I have a question.

My father-in-law just finished his last round of chemo. The tumor is still in his lung, but not growing. His hands look like they have been in an acid bath. I mentioned juicing to him about a month ago, and he read a book about it and said he was going to start juicing. I was so excited. Then yesterday I was over his house and he told me he wasn’t going to juice because he read on the website:
http://www.coljoe.com/cancer.treatment.htm
that the motor in the juicing machine kills some kind of acid that is beneficial for the juice to be effective in curing cancer. I was stunned. First of all this is a man that has terrible eating habbits. Lots of sugar, white bread, sausage, soda, the list goes on. And he decides that juicing won’t work because of this website, but continues to feed his body alll that crap I mentioned. My husband and I have been juicing for about 2 months now and feel soooooooooo good. I know it is working. I’m just frustrated. Has anyone ever heard of such a thing? What can I say to him to try to chance his mind. He did order 3 cases of carot juice from some Hollywood company, but it is canned juice, it can’t be as good as fresh. UHG! And are there any suggestions for a cream to use on his hands? They look so bad.

P.S. I accidentally used cilantro instead of parsley in my green juice this morning, and it was actually really good! I think I might do it more often.

Miss you Kris!!!!!

Jennifer

OK so…I don’t have cancer but have been reading this blog from the minute Kris was on Oprah. I have lived a pretty unhealthy lifestyle in the past and managed to tack on 50 unwanted lbs. up and down for years afte college. had a daughter 6 1/2 months ago and now I am determined to get my health and weight under control. I have read CSC, skinny bitch, and currently the raw food detox diet.(level 3 – yay!) I have all the info, making small changes but felt like I couldnt really get started without a juicer. don’t really have the money to get one. BUT then!! yesterday while picking up my daughter from my mother’s house – there is a brand new breville juicer waiting for me!! an early present from mom! I couldn’t be more excited and happy to really start now. for the first time I feel like my priority is my HEALTH and the weight loss is the added bonus. This will work. It has to.
I am telling you all this because I need to get it out how excited and hopeful I feel! Been getting blank stares from hubby & whoever else when I go on and on about how kick ASS getting this juicer was! :) please wish me luck!

thoughts and prayers w sandra!

xoxo

Hey Goony,
I know the frustration with your dad is hard. Just keep encouraging him. Maybe make some juice when you visit him and drink it yourself, hopefully it will catch on. The carrot juice is tough because it has sugars in it and when you are dealing with cancer sugar is a big no-no. Just stay positive and keep the encouragement going. When he is ready he will be ready.

As far as for his hands, I use coconut oil as a body moisturizer. My husband uses it and I use it on my kids instead of lotions. We love it. In fact, I was at a holiday party last night and hugged a friend I haven’t seen in a while and she said I smelled so good and healthy. I said “that is exactly how I feel!” It feels so good and it is really really good for you too, to eat and cook with and rub onto your body b/c it does get absorbed in your blood stream that way. Check out Dr. Mercola’s website and type in Coconut Oil, he does a nice job explaining the benefits. Try using the coconut oil and then have him put clean cotton gloves on to hold the oil in. When I was going through treatments and my feet started cracking I used Aquaphor with socks. That does the trick too, but the benefits of coconut oil are so wonderful that you would be benefiting him in multiple ways.

Sandra, how are you doing?! Thinking about you and your family, hang in there and be strong!

XOXO

Feeling hopeful….you go girl. Infuse that body with fresh veggie green juice and you will feel so good. Small steps to transition, but once you do you will be amazed. I started last summer after packing on some weight from post-chemo and current meds. Eating 80/20, juicing etc. has been the ONLY thing that has not only made me feel so good and healthy, but has helped me stabilize and slowly lose the weight. Good luck, stay focused and juice baby juice!

Clint,
It was actually me who asked the soy question. I appreciate your response. All I will say is that in my opinion it is important to choose a company that can be trusted and has lots of integrity (such as Shaklee) if you choose to use soy products. But, I am open to & will be respectful to hearing more about other opinions.
Thanks, R.R.

To Feeling Hopeful-
I am so excited for you!! (Doing a virtual cheer JUST FOR YOU!!). I also do not have cancer, but did a recent, first-time EVER healing juice fast for ten days following Dr. Young’s *Greens only* juicing protocol in the PH Miracle book (he also has a book-
the PH Miracle for Weight loss, fyi). I lost over 10 pounds (the flabby pounds you never lose, you know-the jiggly part) in ten days, and my body felt so incredible to me! I was so very, very proud of myself, too. I went from a size 10-12 to 8-10 so quickly, so I know it works. Here is a tip for keeping up with the juicing that I have found helpful-
As soon as you bring home the produce, *PREPARE IT all for juicing. Clean it, trim it, cut it if you need to, and spin the greens dry before storing it all in the fridge. I was advised by a produce employee that most leafy greens are best stored just wrapped with papertowels and left dry in the fridge. Moisture is what kills it (have had this happen so many times leaving it in the plastic!).It seems silly, but I have found in the past that I would get out produce, wash it, trim it, soak it, etc., then juice a batch…clean it all up, then do it from the beginning all over again the next time. What a waste of time!! I find that if it is all prepped and ready to go, keeping up with it is so much more of a snap, eliminates all that duplication, and so is quicker, too.

Keep in mind that tastebuds and palates (sp?) change and grow over time. What might taste funky in the beginning can turn into a taste and smell you adore and look forward to!

Your mom is such a doll-gotta admit I am jealous!xoxo Please keep me posted on the ease of use for the Breville. I have had problems with my Champion and in the future might need a different one, so I will be curious on the performance from a novice perspecitve.

Rev it up, girlfriend!
~Holistic gal Jen

Hi all
Just got back from the onc…not too good. My white blood cells are multiplying in spite of two month of juicing and rawness and green vibrance. I know I have to just keep doing it and keep hoping for a miracle.
If anyone has known anyone who had chronic lympocytic leukemia and was able to control it, please write to me and give me hope.
I am feeling pretty low right now..

Debbie,
Bless you and I am holding you in the light. I saw on your site that you mentioned Unity from what I wrote. I am so happy! I loved the affirmations you put there. So sad to hear of your disappointing day…however-try as best you can to maintain a positve vibration, attracting in, attracting in, allowing only all that you desire, rather than giving thought to that which you don’t. Again, visit the abraham site for this if you have not yet discovered them. Yesterday’s daily was really good-about healing.

I want to know if I can add to your arsenal of holistic approaches at all?

I have not read enough to see what you have yet tried, however, please visit vibemachine.com and look into this leading edge healing therapy. I personally have heard of so many healing testimonies (the practitioner here in California is regaining her eyesight from vibing, a pancreatic cancer patient I met during my first vibe had been sent home to DIE in August or September, I think. Anyway, she started vibing every day (at the time she was too ill, stage 5, to ‘qualify for chemo,’ and doctor said to get her affairs in order, etc.), then became well enough to ‘qaulify for chemo’ (a personal choice i know), and no longer has any tumors or cancer showing up at all.

The daily from Abraham indicated not to focus on the exact-well jeez…let me paste it here:

“Don’t get lost in the diagnosis, the medicine, or in the statistics about what somebody else did about it. If you don’t feel good, it’s because you’re not thinking in a way that allows the Energy to flow. You could just get really, really mad at someone you love and make every muscle in your body stiff. And you would ask, “Why does my body feel this way?” And we say, because you’ve had a Vibrational tug-of-war going on…Stop looking for anything other than your mental and emotional state of being as answers to why you feel how you feel in your body. It is all Vibrational—no exception! And when you get that, then it doesn’t matter what diagnosis has been given to you—it doesn’t matter—it’s temporary.”

Excerpted from a workshop in Orlando, FL on Friday, December 20th, 2002
All Is Well

Please always remember-it is TEMPORARY. Crowd out any fear, as Kris says over and over. Press on, my love.

Another source I am called to mention is the healerswhoshare.com site. They are leading edge in their vibrational approach to disease, as well. David Alan Slater is the creator of these formulas. I have read about (and met) people who have had TREMENDOUS SUCCESS with these remedies. I tried them myself for quite a while. I had much success, but he told me very honestly that for the remedies I needed, he simply had not yet created them. He is a skilled, magical diagnostician-he is a master dowser, completely intuitive, and ‘sees’ on all planes, if you know what I mean. You send in your saliva sample by mail, or you can call. It is so affordable-only $75 for him to test. Keep exploring, you will arrive!!

Have you started doing sessions on the biomat yet? I gave that site, too.

In my quest, I have recently began treating with a holistic acupuncturist who uses an innovative technique called Nutritional Response Testing. This is the first time that anyone ever found a Virus that is affecting me in certain glands (manifesting as fatigue, blood sugar isses, etc. etc.). Treating the virus (through the use of homeopathics, and also Standard Process formulas) and these glands is proving to be very attractive to me-I am departing greatly from (even holistically) treating the symptoms. Do some checking into this form of ‘diagnostics’ if you can, then getyourself there if you feel called to do so. It may just be the bridge you need to link your incredible, dedicated, superior, loyal, determined, time-consuming-you-rock-girl-eating raw program to your rainbow of perfect health.

And in the meantime, watch your thoughts (A good read is The Law of Attraction by Esther and Jerry Hicks-the teachings of Abraham).

Good healing to you, and was this helpful??

Lotsa good vibes going out,
Holistic gal Jen (didja call Silent Unity yet?) xoxo

Something I saw….

I hope it is okay to mention this, and again, I hope I am not speaking out of turn or telling you something that you already have talked about….If this doesn’t apply, ‘take what you need, and discard the rest,’ k?
I saw on your profile that you are a stay at home beautician. Two things happened in my life last week that I feel called to mention.

As I said previously, I have been healing fatigue that was onset in childhood. At my last doctor’s appt (the one I mentioned before-holistic acup.), he discovered very high levels of metals (which I susupected, only hair analysis is only so effective). I had water with me from home..he tested it (energetically) and WHA LA!! The source of heavy metals-But here’s the rub. I KNOW about drinking clean water…I buy it weekly and fill up my own jugs at a PURE WATER, REVERSE OSMOSIS FILTERED WATER SHOP!!! Only to find out it isn’t ‘pure.’ Okay, so point to consider for everyone.
Next thing I want to tell you…My roommate has been having difficulty with energy dropping, and has been treating too. Funny thing is, he started getting a bit worse, because he kept waking up in the night to urinate (so I’m automatically thinkin’ *prostate*, right?) But, no, turns out, the doc found *allergies to paint, carpet, and dust*-Yeah, we just moved six months ago into a newer house!! See, there is always a CAUSE for our diseases/symptoms, and it may take dedicated SLEUTHING with a skilled practitioner to find out what it exactly is….So, he put him on an allergy clearing (brand Standard Process formula), we aired out the house, put plants in the room, and are going to put the filter in there…two nights into it he is already sleeping better.

My initial thought is this-Are you by chance enveloping in your skin or exposing yourself to any harmful hair or skin/nail procucts? At your home-are there environmental toxins around due to this? My gal pal is a distributor for a non toxic, ‘cancer-free’ products company called Neways-(I think neways.com) and she met a beautician that was first introduced to these products for that very reason-the beautician discovered she herself was very ill from all of her exposure to toxins during her line of work. Making changes promoted healing.

Again, please forgive me if this is rudimentary to you, or you’ve ‘been there done that already.’ I am no expert, yet I am aware that there are several industries that have higher rates of cancers than others, and maybe you know this. If not, I hope this gives you HOPE going forward (that is what you asked for sweetie, right?) Data and something you can actively do to change the health of your cells, right? :) What more can we ask for?
Namaste,
Holisticgal Jen

Sandra~
Im so so sorry about your dad :( My prayers are with you and your family. Your family was so blessed to have such a wonderful man in your lives. Is there anyway for your mom to stay with you or other relatives so she wont feel so alone right now? I feel so sad for her. You all try to hang in there…

Teri~
thanks for the 5HTP answer! :)

goony~
My hands get so bad in the cold bad winters- I use “Neutrogena Norwegian Formula Hand Cream” its absolutely amazing! LOL If I go to bed with cracked bleeding knuckles, literally overnight by morning they are 200% better. no bleeding, cracks sealed -its just crazy-soft like a babies butt! talk about an quick fix! Please go buy some,try it- and smother it all over your dads hands- and tell him to slather a bunch more before he goes to bed- he will be AMAZED the next day lol! It really works. (it only comes in a small 2oz. sqeeze bottle thing- and its concentrated-so it says to just use a dab cause thats all you need, but when your hands are already bad, smother it on :)they will heal quick, then you wont need alot on a daily upkeep)

DebbieDoesRaw,
Wish I knew exactly what to tell you, but just want to encourage you to keep up the juicing and raw food. Two months isn’t a very long time, so your miracle could be just around the corner. CrazySexy Shrink Terri told me to write down what I want in the present tense, so I could feel what it’s like to already have what I want. She said it much more eloquently.
She told me to do that for something totally unrelated to what you’re going through, but it can’t hurt you right? So think of yourself with a lower wbc count.
Staying positive never hurt anyone, right?
:)

Lauren:
Thanks so much, you are correct I need to say “my wbc is lower…etc.” I think my emotions need some work right about now…food is under control but my moods are not!
thanks for your kind words, they help…d.

debbiedoesraw~ your in my prayers too! keep hope and faith alive, and keep up the veggie massacre. maybe kris or bav may have a bit more diet info that may be extra helpful.

Hi Jen
You are right alot of the things I use are toxic I amsure.. however I am very part time and really don’t do more than one color appt a week. We do have a new addition on our home and I have thought about that too…I am on a journey and I know there are more layers to this onion.
Thanks for your words.. I appreciate them and they are valid. I will keep you posted.
deb

apsm…sorry you have a long title!
thanks, I am thinking of trying to go to tree of life or the ph miracle place for a week and see what they can find. although I cannot afford it and my hub will have to take over the kid duties I think I may end up going that route.
deb

Hello =)

I have been reading up on all of your posts and had to say how amazing you and everyone else who reads and posts are!! You have a a genuine gift for expressing yourself through words and the energy that you possess is one of a kind!

Kris – I first heard about your crazy sexy self on Oprah and went out and bought your book immediately. Your attitude is revolutionary and everything you said and wrote about resonated deep within my soul. I marked your book up and down with my highlighter and appreciate how you empathize with anyone who is facing adversity in their life. I myself do not have canSer but have gone through quite a bit of a crisis in the past year…my younger and only sister, at the age of 19, had a brain aneurysm resulting in a head on car collision in addition to suffering from a stroke, broken hip, and a dissection of her right carotid artery on March 28, 2007. I never once in a million years thought something would happen to a loved one, let alone to my best friend and only sibling, and my life is forever changed since that day. My sister, Kelzey, is a crazy sexy survivor and I am her crazy sexy supporter. Your words of wisdom and insight have reaffirmed my passion for life and for helping Kelzey to tackle the obstacles in her way so she can fully recover and take part in all the wonders that life has to offer! I have stood strong from the get go and will continue to be a rock for my family and for my amazing sister. You are a TRUE inspiration and a goddess of empowerment (THANK YOU!! I draw such strength and positive energy from your thoughts and words…I cannot thank you enough for that!) – my mom is an oncology nurse with the Florida CanSer Specialists and I told her about your book which is now going to be a christmas gift for all the crazy sexy survivors she has the pleasure of working with and getting to know. It’s truly amazing how hope permeates all facets of the oncology nurse-patient context.

Anyways….sorry for skipping around so much…I cannot emphasize how vibrant and powerful your positive energy is. I cannot wait til your next book comes out!! Keep sending those good energy vibes out to the world for all the crazy sexy survivors to hear — ‘Carpe Diem’!!!

Peace & Crazy Sexy Love,
Sabrina

Debbie –

My healing, positive energy pours out to you!! Kris’ words and the positive words of all those who add good vibrations to this blog are so empowering — soak up all of the colorful, positive energy available here and never give up hope!!

I recently did a research paper on the idea that hope permeates all facets of oncology nursing (I am studying Nursing and Psychology and am intrigued with new medicine techniques and ‘mind over matter’ ideaology). If I may refer you to a book, look into reading Jerome Groopman M.D.’s book titled “The Anatomy of Hope”. The stories he offers are true accounts that correlate hope and redefining how your outlook and approach to your diagnosis. Embracing a crazy sexy spirit and attitude solidifies a strong, core foundation for which there are NO LIMITS!! You can do whatever when you put your mind to it — feed your body rich and healthy greens, fill your brain with the knowledge you need to fuel your intuitions and listen to your instincts for they will never lead you astray. Now shake that booty and scream at the top of your lungs “I AM A CRAZY SEXY SURVIVOR AND I WILL ALLOW NO ONE & NOTHING TO DEFINE MY LIFE BESIDES ME!”

Peace & Crazy Sexy Love,
Sabrina

thank you jen & laura!

made my first juice last night. delic! going out this weekend to restock my fridge and de-clutter my house. well…I will attempt to do all this…i do have a 6 1/2 month at home who is quite demanding of my time! :)also…been dry brushing all week….the feeling is AMAZING.

love this blog!

to Sabrina:
I have read that book and many others.. I like the Simonten method, I use it twice a day to visualize my l. cells getting destroyed and then dissapearing.
Thanks for the encouragement, I feel better today and am ready to go forth and be even cleaner…meaning it is time to investigate colonics and other.. rear items as it were.
Thanks
Debbie

Hi Debbie: I am sorry that you feel badly about your last blood test results. I realize that your WBC went up to 29,000 but in the grand scheme of things its really not too high. My mom’s is 58,000 and is not in need of any treatment nor are her doctors concerned. So, chill hon, you will be fine and you are FINE!!! Also, i am going to make your fruit tart recipe today!! It looks awesome!! You are awesome and don’t ever forget it!!! Love you!
Michelle

Hi All,

I a new blogger. Although I am not the one with Cancer, I just recently married it 3 months ago. My husband has a reoccurance of cancer (he is 32). Things are not going so well now that the excitement and joy of the wedding and honeymoon are a distant memory. His spirits are low and I don’t know what to do anymore to boost his moral. He is loosing his positive outlook and doesn’t seem to have what it takes to beat this. I am worried and feel desperate now.
I think I made a mistake in thinking I could heal him. I thought that by bringing love, happiness and support into his life, it would be enough to make him want to fight for this life.
Kris was right to say that two people who have the same disease with the same prognosis can have a completely different outcome. You have to want to heal and want to fight. His problem is that he is a workaholic. He hasn’t given his body any time at all to heal. He deals with his cancer by working more.
I feel like he is working himself into a grave.
What can I do to make him see the brighter side of life and of cancer? Would a natural depressant help in this battle?

Michelle youre so sweet, thanks for the encouragement! I hope your mom is doing well and drinking her green juices…I am not giving up, just a little speedbump is all….
lots of love back to you!
debbie

Hi rockin’ community!

Gotta keep it brief, my book is due Sunday so ya’ll know what I’m up to. A few things…Welcome new folks! Oh my holy word, I just love ya. Feeling hopeful, holisticgal and Sabrina – just to name a few – delightful! You ALL bring wide grin cheshire cat style smiles to my face. Clint too! I love when you post. You’re wisdom is rock solid!

Debbiedoes it raw- I emailed my mentor at HHI. Let’s see what he says. I also have a few responses for some other folks. Joy? Did you ask about colonics post partical removal of the colon? There was one other gal i said I’d get back to…anyone?

Married to cancer. Honey, i don’t like your handle. I think you need to change it. it just didn’t sit well with me for you. Unfortunately all we can do is walk the walk and BE the change.
Plus, the only time you can really change a man is when he is in diapers. I too am a workaholic, so much of what you said spanked me in the ass. I need a spank, my mother gave me one this morning. It sounds to me like he is running and pretending, dodging a mountain of fear. Can you go to therpay together? Would he go on his own? I used to think that if i stayed busy there would be no time to die – or live for that matter. I was wrong. My biggest concern however is you. You are not responsible for his life, nor will you be held accountable if it is shortened. Tough but true. Are YOU caring for yourself? I just emailed Crazy Sexy Shrink to weigh in on this one -especially about your meds question.

All you can do is make the food, be there, take care of yourself and try to get him to see someone other than you. Perhaps a spiritual community? This is the time to dig deep not flee the cancer crime scene. But you can only do so much….

Laura –

Thanks, I researched the coconut oil, and I’m going to get some and see if that helps his hands. I don’t know if I can change his mind about juicing. He is very stubborn. Once he has his mind set on something, there is pretty much no talking to him. When he first started his chemo, during the summer, his oncologist told him to eat lots of fruit. I actually made him a giant fresh fruit salad, to last him a week. That was before I found Kris and found out the truth. Now I feel like an idiot for doing that. It’s very frustrating that he isn’t getting the correct info. His whole life he has been very overweight. Food is his drug. During his treatments, they would feed him sandwiches and a bunch of other crap. I want so badly to try to talk to him about what I’ve learned here, but I just know he will argue every point I make, and no one ever wins a debate with him. Maybe his stubborness will kick canser’s ass!

Anyways, at least I can try to help him with his hands.

Jennifer

Kris-

I stumbled upon a documentary at rawfooddiet.powerfulintentions.com.
The name of the documentary is “Raw For 30 Days…a film about live food and the intention of healing”. Have you heard of it? I watched the 8 min trailor and it was motivating! It’s the sequel to “Super Size Me”. I think the film mostly has to do with how a raw diet can cure diabetes but it seems like it would also be inspirational for those fighting canSer. If you’ve heard anything about the film could you let me know?

Thanks,

Rinne

Hey everyone,

Just checking in…I am reading and thinking about everyone even though I don’t know you all personally. Tough, interesting, exciting and scary week…not ready to update just yet…still waiting on the official scan results. However, I didn’t see anything to be alarmed about…I snuck a peak…

My mom is here with me and I love her so much. Her canser is stable but her health otherwise is a challenge. I know that juicing and eating better will do wonders for her but she is not there yet. I can’t judge…I just started juicing, and taking care of myself and I am still not where I want to be.

My mom is stubborn and while she did not give birth to me I definately “inherited” the gene so-to-speak.(smile) So, I have been planting CSC seeds all week knowing she has to come to the conclusion on her own and in her own beautiful way.

Well, I am unintentionally mislead you all a little. I gave her Kris’s book and insisted that she read it and made her at least taste the green drinks I have been making everyday this week. I too had to consider my healther choices for a while before diving in.

Much Love….Be Well.

~*~NIKKI~*~

Feeling hopeful-
Qick question: what kind of dry bruch do you use? and where did you get it?
I have read about the benefits of dry brushing, but I can t figure out what kind of brush to use!
Thanks,
Julie

hi julie-

i just went to my local co-op health food store and bought a naturally bristled brush. there was a tag on it giving a run down on how to dry brush. was about 8 bucks. don’t remember the brand name off the top of my head. sorry!

hope this helps,
robin

On Wednesday I finally sucked up my pride and went to my Neurologist and confessed to my inability to control my stress and anxiety. It was almost like admitting defeat. For so long I was against anti-depressants, but it wasn’t until everything started to snowball I started having the most unnatural thoughts regarding my life. I’m losing my health insurance, and it was a terrible thing to hear right before Christmas and for them to give me until today to hand over money that I don’t have. I haven’t taken the pills yet, but my goal is to better my emotional state – put my health on hold and go back to work in hopes of getting some type of normalcy back.

I’m still afraid to take the pills and would really enjoy some insight or personal experiences with anti-depressants. I’m quite worried as I have to mix them with my seizure medication that already makes me feel crappy.

Before it’s said, I don’t qualify for any assistance. My partner makes too much money, but they don’t take into account the money is gone after paying for all of my medical bills.

I have $42.00 in my bank account that has been sitting there. So I figure since I’m always the one to be diagnosed with things that happen to only .01-1% of people, I’m spending it all on lottery tickets! If I win even 4 grand, I’ll be happy. Then I can keep my insurance! Here’s to hoping. Haha.

Anyway, if anyone has experience with these pills. Please share them. I believe my profile has my email address in it, or you can just post here.

Hope you ladies (and men) have wonderful holidays. My mom is going to visit me and I haven’t seen her for 8 months so I’m excited.

*Hugs*

Laura, Jamie, Jennifer, Michelle J, Lauren, Anne, Debbie, Clint, Lori, Doug, Becky, Joy, Annalin, Witness, Dale, Rinne, Callie, Holisticgal Jen, Kelli, Feeling Hopeful, APSM, Terri, and Kris: (Whew! If I’ve missed anyone, forgive me and add your name here) I cannot express in mere words my gratitude for your expressions of kindness and symapthy regarding the loss of my dear sweet daddy. I have taken up more than my fair share of space on your blog, Kris. I hope you’ll forgive me for being the blog hog. I humbly thank you again for this incredibly supportive community.
The funeral is over and it was, for the most part, a beautiful celebration of my dad and his love of life. I shared that I was terrified to see my dad lying in the casket. It was a moment I had feared my entire life. I expected to be shattered by it, for my knees to give way, to sob uncontrollably. But my dad loved to surprise me and he saved the best for last. When I got up to the casket and laid eyes on him, I inhaled sharply in surprise, and believe it or not…delight. It sounds weird but everyone was commenting on it and I swear it’s true-he was smiling! His eyes were closed, of course, but there was a twinkle behind them and his lips were turned slightly upward in the most beautiful grin you’ve ever seen. He looked more than peaceful; he looked happy, like he knew a secret. I suspect he does. I could not look at that smile and feel tragic. I had a shocking and overwhelming feeling of, well, okayness. The waves of loss and sadness still come, but they are less arduous. Let the healing begin.
Clint, you were right about those first three days. Going to sleep and waking up are still the most vulnerable times. My mom has come a million miles since my last post when she was suicidal. Tonight, she is sleeping at home alone for the first time and she was truly fine about it. Not happy that this happened, but determined to go on and live life, just as my dad would have wanted. I will try to follow her lead.
Dale, it’s helping to think “I AM my dad.” I shared your wisdom with my mom and sister, and my sister’s kids. We ARE him. He’s still here.
Kris, I now understand how you chat with grandma and she chats back.
All who have lost someone and shared that you still feel them with you, I get it now. I hear my dad. I feel him. My mom said the same thing, adding, “And I don’t even believe in this shit!” You don’t have to believe in ANYTHING- not even Elvis- to experience it.
Sweet Callie, is there a heart more generous than yours? Thank you for the prayers and the flower dedication from your church. You asked about my last name. Am I the only one unoriginal enough to use my real name as my login? I’m really Sandra Joseph. My dad is/was (past tense is hard) John Joseph. There’s a pic of him on my blog with more to come if you’re interested. You are such a blessing my Crazy Sexy Callie Friend. Thank you.
Holisticgal Jen, OMG girl, thank you for all the Virgolicious information. I PROMISE you did not type in vain. I can’t wait to get started on all of those healing supplements and therapies. I will certainly need them. The day before my dad’s death was my first colonic and my first day of keeping 100% raw. Since then, I’ve been surviving on pizza, cookies, and coffee. I managed to throw my juicer in the suitcase, but right now the thought of anything green makes me throw up in my mouth a little. What is it about sugar and white crap that’s so damn comforting? I’ll get back on the wagon in time.
Rinne, you shared a quote about enduring the darkness because it shows you the stars. My friends, you were the stars that were shown to me this week. May your kindness be returned to you a thousandfold.
LOVE LOVE LOVE and ENORMOUS Gratitude,
Sandra

Hi Sandra,

Am so glad that you have risen from your hard time, are now able to look back at your Father in a different Light. For me, losing a parent was like losing a best friend, and was a difficult University to graduate from.

When I saw you on Oprah, and knew that you perform in front of 1000′s of people, I knew you would rise to this occasion.

Bravo !

sincerely,

Clint

Not sure if anyone is still reading comments on this post – in case so i wanted to know if anyone has heard of the truehope foundation? I read the story of the girl where it all started (bi-polar) and how her dad eventually helped develop a mineral suppliment (they call it EMPower Plus). They do admit that it’s not a full cure and that it doesn’t not work for everyone but they have had very high success rates with bi-polar and depression using this natural suppliment. Curious if anyone knew anything about it.

Sandra J,
Oh sweet one. I am so happy to hear from you! ‘Virgolicious?’ LOVE that! (And the comment about my not typing in vain-you were sweet). If you had not made the note on the current blog to go back to the older one, I would not have seen it, so thank you for doing that. :) I will make a note on the current one, too.

I was deeply amazed at the emotional transformations that took place within you and your mom-in just a matter of days. It was informative and heartwarming, and reaffirms the healing power of Time.

Thank you for your energy amidst your grief to take the time to share the details with us. I do not feel that you hogged anything-but then, I love to type, share and read too, so I am biased. :)
You packed your juicer in the suitcase??!! Commendable!! Work it, girl. You’ll get back to it.

Yeah-what is it with that dopamine-raising white food and coffee crap?! I always say ‘I’m on acid right now,’ or ‘I’m doing drugs.’

What a sweet description of your dad ‘having a secret.’ The way you wrote it, I could picture it. How angelic of him for you.

I would love for you to keep us posted if you like when you decide to try any of the suggestions, especially if they help you feel better. I notice there are people dealing with depression or sadness who may not know about trying gentle approaches first. To read about the flower essences, visit http://www.bachflower.com.

Thank you again for your energy to reach back and let us know you are feeling so much better.

Sending loving hugs,
Jen

poopslingingmonkey–

b12 shots are good for dementia. Why docs don’t regularly give them is beyond my comprehension.

Sandra Joseph–so sorry to hear about your dad.

peace, emily

thejuicechick ~ thanks! yeah, you know, i have heard of that a long time ago, but totally forgot about it though! they also work great for bad migrains too.

dear tragicomedy,
as a psych nurse and a canser survivor I have found that sometimes medication is important to getting back on track. faulty automatic thoughts can become ‘hardwired’ in the brain if we don’t break that cycle. cognitive therapy is a good start to changing automatic thoughts, and medication can help too.
some pharmacies are starting to have programs that offer $4 generic prescriptions to anyone – no insurance necessary, no questions asked. the list includes all types of medication, not just psych meds.
the pharmacies offering $4 prescriptions include WalMart and Sam’s Club pharmacy. (this is not an endorsement for their employment practices!) I have heard that Target pharmacy will match the prices. KMart pharmacy was also offering $15 90day generic prescriptions. you should be able to access this information on the web or just give them a call.
as a worker with people with a severe and persistant illness these programs have made a big difference.
best wishes on your journey
katherine

I did find a phsyciatrist
and I am on an anti depressant
I felt that dealing with depression
(or not) would hinder my total
health, and at this point in time
fighting the cancer was my number
one issue!!!

If I was depressed all the time
where would the FIGHT be??

I encourage seeking help with
depression, as it can lead to
other , more horrid , disease.

Cancer loves stress and sadness!!
ugh

thanks for all the info Teri, Deena