was hard work and u did it too miss Callie. YOU did it!!!! I am so thrilled you sweet friend. Blessings sweat angel. Blessings…
Thank you for sharing your light and life with us. We are very lucky.
xo
Miss K
IT’S TIME FOR KRIS TO FIND ANOTHER WONDERFUL PICTURE OF PEOPLE TOASTING!! THIS TIME TO CALLIE AND KRISTY!!!! WHAT A FANTASTIC DAY IT HAS BEEN TODAY — EVEN THE SNOW OUTSIDE MY SANTA FE WINDOW LOOKS HAPPY!
CONGRATULATIONS EVERYONE! WHAT A VICTORY!!!
CALLIE OMFG!!!!
I am speechless and teary eyed.. YOU did it, the party is on girl! What a miracle, those tumors have nothing on you honey…you are a superhero!
Kristy, YEAH! Wait till you hear that heartbeat it is a magic moment you will never forget! Champagne for everyone!
this is a place of modern day miracle, I believe it in my soul..
deb
Hi all
Callie is the star of my blog AGAIN… boy she gets a lot of love around here!
debbiedoesraw.blogspot.com
What an amazing and blessed day it has been on our blog!
CALLIE!
I’m smiling and dancing for you! There are no words for how awesome this is!
Wow! I’m sooo excited for both Callie and Kristy! You two are proof of what amazing things our bodies can do if we treat them right.
I am so happy for you both! I hope you guys have big celebration parties. You deserve it.
Kristy, you should definitely do a baby blog. I love baby blogs!
Callie,
AAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!
I am smilling from ear to ear right now. Kris is right, this is all because you believed it could be done, and you did what you knew you had to do to accomplish it. Callie you are like a fricking rock star super hero!!!!!! I want to hug you so bad.
I took your advice and went to your site. But I have to admit that before I did that I was kind of thinking, what the hell is she talking about, rust?! Maybe she meant to say rest, but it was a typo. But I trust you whole hardidly so I went to your site and read about rust, and as I did, tears streamed down my face. It was just what I needed to hear today Callie! How do you always know just what to say to me? I am printing it out to remind me if ever I need it. Can you please tell me what your favorite color is, I would like to make you a gift.
Kristy -
I am so so so so excited for you. You and Callie are proof positive that our bodies just need the right tools to work proporly. You did an amazing thing to get to where you are now. You are going to be an amazing mommy!
Jennifer
Callie!!! I was in a restaurant by myself and read your post on my phone. Totally started boo-hooing into my napkin. WOO-HOO!!! Yippee!!! Can’t stop smiling.
Kristy, congrats mama! I look forward to following along on this new chapter of your life.
Mama Cowgirl, Yee-Haw to the revolution you were chosen to start!!
LOVE LOVE LOVE
Sandra
Hi everyone -
I am Sandra Joseph’s sister, Monica (Mo)- and this is my first post on a blog EVER!!!! I have been reading for awhile now and I just HAD to congratulate both Callie and Kristy on your wonderful news!
I also wanted to thank all of you for the light you have been shining into the life of my baby sister. Clint – I told Sandra I think you are her brother from another mother! I know how deeply your words have touched her heart.
I know I am proud big sister, but I would love if you CSC cowgirls and guys would visit my sister’s blog and view her recent post on the passing of our Dad. It’s http://www.sandrajoseph.blogspot.com/ (Sorry Sandi – just had to: )
I am so grateful to all of you for your kind words to Sandra over the past weeks – I know this blog has been a life raft in an overwhelming tidal wave of grief. You have also touched my heart immeasurably.
Many continued blessings to you all – Monica
Hi Kris my Virgo sister!I guess I need to start with an apology for my awful manners.I’ve been “with you” since your doc & book came out,and I’ve been in this room being quiet(so not like me)But I’ve been listening,learning and praying for all of you.Sorry I haven’t introduced myself before now.Muahh!!Kisses to everyone!
I couldn’t keep quiet any longer with such AWESOME news in the room!Kristy & Calli,my gosh ladies you dit it! I’m so stinkin happy for y’all.It’s sunny for the first time in awhile in Cali..God is in a real good mood today! Hell, I’m not even upset any more that I didn’t pass my test today!
Please know I think of you all daily and pray for you.
Gotta go for now,as Arnold says I’ll be back!(been in Cali to long,huh?)
Peace,Love and good vibes to all,
Linda
I love the vision of the party, definitely definitely agree. Having recently received not so good news from the men in scrubs (aka: doctors) this post cheered me up quite a bit, and helped everything settle more.
Keep on keepin on lady!
Congratulations Kristy and Callie! I am so happy and thrilled for you both. Thanks for sharing your good news.
Callie,
I AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!!!!!!! Keep on keepin’ on sister!
Glenda
Callie & Kristy,
I am ECSTATIC for you both!!! Fantastic, Awesome, Beautiful, Fabulous, Excellent, Wow, Way to Go!!!!! Can’t wait till this is a way of life for all!
Peace, love, veggies, & a green planet to all!
mj
P.S. Poopslinger-hope all is well with you too!
Callie,
This was like reading a suspense novel, but I’d peeked at the ending!!!
I’m so thrilled for you, not surprised. Your combination of healthy living,your loving & giving nature, determination, prayer and POSITIVE ATTITUDE- you got it all wrapped up in a beautiful package with a big, pink, gorgeous ribbon. I’ve been thinking about you all week.
I’ve been a little naughty today & ate a bunch of healthy, but fattening food. I’m gonna chalk it up to pre-Callie-news Superbowl party.
Congrats girl, much love, Sue
Callie – I HAVE NEVER been so moved by someone I don’t even know. Much love and good wishes to you.
TO THE REST – I have been kind of feeling spiritually lost, but this blog keeps ME SO CONNECTED to my humanity, community and spirit. I find myself (a lapsed Catholic) praying and sending good INTENTIONS and healing love to people I don’t even know.
And I’m becoming a better person because of it. Thank you.
Well Callie, I hope you and Duncan dance all night long…you most certainly deserve it, so sweet!!
Kristy – congrats and enjoy, becoming a mom are two of my most proud accomplishments!
Kris – the love is so strong today and all because of what you started here…so thrilled to be a part of this moment!
xoxo Sherry
Hey Everyone! This is Duncan. I COULDN’T HELP MYSELF!! I had to come on and say a couple of things.
I’m so proud of and for Callie. She has fought a hard fight, and will always do it like the true champ that she is (just like all of you here). I can’t put into words how Happy I’ve been since the Doc spoke those words to us this afternoon. I know you all know how I feel. We’ve just been a team most of my life, and I…well, like I said…I don’t have the words. BUT YAAAAAAAYYYYY!
Kristy…I am sooo happy for you too!! Having a child is an amazing thing, and I hope that all of the time you get to enjoy during the process is one joy after another…Many, Many Blessings!
To Everyone here at CSC…I don’t know what to say again. I can’t believe that I’m so speachless (if you knew me you’d understand that its not normal for me to be dumb-struck). You people have been a rock for Callie. You’ve all been the perfect prescription for her at every turn, everyday! Thank-you, thank-you, thank-you!
And, finally, to Kris…What can I say, and how can I say it?! Callie knew, the day that she saw you on the Oprah Show, that she had just had a prayer answered. And she did! What you have done by sharing your story, writing your books, and starting this site and blog has been AMAZING for everyone, and I know especially for Callie AND FOR ME! I owe you a debt of thanks that can never be repaid. THANK-YOU!!
Celebrate with us. We have been so blessed. Celebrate too, that everyone here is also Truely Blessed!
Many Blessings,
Dunc
You ROCK!!! Thank you for being an inspiration and a comfort. Sometimes tears and laughter are different sides of the same coin.
I just wanted to congratulate all of you on being
such an inspiration to so many. I am very humbled by your spirits and determination to fight and not let any diagnosis take away your wills to survive. Callie, this is such wonderful news. Congratulations. Kris, you truly are a gift to many. God is using you in a powerful way. It reminds me of the fact that His ways are not our ways…and that He creates beauty out of the ashes. You are all in my prayers and I feel blessed to read your stories each day.
Sharon
Callie and Duncan! Wow I just felt the relief wave over me! I can only imagine what it was like to have the doc tell you those magical words! And Duncan, nice to meet you! I smiled when I saw that you had joined the crowd! Your wife has been amazing for us, not that I have to remind you of that. I am putting my faith in my goody basket now. Along with my accupuncture, green juicing, healthy eating (although I did have ice cream last night – nerves), yoga’ing, praying, reading, etc. It’s all wrapped pretty and waiting for tomorrow’s results. One way or another, I know you guys will be here! That’s so great. It’s like the Verizon commerical where the person’s network is following them whereever they go. HA!
Kris, you are the force of nature here. I’m going to re-read your book tonight and bring it with me tomorrow to scan day.
YAY CALLIE!!!!!!!!!!
Dearest Callie:)
I cannot even begin to convey my utter excitement and happiness. Oh and relief too!! You go girl!! So, so happy for you, you know you never have to go there again, do your plan, have faith in your beloved, love yourself. So wonderful, blessing beyond imagination to you and your family.
Love,
Joy
P.s. Thank you Clint for your kind words and prayers:)
CALLIE AND DUNCAN -i AM SO HAPPY FOR YOU!
Becky –
You have my support and prayers and waves of healing and hope comoing your way for your scans today.
Callie –
Girl, you have got to write a book about this! I couldn’t stop smilling last night. And this morning my husband and I clanged our glasses of green juice together and toasted to BEATING CANCER!
Kris –
You must be so proud of what you have created. So many of us were like lost sheep until you came into our lives and now we have hope and the tools to heal. I personally find this blog to be like an addiction. I didn’t grow up in a supportive family and never knew what it was like to be surrounded by so much love and support until I came here.
Holistigal,
where are you? I hope you are OK. Please check in.
Jennifer
Honestly my opinion, death just sucks…I watched my grandpa die, after a long struggle in the ICU for 6 months…He tried so hard to live and get better…But, despite his long awful death- the bible says you “sow in tears.. but reap with joy”- Psalm 126:5 “They that sow in tears shall reap in joy.” http://www.blueletterbible.org/kj
v/Psa/Psa126.html#top
And I cant wait to see him in heaven!!!!!!!!!!!! I’ve sown the tears, and cant wait for the harvest of joy that will come later! The hope of heaven,something perfect- is amazing-
Revelation 21:4 “and He will wipe away every tear from their eyes; and there will no longer be any death; there will no longer be any mourning, or crying, or pain; the first things have passed away.”
http://www.blueletterbible.org/cg
i-bin/tools/printer-friendly.pl?
book=Rev&chapter=021&version=nasb
And even while facing death my grandpa still had his wonderful crazy sence of humor- he’d laugh and tell us to flush his ashes down the toilet! LOL my gramps was quite a character! Then I’d tell him jokingly- “No I wont put you down the toilet! I’ll put you in my favorite coffee container” (he was well aware of how much i loved my coffee) and then he’d say he’d love to go in my coffee jar LOL! crazy guy! So, I think death is sad, sucks,yet on the opposite side of the coin- can be something beautiful and full of hope,and sometimes something funny-that is if you have someone who handled hard times with laughter like my grandpa..”get better not bitter” about death too…
totally chic girly~
woohoo! congrats on the baby! how exciting!!!
callie~
AWESOME AWESOME news! Just completely wonderful!!! and Hello to Duncan!! :)
Hi MO!
hope you keep posting! :)
granola~
thanks! just been busy, not online much right now, cleaning house, cleaning the carpet lol, doing early spring cleaning, getting rid of clutter- I hate,despise clutter LOL…how u been!? :)
Facing what may happen to you and walking your children thru the unknown is always difficult. The final party is a very good way to put death. A sensitive way to explain it to kids so they can understand that there are really only two outcomes one is to live the other is to obviously die. I don’t want my kids to be afraid because i am not afraid.
Kris,
That is one of the most powerful things I have ever read. It literally brought me to tears!! My dear Mum-in-Law is currently battling breast canSer, and your book, documentary, and website have been so helpful, hopeful and inspiring. Thank you.
Lead on Captain!
Love to you all,
Rachel
Wow, we have 2 rachel’s now! I think we need nicknames to help know who is who!
~RachelRae
Are you talking about me or is there another too? :)
Rach
book club…mmmm…Healthy Aging…by Dr. Andrew Weil. It is about is more about embracing all stages of life. Mary a.k.a. MHC
January 30, 2008